La Raptor En Paris

Hello everybody, and happy New Year! Sorry not sorry for the long absence– I was in France! There’s Jurassic World news to cover, but right now I want to show you some (blog-relevant! I know you don’t like looking at other people’s vacation photos, but these are actually cool) stuff I saw.

There’s a museum in Paris called La Musee D’Historie Naturelle, it’s the national natural history museum of France and it’s much better than the American one, as it has an entire Gallery of Paleontology. Well, as soon as I heard about that, you couldn’t pry me away from that place with a crowbar and a task force of circus strongmen. Some of the dinosaurs there were:

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Mosasaur, the star of the next JP movie! I met her before she was cool, you saw it here first. This was the only fossil here that they actually seemed to care if people touched; it had a rope around it, and everything else was sitting on a wooden pedestal like, “Whatever.” Here is a picture of me cowering from her, enhanced with innovative Can’t-Show-My-Real-Face-On-Here technology:

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Carnotaurus, which you probably recognize as the distant relative of T. rex and the main attraction of Disney’s Dinosaur ride. Note the rex skull to the left. You can’t see it too well, but its jaw had been knocked to the side; apparently the poor guy had been bashed on the head. Just a reminder that something was once alive that was big and dangerous enough to give Tyrannosaurus rex a major head wound.

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Iguanadon, and in case you didn’t know, this is the very first skeleton of the very first dinosaur ever to be found and named. It was like meeting a celebrity. Note the incorrect mount job; this guy hasn’t been attended to in quite a while.

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Apatosaurus, which was repeatedly referred to as “Brontosaurus”. I almost whacked my head on its tail walking under it; when I say the museum people are slapdash with their bones, I mean I could’ve reached up and played xylophone on a dinosaur spine if I’d had the inclination. I didn’t touch anything, in case you were wondering. The kids there were a different story.

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Triceratops’ head. Note the little channels all over it, which are for blood vessels.I still think these guys could shift their skin colors.

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Saurosuchus, which isn’t a dinosaur but oh man look at it.

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Dromaeosaurus, one of the species that Jurassic Park’s raptors were based on. Unfortunately, this guy was a little too dead for admission into the Raptor Squad, but he hasn’t let go of his dreams.

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A deinonychus claw, from another Jurassic Park raptor descendant. Look at the tips of the sickle claws– they’re all worn down, so they’ve obviously been used a lot. This is a bona fide prehistoric murder weapon.

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Unelagia, whose mounting I love. It’s always great to see museums displaying dinosaur skeletons in action poses.

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Archaeopteryx. Look at all those feathers! He seems to have met a nasty end, but at least he looked good.

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And finally, Allosaurus, complete with another bad mount job. There were other bones there, including some cool ape-to-human transitional forms and giant prehistoric turtles. Oh, maybe I should show you what the other half of the museum was like–

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But I didn’t have huge amount of time there to do anything except gawk at dinos, so there you go. If you’re ever in the area, you should really check the place out.

I saw some other stuff there, too, including some things that don’t really need explanation:

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Where Phantom of the Opera took place:

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The best department store windows ever:

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And, last but not least, the cutest dinosaur fetus you’ll ever see in your life:

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Finally, because I’ve recently come back from Europe and am therefore obligated to brag that I know current European culture and look down my nose at everything American, I found some cool French music. Camille Estelle’s album is fantastic, particularly “Au Fond De Toi” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDgsqTCSDtw). Check it out and feel superior. I know I do.

Thank you for looking at my vacation pictures. Hang on for a lot of Jurassic World news!

By the way, I know a lot of my readers are from Canada, so at this moment I would like to take back anything negative I’ve ever said about your country. I had two layovers in Toronto during my trip, and while there, I experienced the transcendental experience that is Tim Horton’s donuts. You people don’t know how lucky you are to live in a country with those things. Anyway, viva Canada and would you mind if I came to live there? I’d bring my own toothbrush.

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5 thoughts on “La Raptor En Paris

  1. The animal you’ve called Mosasaur it’s not even a dinosaur. It’s an old kind of whale, a mammal, that lived several millions of years after Mosasaurs.

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    1. Really? I guess I wasn’t completely accurate, then. Thanks for letting me know! (I still think it looked like an awesome animal. Do you know what it’s called? I didn’t take a picture of its placard.)

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