Toys, Toys Everywhere (Yes, There Are Legos)

Welcome to a special Valentine’s Day post that will, for the beginning at least, do anything but warm your heart. Well, it may affect your internal organs, I can promise you that much. We have some brand-new pictures from the Toy Fair! As always, there’s the good, the bad and the ugly, so let’s start with the bad and the ugly and progress to the good; trust me, there is good, but I need to get my sarcasm out first.

For instance, the display is gorgeous:

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Why can’t my room look like this?

But the toys are not quite so.

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Mosa, why? The picture looked so promising. Rrgh. There seems to be a line between ‘functional’ and ‘so full of seams it’s fugly’ that this toy tried to toe and instead ended up tripping and spilling coffee on. I mean, look at the head! Look at the general body! If it were a little more fluid, this would be great. But instead, we have this. Also, why is her Dino Damage wound covered with glass?

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AAAH! MOMMYYYYY! The heck is with that head?! There is a better I. rex toy, but this is nasty.

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Wow. A pen topper did better than this. No, really. Have you seen the Lost World Dino Writers pen line? They were little pens with toy dinosaurs on top of them, and one was a Pachycephalosaurus—I have one at home. And the little pachy on top of that pen looks better, more detailed and generally more film-accurate than this. Great job, Hasbro. A pen topper.

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Let’s just pretend that never happened, okay?

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Oh Allosaur, I hardly knew thee.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m fairly sure this is the Allosaur we saw in that leak; in that case, crap. I really wanted a nice JP allosaur, but this mold is meh and what is that coloration? Is this a leaked version of McDonalds’ new mascot? Even my mother agrees with me: “I don’t like the white.”

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Okay, so this isn’t entirely terrible (I’ll never say no to a Dilophosaur) but it’s not great, either. I’m not too crazy about the coloration, but the detail and the head are pretty good. It looks like a re-posed Electronic Spitting Dilophosaur.

Okay, now let’s see the good ones.

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Well, would you look at that! That is a really nice I. rex toy! The head is as good as the body, the pose is good, it seems film-accurate and it even got the feathers right. This is a good, solid toy. I love it.

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Here we go now. Progress. Not a lot of it, but progress; at least the color is accurate and sort of varies throughout the body now. The head seems a little more proportionate, and although the seams are still sticking out and the back half could use some improvement, at least I can hold down my lunch while I look at this.

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I like this. Even if it’s only because it’s a JP gate toy with a T. rex roaring inside it, I like this toy. See the gyrosphere seeming to enter the T. rex pen, which seems like a really awful idea in general? Take note of it, we’ll see it again.

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GIVE IT TO ME. I love this toy. Perfectly JP3-accurate, nicely detailed – what more could you want? Other than the fact that it kinda looks like your overexcited aunt at a family reunion about to pull you in for a hug, I actually think this is perfect in its own weird little way.

Okay, I know my readership, so let’s get to the real reason you clicked on this. Let’s see some Legos! Keep in mind that a representative has said that the sets depict “key scenes from the movie”.

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Oh yeah! That’s so cool! Mobile veterinary unit, Claire minifig, Owen with his knife and motorcycle, this is awesome! Wow, it even comes with tracking equipment! This is a really cool set all around. I can’t find a single thing wrong wi—ooooooohhhh no.

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Oh, no.

We’ve seen ‘capture gear’ on raptors in JW toy photos before. We saw a toy raptor with Navy-SEAL stuff on its face in the major leak. But I didn’t think it would be an official thing. For the sake of time and unnecessary worrying, let’s just assume that this is the least disgraceful option possible—that the headgear is only for transporting the animals and they aren’t lead around like dogs with muzzles on, or wearing some sort of Raptor Google Glass high-tech headgear—and just get to the rest of the photos. Okay. Deep breath.

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Here’s a very nice-looking I. rex pen set. I love the Henry Wu figure, the complex-looking pen and the fact that this seems to combine a pen breakout with the gyrosphere attack scene. I also love the ‘Vet’ dude trying to subdue something with a taser that a freaking helicopter gun can’t even bother. Here it is from another angle:

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See that little bit on the far left? Yes, the gyrosphere appears to be leaving the I. rex pen, which means that the gyrosphere was in the I. rex pen. Uh huh. Listen, any kids who might be reading, here’s an important life lesson. If you do something like drive a vulnerable glass hamster ball into an enclosure that holds the most dangerous animal on the planet, and you end up getting hurt, you juuuuuuust might be getting what’s coming to you.

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Well, deary me, isn’t this interesting. This appears to be Simon Masrani driving a helicopter, attempting to net a pterodactyl, while an Asset Containment Unit guy takes a perfectly logical course of action by just jumping out and grabbing the thing. In other words, they tried to capture a pterodactyl, but it ended up grabbing one of them and dragging him through the sky instead. I approve.

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OH YEAAAH! An ACU chases down a dilo in the woods while Gray scoots away in fear. And oh no, the dinosaur looks *puts on sunglasses* spitting mad! I hope this is a legit movie scene, because Dilo looks like she’s not only fully grown, but kicking butt.

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Wait, what’s happening to me? The dilo looks awesome and the human looks adequately terrified… so why am I suddenly feeling myself care about this kid? Aww man, is this movie gonna make me care about a kid’s welfare instead of making me cheer “EAT HIM! EAT HIM!” like I probably will with the rest of the humans?

ariana richards
STOP MAKING ME
Tim_Jurassic_Park
EMOTIONALLY INVESTED
Kelly
IN ADORABLE CHILDREN

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Aww. Stay safe, little guys.

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Here’s the packaged set of that Mobile Vet Unit thing we saw earlier. Apparently the Raptor Squad feels it needs to attack said unit, which Claire is driving. I’m not sure why, but far be it from a mere mortal to question the judgment of the Raptor Squad.

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*sigh*

Here’s the last set:

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*squeals* *jumps up and down* T. REX CHASE! T. REX CHASE! Some kind of capture truck a la The Lost World tries to chase down Rexy. Well, it’s not like we didn’t expect T. rex not to get out of the park and into the woods at some point (thanks, Claire), although I really hope the brawl between T. rex and I. rex goes down in the park and not the woods. Meanwhile, a guy in an Indiana Jones hat tries to distract the rex with a flare and come on, movie, are you serious? It comes with Hoskins’ minifigure as well:

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So there you go. Really nice toys and sets all around, which seem to show some really cool scenes. (Seriously, you know you want a Dilophosaur chase scene. You know you do.) The vast majority of dinosaur action seems to take place in the woods; this is potentially less exciting, but I imagine the people in the park won’t mind and we won’t have to watch too many unnecessary deaths (which I realize is probably a relative term considering what we’re talking about). I greatly appreciate and anticipate this lineup. Specifically, I anticipate staring longingly at the boxes at Toys ‘R Us, since I probably won’t even be able to afford to look at the I. rex pen set. If you were discouraged before, I really hope this was a nice bit of The Toys Don’t All Suck brand healing balm.

By the way, a lot of the dinosaur molds are taken from Lego’s 2012 DINO line, so if you have anything from that line, you can add a bunch more dinos to these sets.

There’s a couple of things that don’t have to do with toys to cover, too. If you haven’t signed up for a Raptorpass, here’s the latest one: http://www.jurassicworld.com/raptor-pass/t-rex-detail/?redirect=false

Nothing new, just some cool rex facts. (Actually, I don’t know if they’re all facts. Can we get the Dinosaur Guy up in here? Is the replacing-teeth thing true?) Also, T. rex has a teenage growth spurt. I bet they wear Hot Topic jewelry and read angsty poetry and write all-caps Tumblr posts about The Avengers. I will not listen if you try to tell me otherwise.

This is official:

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Well, I was wrong. The Raptor Squad does have varying coloration. In the trailer they all looked like Blue, but again, unfinished CGI. I really like this, as it’ll make it easier to tell them apart if nothing else.

Phew! That’s it for today. Here’s the source: http://www.comingsoon.net/movies/news/410049-toy-fair-check-out-legos-jurassic-world-sets#/slide/21

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3 thoughts on “Toys, Toys Everywhere (Yes, There Are Legos)

  1. Why does the LEGO I Rex look better than a lot of the other figures. That being said, i’m glad they decided to keep the Ceratosaurus film accurate.
    The T. Rex info seems pretty good, if not generic. It did fail to mention that t. Rex went through several names before finally settling on Tyrannosaurus, such as Dynamosaurus.

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    1. Dynamosaurus sounds like it should be equipped with heavy weaponry and a can-do attitude no matter where it goes. And I think the T. rex info was really just a refresher course for non-fans– come on, who in the JP fandom doesn’t know about Sue?

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