New TV Spot


Last night, a TV spot for Jurassic World dropped! It includes some all-new footage, which casts some serious light on the idea that I. rex just might be the most metal animal to ever live. Check it out:

After the obligatory mosasaur and I. rex paddock shots:


If that’s the visitor center at the end of the street… huh. Interesting design. I mean I could be wrong, it might be the aviary or something, but if it’s the VC then I think I see some symbolism here. We’re pretty much in agreement that the visitor’s center is getting attacked at some point, presumably with lots of visitors inside, right? Now look at the design of the VC in that picture. It looks kind of like an ancient Mayan pyramid where humans were sacrificed. Hmm.

She ate it

Here, Owen and Claire drop the respective lines, “What happened to the sibling?” “She ate it.” Holy crap, you guys. They made a second I. rex and the one in this movie ate it. Man, this girl is hardcore. She’s been training to be a slaughter machine her whole life. I don’t know whether this cannibalism went down recently or during the dinosaurs’ white girlhood, but since Owen didn’t know about the incident I’m guessing it’s the latter. This raises a few questions– did they make any I. rexes before this? What happened to them– were they not big and scary enough? Has there been some sort of a “refinement process” that ended in the I. rex we see today, and that gave them a final product without too many horrific genetic mutations? How long has this I. rex project really been in development, and could it have been a secret project (maybe led by Hoskins) that they just decided to put on display as a cover for their real intentions? Or did they just make two first drafts as backup? I would love to hear more about this, but unfortunately this is all we get. I’ll investigate this further in a different post.


And now we get the good, clean, family-friendly violence. This guy, whose name is Hamada and who’s basically Muldoon 2.0, gets picked up by the I. rex and tossed into the air like a Hacky Sack. (It may or may not be him– opinions vary– but judging by the context I’m assuming this is who it is.) That’s not I. rex’s jaws in that picture, that’s one of her hands. This dinosaur is so, so awesome! She’s got not one but three business ends to deal with, and manual dexterity might be the factor that makes her so dangerous, especially to other dinosaurs. Speaking of manual dexterity, there’s that possible human DNA at work again. I don’t want that to be an actual thing, don’t get me wrong, but given what we’ve seen lately it’s becoming a distinct possibility.

Killing for sport

Here’s my favorite shot in the trailer. Owen says, “She’s killing for sport,” and we see this valley of dead apatosaurs. This is how we’re shown what I. rex is capable of before she starts attacking humans, and boy is it effective. Have you ever seen a recreation of an apex predator/ apatosaur fight? In Dinotasia, a similar sauropod breaks an allosaur’s jaw with one swipe of its whiplike tail. Sauropods are not entirely docile creatures and not to be messed with. And here’s an entire herd of them, just lying there dead. This thing kills fast, effectively and brutally– note the neat grass and few signs of a struggle. Speaking of which, there’s eerily little blood present here. Maybe I. rex kills by snapping necks with her jaws or hands? I feel like there’d be a few more pools of blood if she bit her victims and waited for them to bleed out like Giganotosaurus did, but maybe she does, or even sucks the blood out of their bodies before they can even hit the ground. I have a feeling that this scene is going to be very, very scary.

Also, there’s an animatronic apatosaur somewhere in this scene. Spot the practical!


As we saw in the Pterodactyl toy and Lego sets, some ACUs (possibly including Masrani) try to shoot down the pterodactyl horde and instead get attacked by one. Unfortunately, we are not provided footage of the blessed event. Nothing to see here, folks.


Another I. rex chase scene and another explosion. This one looks pretty CGI to me, but I’m sure some things will be adequately blown sky-high during the film. I rex has camouflaged to a gentle, speckled gray, much like a Lipizzan horse or a little European starling. How delicate.

u messed up

Behold the look of despair on the face of a human being who knows she done #^*$ed up. She may be in some enclosure, but I can’t tell for sure; anyway, this is pretty far into the movie. She’s filthy, her clothes are in a state of ruin and, horror of horrors, her makeup is slightly smudged. The popular opinion is that she’s just finished with luring the T. rex out of its pen in this shot, and maybe here she’s collapsed in exhaustion as Rexy goes out in search of the %^#&% who dissed her.


We are treated to the sight of I. rex roaring directly into our faces. By the looks of it, she’s all up in the aviary and it’s lunchtime. I wonder if she followed the flock there after the main street attack, or if she was the one who broke in and let them all out? I figured she’d be the catalyst for the attacks beginning, but I didn’t know she would physically rip down walls and set her sisters free. Viva la I. rex revolution! Her mouth seems to be open at sort of a wide angle; could she have her jaw unhinged? I would think she wouldn’t pull that out until snack time, but she is a hunted and chased animal and who knows what a scared animal will do to intimidate possible attackers. Also, that honeycomb design on the walls seems, uh, a tad impractical. You’ve got relatively small dinosaurs with long claws on their feet and perfectly dextrous forearms, so of course you’ve got to put them in a wide-holed enclosure. No way could those giant holes work as footholds or handholds, no siree. I’m beginning to think these scientists designed half of this park with the sole intention of courting danger, because at this point it seems like they’re just asking for it.

Good luck with that

Finally, we see the pterandon attack scene again, this time with a new shot of Owen added. He’s looking very clean– maybe this scene takes place near the beginning of the second act?–  and oddly eyebrowless, and he’s trying to take down an enormous flock of Hitchcock’s pterodactyls alone with a single rifle. Yeah, good luck with that, dude.

So that’s the end of the trailer. If it was at all possible, this got me even more hyped up for Jurassic World. The dinosaur attacks are looking more and more fantastic, the I. rex is getting scarier and anticipation is building. This opened up a lot of questions– mostly about the I. rex and in what order these events happen– that I’m itching to know more about. These questions also include what Claire is wearing on her face. Seriously, that woman does not smudge. #PrayForClaire’sMakeup

Unrelatedly, we have a new picture of a Jurassic World bed set:

CBHfbiJUkAAerLf.jpg large

Go to sleep every night and wake up every morning with a raptor staring into your face– that’ll give you some pleasant dreams! But seriously though, I’m definitely getting this. It’s the final step in turning my room into a cold, dark cove of inescapable Jurassic Park.


Wait, never mind, I’ll take ten.


4 thoughts on “New TV Spot

  1. That Malcolm photo manip killed me.

    I wanted to write a post on this trailer, but I didn’t think it had enough new dinosaur action in it for me to really talk about, and decided to just leave it to you. Great as always.


  2. Where do i get those sheets? Seriously I want those sheets, I’ve seen pictures but I can’t actually find where I can buy them.


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