New Dinosaurs and Kids on the Official Site

Jurassic World just refuses to give us a break, and I love it. Right after that epic trailer yesterday, a couple of new things have been added to the official website! This includes two– technically three– new dinosaur designs.

Pachy

To be totally honest, as good as this animal looks, I liked the Lost World coloration better. It just seems a little weird to see them white and brown like this. Nonetheless, on its own it’s a good design; I like the little speckles down its tail. Now that I think about it, I wonder if it’s possible that the new coloration is due to its genes being tampered with for a certain reason. Could the scientists have toned down the aggression level in pachys– let’s face it, they were pretty violent in Lost World— and changed their skin color as a coincidence?

Para

Well, I was wrong in “Might Be a Dinosaur Leak”… heh. Oops. Anyway, I am in love with this design. The green on the crest not only looks good but seems like it wold be really useful for display, the patterns on the skin are so varied and complex and it has enough meat on its bones to look like it isn’t starving. The world needs more chubby hadrosaurs, and I’m really glad to see this one.

parasaurolophus-info-graphic

I just want to hug it and name it Meatball.

cries

Please allow me to demonstrate what a Parasaurolophus cry might sound like. *ahem*

“MMMMMWWWUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”

Finally, we have a Velociraptor page!

raptor

The page says the raptors are not on public display and that they’re in a restricted area. We’re compensated with a picture of their enclosure, complete with a couple of very apparent raptor muzzles:

velociraptor-attraction-box
*sigh*

claws

Delta_Loose
DO THEY REALLY?!

In addition to that, there’s a new section on the website just for kids!

kids rule

Well, every law of canon and every parents’ watchdog group you can think of says that kids are the only people in these movies who absolutely cannot die. That does rule.

You can download coloring pages, crosswords and word searches! Um, excuse me for a little bit. I need to sit here with these papers and– do something mature and adult. I’m not coloring, I’m filing taxes. Yeah.

coloring
Did I do it right?

DNA

Hey, they got rid of Mr. DNA’s pink and orange circles! He’s colored wrong! They can train the raptors, they can capture the T. rex and put her in a zoo, they can make genetic freak dinosaurs and set them against explosions, but the day they take our Mr. DNA is the day we riot.

dinosaur

Because if there’s one thing Jurassic World will ultimately teach us, it’s that creating your own dinosaur is a great idea.

inches

Better pray those are a really, really thick few inches, kids.

kids-in-creation-lab

The caption says these kids are in the creation lab. I’m trying to figure out what exactly is reflected in that glass- maybe just a guy in a lab coat, but I’d still like to know. Also, that boy behind the short blonde girl looks really, really high.

That’s all I’ve got, but feel free to check it out here: http://www.jurassicworld.com/kids/

Edit: Thanks for the tip-off, CJCroean1393– there are a few new attraction pages too! For instance, the Aviary:

aviary-entrance

range

Have you ever had to watch Dora the Explorer or something with a little kid and actually paid attention to the plot for a minute or two? You know how the characters are so oblivious to the blindingly obvious, and it just drives you crazy? How the big bad wolf or whatever could be sneaking up from behind on a character, and they say stuff like, “I sure am glad the big bad wolf is gone! Yep, no big bad wolf around here!” and it just bugs you on some level, but it keeps going until you just want to yell something at the TV but you know it won’t do anyone any good because all you could say was something that was already painfully obvious? That’s kind of how I feel when I read stuff like this.

fish

“Although if you or anyone else in your party would like to arrange a pterodactyl-related Disney death, we have offered that service in the past.”

There’s the largely unremarkable Bamboo Forest:

Buddha

Before I make a joke, let’s just acknowledge for a minute how hilarious this is on its own. OK? OK. Possible offerings include trained fleas, tiny elephants and putting his name on your headstone.

A golf course page:

golf

Another analogy might be that this is like watching the drawn-out climax of a sports movie. You know Chad is gonna make the touchdown, you know it’s gonna work out and the team will win by just one point and it’ll be a huge unforgettable victory. But the movie still shows everyone’s reactions as the ball moves in super-slow-mo and it still keeps you waiting for something you know will happen, and it just drives you crazy. That’s what this is like.

golf-green

Wow, that’s a really big water hazard on the right. That seems a little excessive.

Finally, there’s a Botanical Gardens page:

acres

colorful-plants

*sound of Ellie Sattler getting on the Nublar boat at a speed previously unknown to humankind*

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