Kids love dinosaurs. You know I’m right– they don’t need any encouragement to play with a toy dinosaur. They eat ’em up.
So naturally, Hasbro has managed to capitalize on that by expanding its Playskool line. Now I don’t have any young, impressionable children in my life, at least none I see on a regular basis.
But you might, dear reader, and that’s where it gets important. Kids like dinosaurs, but it might be necessary to give them a little nudge in the right direction so they like the right kind of dinosaurs, know what I’m saying? Start them young on the path of the Park, and this generation will join the ranks of this fandom until we TAKE OVER THE… *cough* Sorry, got away for a minute there. Anyway, here are some new photos of the Playskool Jurassic World line. Keep in mind that these are kids’ toys and are deliberately cartoonish, so they will accordingly be mocked somewhat less.
For all intents and purposes, this raptor is an angsty 15-year-old-boy. Look at it– the mohawk, the narrowed eyes and scowl, the ‘tribal’ tattoos. It’s even got its arms out like it’s trying to rap or something. The signs are all there.
Here we have Luigi and Pete the Cat. The humans appear to still be trying to take the dinosaurs for walkies, which I still find hilarious.
Here’s another Dilophosaur! Cheer with me! It’s cotton-candy-flavored and has a jolly face that just says, “Hey, kids, you wanna try some special rock candy?”
This is a pretty nice-looking raptor, considering what brand it is. Also note that it has a sickle claw.
Aww man, I already used my Pete the Cat joke. Also, that helicopter doesn’t look very aerodynamic. Has it been inspected lately? Can I see the safety regulations?
I support this last set one hundred percent. The raptor looks nice and I love that it comes with a crate and transport car a la this first movie. It also comes with what I assume is a Jophery figure, so parents can use it to re-enact the first opening scene and teach youngsters about wild animal safety/ the circle of life! It’s a win-win!
Next is something that JPL user Sickle_Claw found on the IMDB forums. Keep in mind that we don’t know who posted this and have no way to confirm or deny its credibility:
“Now this is according to WIKIPEDIA so I don’t actually know if it is legit but here it is below.
Owen Grady (played by Chris Pratt)
Claire Dearing (played by Bryce Dallas Howard)
Vic Hoskins (played by Vincent D’Onofrio)
Simon Masrani (played by Irrfan Khan)
Dr. Henry Wu (played by BD Wong)
Katashi Hamada (played by Brian Tee)
Richard Wiesner (played by James DuMont)
Lowery (played by Jake Johnson)
Vivian (played by Lauren Lapkus)
Barry (played by Omar Sy)
Zach (played by Nick Robinson)
Gray (played by Ty Simpkins)
Georgina (played by Katie McGrath)
Jenny (played by Judy Greer)
Ben (played by Andy Buckley)”
Apparently they said they found it from Wikipedia. I looked and couldn’t find it, might have be once I’m using my phone.Thoughts? Legit or hoax?
So there you go. Take it with a grain of salt, but if you’re planning a Jurassic World fanfic, it couldn’t hurt, right?
There’s now a petition out to add sickle claws to the toy raptors:
Remember how I said I’d seen these guys before?
I have, and you probably have too. Take a look at the little animatronic toys up there, and then at these:
So there you have it. I wouldn’t be surprised if these and the Jurassic World ones are exactly the same toys. I’m not getting into any thought experiments about copyright and how unethical this might be, but if you really want these for you or your kids, you might consider getting them cheaper from somewhere else instead of buying the Jurassic World brand ones in stores. If you want to support the company and buy them from the newer line anyway, go right ahead, but there’s a cheaper option.
Finally, someone else has probably noticed this before, but look at the screen behind Gennaro:
Is that the planet Earth surrounded by fire? Why would Hammond put that on display for his guests? I’m slightly worried here.