More Website Features, Part 2

I didn’t get to cover the rest of the website’s new features yesterday, so I’m finishing it up now. Except for the rest of the dinosaur bios and a few news updates that’ll come up over the next few months, pretty much everything on the site is now accessible. Of course, that means there’s lots of content that I might not find for a long time! I’m prepared to do some digging, though.

I just got a tip-off from The Dinosaur Guy of When Dinosaurs Ruled the Mind, so I’ll hit that first. If you click on the different ticket packages, you can see reviews of them. Dinosaur Guy let me know about this little gem:

This pretentiously-phrased gem.

Finally, we have in-universe justification for dinosaur inaccuracies. The scientists “cut corners [with] amphibian DNA” and that’s why they’re featherless. That, of course, is what people have been saying for years upon years in regards to dinosaur accuracy, but now it’s official and we can rest assured that there’s a solid reason for inaccurate dinosaurs in the park. Thank you, pretentious dude, and thank you Dinosaur Guy. A lot of complaints may have just been settled.

Obviously I can’t cover all the reviews, but I’ll hit the good ones.


…Yeah, that’d be me at Jurassic World. “Shut up! I’m not crying because of the majesty of these beautiful creatures that I’ve loved since I was a kid! You’re crying!”


This, from the Family Package, is either a drinking reference or a wink-nudge. I, uh, won’t speculate on it further.


Never mind, that would be me.


Aaaaaaand now we know where the waterfall scene will take place.


You’ll give the T. rex some food, all right.


Robert Muldoon lives!!


Eddie Carr lives!!


Darn it, I already made the you’ll-feed-the-dinosaur-all-right joke.


The Batemans (rich family from the beginning of Lost World) live!!

Besides that, there are topic pages for more attractions on the park map, like Gallimimus Valley, T. Rex Kingdom and Aquatic Park.




This message was brought to you by the Sarah Harding and Richard Burke Institute for Things We Should’ve Known A Movie Ago. Oh, and I wonder if they’ll bring back the vision-is-based-on-movement thing in this movie? I feel like it would be an Achilles’ heel for Rexy in a fight with I. rex, and I for one do not want to see T. rex get her tail handed to her again.


I want to make fun of this, but it’s actually pretty good advice. So… ha ha, those kids are gonna get it.

That’s mostly it. Again, there’s probably more, but I’ll cover it on a different day. But don’t let me stop you. Go check out the site yourself! It’s amazing.


2 thoughts on “More Website Features, Part 2

  1. I remember reading through this site, and for a second I thought to myself ‘I want to go to this park’ with all seriousness, but then I remembered it was just a viral site for a fictional movie.
    Still, this site is incredible. It feels so incredibly authentic. I can’t wait until they release more dinosaur profiles, though.


    1. Yeah, I want to go SO MUCH. Even with the dangerous dinosaurs, I’d still want to go just for the chance to touch a real live dinosaur. And I can’t wait to see their Baryonyx and Suchomimus!


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