More About the Story/ What?

SPOILER ALERT!

Today’s post will make you happy and then very, very angry. In a minute, you’ll see why.* We’ve heard from Jake Johnson and others that Jurassic World’s story is solid, funny and good in general. Today, we got a confirmation of that; we also a got a rumor that the story in question is about to get pretty insane.

But first let’s hear the nice part. Frank Marshall, the movie’s producer, talked with Collider recently. He touched on the movie, and here’s some of what he said:

Is that why it took some time to get to Jurassic World?
MARSHALL:  That’s one of the reasons, yeah.  It was about story.

After 13 years of being tossed around, that had better be one monumental story you’ve got there.

And people expect so much more now.
MARSHALL:  Oh, they do!  I believe that the audience wants to discover the movie in the movie theater.  I don’t care what you say, with all of the leaks, I think it’s a spoiler.  You want to see Star Wars like you saw Star Wars the first time when you had no idea, or Back to the Future or Goonies or Bourne.  You don’t want to know what’s coming.

Judging by how we all latch onto leaks like lampreys and spread them around like pinkeye at a day care, I’d argue otherwise. But in a way, I think he’s right. Part of the Jurassic Park movie experience is that sense of awe that the films try to convey. The T. rex scene in the first movie wouldn’t really have been the same if we’d all watched the un-edited footage on our iPads three months before the film came out, would it? I mean, leaks are inevitable, it’s 2015; we can’t blame the producers for trying their best to preserve some of that wonder for us, though.

Jurassic Park was one of those films because you saved the big reveal of the dinosaur for the movie, but that was such a technological breakthrough.  Is there another breakthrough you can make on the fourth film?
MARSHALL:  Not technologically.  You’re right, everybody has seen a dinosaur now, so it can’t be about that.  We have to have a good story.

I think I like this guy. I like him a lot. He’s saying what we’ve been saying since before the movie even started happening. We can’t rely on good dinosaur effects anymore, and the movie can’t prop itself up on SFX. It’s more important now than ever that these movies have solid story lines and well-written characters. Bravo, Frank Marshall. You seem like a smart guy. We’ll let you hold our baby. (Also, he hinted at a Goonies sequel and a fifth Indiana Jones. Okay to the first, although I think The Goonies is a good enough movie that the series wouldn’t be the same as it being allowed to stand on its own. As for the second, well–)

jpshouldb

Okay, we’ve seen the good and the bad, now let’s take a little glimpse at the ugly. Keep in mind that, although there’s always the minute possibility that this is for real, none of this is confirmed or official. (I say that so often, it should be this blog’s logo.) Found by Sickle_Claw on JPLegacy, here’s a rumor from Nuke the Fridge. Buckle up, folks:

Now a source close to production has leaked some key information about the new dinosaur. It seems the Indominus Rex will have human genes spliced into its DNA as well. For what purpose? Apparently, the scientists at ‘Jurassic World’ want to add problem-solving intelligence to their pet monster. So, who’s DNA was used for the experiment? You’ll have to wait to watch the movie to find out.

What? I… I don’t… I can’t…

There’s no logical reason for this to happen except… well, I can’t think of a logical reason except the same reasoning that the writers of Sharktopus probably used. A mix of snake, cuttlefish, T. rex and raptor is pretty fearsome enough already, wouldn’t you think? Adding human DNA won’t turn the scary up to 11, it’ll just make the whole concept lose whatever seriousness it has left. Why would the animal need more problem-solving intelligence? Isn’t that what the raptor DNA is supposed to do? And since they talk a lot about learning from Jurassic Park’s past mistakes, wouldn’t I. rex’s creators know that excess problem-solving intelligence is exactly what made the raptors so deadly?

This has to be fake. Whoever wrote this must be messing with us, because this doesn’t make any sense. If it is real, though— which is very unlikely—wow. The plot just thickened.

To be fair, if there was a sane and logical reason for something like this to happen in the movie, I’d be okay with it. And judging by what we’ve seen of the D. rex, it doesn’t look at all human. It looks 100% dinosaur (ironic, since it definitely isn’t). So I’m willing to accept this with one caveat: if anyone defeats or distracts the I. rex at any point by “appealing to the little bit of fellow human inside of it”, I will absolutely flip my lid, that I swear to you. Though the filmmakers probably wouldn’t do anything that stupid. Right?

Guys, what if the human DNA is Hammond’s.**

Rumor source here: http://nukethefridge.com/2015/01/11/…YL7LhuSpuCg.99

JPL thread discussing rumor: http://jplegacy.org/board/showthread.php?t=27582

Source for the Frank Marshall interview: http://www.jurassicworld.org/?id=223

*– Today’s post was sponsored by Upworthy.

**– Scroll to the bottom, nineteenth guess up. Someone called it first: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WMG/JurassicPark

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