Everything I Got Wrong About Jurassic World

Time for a long, long post! I do apologize for the break in posting, but now that there isn’t exactly a flood of Jurassic World news, I’m gonna have to start on a schedule of posting every few days instead of daily.

Up until a little more than a week ago, the primary purpose of this blog was to speculate about Jurassic World and what would happen in it. And boy, I did a lot of speculating. Some of my guesses were hits and some were misses. Well, actually the majority of my guesses were misses. Here, starting roughly at the beginning of The Jurassic Adventures of Raptor Dash’s archive and ending at the point where I pretty much gave up on guessing because the movie was coming out so soon, is everything I got wrong about Jurassic World, and a few things I got right. I should point out now that there were no wild raptors in the movie—if I addressed every single time I speculated about those, we’d be here all night.

That right there is an albino dinosaur […] Maybe that’s its ‘in-between setting’ for when it’s not camouflaging to match anything […]  it’s appropriately fearsome and looks part- allosaur, part-giganotosaur and part- carcharodontosaur. Lego Dinosaurs Leaked

I was right about the color thing, but wrong about the genetics. I would’ve been right if Allosaurus, Carcharodontosaurus or Giganotosaurus were abeliosaurs, but unfortunately they are not. I still think she looks like a Giganotosaurus in a few ways, though.

Futuristic pod-monorail things! Jurassic World Website, Part 2

You guys remember what this was like? Knowing so little about the movie that we didn’t even know the names of the Gyrospheres? Whew.

I guess we know where that shot of the fallen East Dock sign came from now. Looks like they found that Barbasol can after all, or at least went looking for it.

Sadly, we didn’t end up getting any Barbasol can action. With the merchandising tie-in you’d think that Barbasol would shell out a couple million to promote their product in a franchise where fans would actively want their product placement, but I guess that’s their loss. Maybe Trevorrow knew it would never happen and wanted to give a previous-movie shoutout that he knew wouldn’t end up in the final film.

 If there’s a spino in the movie, maybe it’ll be aquatic.

The fact that Trevorrow didn’t put a Spino in the movie, aquatic or not, proves to me that there actually is some inherent good in mankind.

Second, Pratt has said in the past that his character was a cross between Malcolm and Grant, and I see that now, along with a pinch of Muldoon. He might not be too original, but hey, we loved those three characters. If they’ve got a winning formula, why not use it? WE’VE GOT A FULL-LENGTH TRAILER!

Looking back on this, I think Owen was a lot more Muldoon and more Grant, and less Malcolm, than we expected. His hitting on Claire and speeches about the impossibility of dinosaur control were about where the Malcolm ended; the way he feared and respected the animals was very Muldoon, and his sheer enthusiasm for dinosaurs (especially since his specialty was raptors) and how he looked at things realistically and from the animals’ perspective, was the Grant part of the equation. He was Muldoon enough to realize that his raptors were dangerous animals and to know how they behaved, but Grant enough to love and accept them for what they were.

(Referring to an I. rex chase) Is she trying to eat one of the movie’s obligatory kids? Is that the older brother with the Bieber cut running from her?

Nope, she was trying to eat Owen, although my guess was accurate later on in the movie. Also, both boys had Bieber cuts, just in different lengths.

And then, oh look, another throwback. This time it’s to the tent scene in The Lost World; Gray appears to be in a tent, and the shadow of a large, growling animal falls over his face. 

This refers to the scene that we now know involves the boys hiding with Owen in a gift shop. I think there was really only one major Lost World reference in the whole movie (Barry hiding in a log as Blue attacked); given the general public’s view of Lost World, I can’t blame Trevorrow for not bringing it up a lot.

Could… could it be? Do I dare to believe? Is that a Malcolm cameo by a different actor? 

It was not—the guy I was referring to was actually the boys’ father— and I’m still a little conflicted about whether or not I would have been okay with this. All in all, the book cameo was a good compromise. It seemed like a way of telling us that Malcolm was doing fine (and probably rolling in cash) in-universe without dragging him kicking and screaming into another dinosaur incident. I would have loved to have seen him in JW, of course, but not played by someone other than Goldblum. (Amusingly enough, the night after I saw JW for the first time, I had a dream about that very thing happening.)

[…] what if a portion of the sharks that they manufacture is released into the wild, and Jurassic World is helping to rebuild the world’s great white population? What if the conservation side effect of that facility helped convince the government that Jurassic World was a good idea, and excused the fact that the park actively feeds members of an endangered species to one of their animals? New Jack Horner Interview

This would have been pretty cool if it were made canon—if Masrani is such a philanthropist and he’s the only one in the world with advanced cloning technology, he could at least do one little thing to help the environment outside of Nublar—but it wasn’t. In fact, last I checked, people were still whining about the shark-eating scene. I love animals and support conservation, and even I don’t think that one portrayal gives harmful messages about great whites. What, is someone going to see the movie and decide to imitate it by killing a great white and feeding it to their mosasaur?

 I wonder if this means Tim was involved in the creation of the park after all, like some people have speculated? Another Hammond Statue?

For all that the movie had, it was sorely lacking in the Tim department. Some believe this was a good thing.

[On the rumor about I. rex having human DNA] This has to be fake. Whoever wrote this must be messing with us, because this doesn’t make any sense. If it is real, though— which is very unlikely—wow. The plot just thickened.More About the Story/ What?

I don’t know if I was wrong or right about the human DNA, because it was never confirmed or denied; the fact that Indominus had thumbs and her primate-like problem-solving hint toward this rumor being true, but since the movie never even brought up the possibility, it’ll probably be the subject of many, many arguments to come. So I can’t tell you if Nuke the Fridge was messing with us. Sorry.

https://raptordash.wordpress.com/page/13/

Some pictures of napkins and paper plates from a Jurassic World party set or something were leaked recently. They showed the I. rex, Dimorphodon and Pteranodon. The design on the first two was…  well, amazing. The I. rex looked incredible. Incredible. It even had feathers, guys. Not many, but feathers. I. Rex Leaks

Yeah, remember when that went down? I did make a bit too big of a deal about it when it happened because I love to sit back and watch chaos/ riots/ ****storms unfold, but it was still a big part of the leadup to the movie and thus has its place in the history books. Also, I did not notice a single feather on the movie’s finished Indominus.

There’s no mention of plesiosaurs anywhere on the website or in the leaked brochure, but the plot of the entire movie does revolve around the fact that the park’s scientists are creating entirely new dinosaurs in their lab that no one else knows about. Keeping the Rumor Train Chugging

This was referring to the vaguely-identified source who told Sickle_Claw on JPLegacy a few details that he claimed to have gotten from seeing the unfinished movie. The source’s account was hotly debated at the time, with some people believing him totally and others scoffing. We now know that the guy was completely and utterly full of crap. Not a single thing he said was true; that doesn’t upset me, but it is nice to clear that up in retrospect. If things were more exciting in this fan community, I’d think it was a rival fandom pulling one over on us. Do we even have rival fandoms?

omfg

New Toy/ Another Trailer Leak; The Plot Thickens

*sigh*

[about I. rex] Wow, I thought she’d have a paddock, but apparently she’s the center of an arena attraction. I. Rex is Official/ LEGO game/ Jake Johnson Speaks

Nope, she had a paddock, the exterior of which would have looked like an arena had it ever been completed. An arena show probably would have been the next step, though. Man, and we thought I. rex’s life sucked the way things were. Can you imagine if the poor animal had had to perform for people on top of everything else she went through?

[…] absolutely no dinosaur will ever be cooler than T. rex in this franchise. Sorry, it’s just never gonna happen.

One thing I did not and will never get wrong. (Or at least that I didn’t get wrong until Blue showed up.)

Hopefully they let the poor animal out for exercise sometime when there aren’t visitors gawking at her. That or, even in-universe, it’s pretty much a foregone conclusion that she’ll break out at some point.

Well, the only exercise the poor animal ever got was chasing Owen and Unfortunate Portly Man #1, and Masrani did have a foregone conclusion that something was going to break out sometime or another, so I guess I was sort of right. It’s kind of funny how my sympathy for I. rex and ability not to hate her as a villain was high at around this point, it got lower and lower until after I saw the movie, and now it’s spiking again. I’ve noticed a similar trend with a lot of other people, too.

(Can we nickname her Indy? I would really like if we could all get together and decide to nickname her Indy.)

Happily enough, that’s I. rex’s most popular nickname right now!

Since we’ll need to do a lot of reality-facing if this turns out to be canon, I might as well talk about what Stegoceratops in the movie might imply. Obviously it would have to be created by the same scientists who made D. rex, and probably with the same intentions. Either that or it’s a failed genetic experiment, a splicing mistake that came to be before they perfected DNA mixing. If it’s the second, it’ll probably break out of its containment/enclosure and get its revenge on the scientists, driving home the movie’s moral–  come on, can you see this animal’s story arc ending any other way? I can also kinda see Owen finding this hidden away in a lab, and that being the moment he realizes that messing with DNA is never OK, or whatever. However it turns out, this animal doesn’t look like it lives a pleasant life. I have a feeling it’s some kind of representation of the darker side of Jurassic World. Hero Masher Pictures

I was totally right about Owen finding Stegoceratops (or at least a representation of it) hidden away in a secret lab, and it was made by the same people who created I. rex, so hooray! Unfortunately or fortunately depending on who you ask, Stegoceratops didn’t make it into the movie in the flesh—Trevorrow says he was planning to put it in, as a failed hybrid living in the Restricted Zone, until his son convinced him that it was a bad idea—and it didn’t go on a rampage and symbolically destroy stuff. However, there are always sequels, and I. rex’s story arc definitely involved a rogue hybrid destroying the evil corporations that gave it its painful existence. It wouldn’t be too out-there for that to happen again.

For instance, someone just felt like it was really, really necessary for us all to sit down and watch the goings-on at Maintenance Alley 6. More Website Features

I may be wrong, but the second time I saw JW, I realized something—they probably included a maintenance alley on the park-cam rotation because Claire, Owen and the boys were in a maintenance alley right after the Main Street attack. The scene where Owen backed up the car took place in one, and Claire and Owen might have driven through one on their way to pick up the boys. One of those was likely #6.

Oh boy, an aquatic park! I bet Mosasaur really likes that big dinner tray the park designers made her. I’m waiting with bated breath for I. rex to slash the line and eat the gondolas like the Grinch gathering Christmas wreaths, and does this aviary thing mean there’ll be a novel-like aviary scene to go with the waterfall scene? I really hope so.

Although every single one of these is a beautiful concept and I would have cried if I’d seen them in the final picture (we didn’t even see the inside of Aquatic Park, and Mosasaur definitely didn’t have her snacky time there; I find this the greatest injustice) they simply were not meant to be. Also, I seem to have forgotten when I wrote this that we did get an aviary scene straight from the first novel—it was in JP3. Oops.

That’s a really clear expression, I wonder if she has a wide range of facial expressions– and if that could come from human DNA. Super Bowl Trailer

I. rex didn’t seem to have any distinct facial expressions other than the one she pulled at the end of Claire and Masrani’s viewing scene. That doesn’t necessarily rule out the possibility of human DNA, but it makes it less plausible considering that even the raptors could make several facial expressions. But then again, that could just be because the skin on I. rex’s face was stretched within an inch of its life. She was so shrink-wrapped I’m surprised she could even dislodge her jaw.

Again, it’s cool if she’d rather be indoors, but I hope it’s not a big plot point that she’s prissy.

Claire wasn’t any prissier than she needed to be, and there was really only one comment made about her disdain for the outdoors, thank God.

In that case, someone will probably have to go after an escaped Mosa in the movie, and they’ll have to do it somewhere bigger than her tank. I assume that means she’ll get into the ocean… Katie McGrath, Mosasaur Toy & I. Rex’s Mommy Issues

Even more sadly than the Aquatic Park letdown, Mosasaur did not swim off to find brighter horizons like some kind of unspeakably terrifying Free Willy.

[About a raptor picture in a JW gift shop] The trained raptors are clearly featherless and I doubt they’d put photos of wild Nublar or Sorna raptors in their gift shop, so what is this? Either time will tell or I have a severe lighting-related wishful thinking problem.

Today I found out that I have a severe lighting-related wishful thinking problem.

If [Masrani is] a rich playboy who flies helicopters like a maniac, is full of himself and likes to prance around in designer suits because he can’t help being fabulous, I am positively floored because, not only will we have a human villain to hate instead of focusing on how EVIIIIL the I. rex is, he won’t be a Hammond expy like I feared. He’ll be a unique character– an insufferable character, but a unique one. Simon Masrani: A Profile

I was right about everything except Masrani being full of himself (as far as we know) and being the main villain. He flies helicopters like a maniac indeed, which I’ve gotta say I’m glad made it to the final film. By the way, please click on that link, because I can’t be the only one who ever notices the amber ring thing.

I’m being cautiously optimistic for now, but as always, things can change. (If they do, please please please let T. rex beat both I. rex and Spino in a 2-against-1 fight. I would love that more than words can say.) Better Toy Photos

Well, I mean, T. rex sorta did

But we now know that at some point, Mosa will probably have an all-access pass to the entire park and will be dining on rich people until her monstrous tummy has all its yum-yums. Meet Vic Hoskins

No giant mosasaur tummy yum-yums— truly, the most wasted potential in the entire film.

My personal guess is that he’ll go one of two ways. Either he’ll try to steal a dinosaur and take it to the mainland/ sell it/ genetically alter it in drastic ways (less likely) or he’ll be so enamored with defending the dinosaurs that he’ll even kill people to keep the animals safe […] Oh, and let’s not kid ourselves: he’s dino chow.

Guess I was right the first time.

For the sake of time and unnecessary worrying, let’s just assume that this is the least disgraceful option possible—that the headgear is only for transporting the animals and they aren’t lead around like dogs with muzzles on, or wearing some sort of Raptor Google Glass high-tech headgear. Toys, Toys Everywhere (Yes, There Are Legos)

I’m pretty happy that, of all the things that the black harnesses on the Lego raptors’ heads could have been, they only turned out to be cameras. I mean, we saw the raptors getting immobilized and muzzled for a good few minutes, and as a fan of the wild, murderous raptors in the first and second movies, that really got my goat. But at least it wasn’t terrible. At least they didn’t have to run around with their jaws clamped shut.

I know I’ve said this before, but enjoy this post while it’s up, folks; if I’m ever getting C&D’d for a post, it’s gonna be this one. Jurassic World Costumes

Welp, that didn’t end up happening either.

As you can see in the bottom left corner, someone’s activated the park system’s master control. Something’s telling me Owen did that, and really, I can’t see that turning out well. Either the hero of the movie will just get into the computer system and automatically know what to do to re-contain the dinosaurs and/ or save the day, or we’ve got an animal trainer who seems to have little to no experience running every system in the whole park, and things can pretty much only go downhill. New Jurassic World Pictures!

The “master control” thing must have just been a background thing, because it was never brought up; considering that the screenshot I discussed here was from the scene where everyone in the control room watches the ACUs get eaten, it may have had something to do with Vivian putting out a park-wide alert. Anyway, no hacking was involved, though I really would love it if Lowery was a hacker. Heck, he operates computers all day and he’s easily the biggest nerd on the island—there’s no way to prove he doesn’t play around with old UNIX systems in his free time.

Let’s see, we’ve got a carnivore with a high aggression index that definitely eats terrestrial animals and not fish, is tall enough to wade through deep water and who probably isn’t allowed to kill the herbivores around it for food… oh, I know, let’s put it in the one place guests can get really close to dinosaurs without any fences! New Jurassic World Dinosaurs & New Masrani Video

Since I wrote this, I’ve pretty much accepted the explanation that there was secure invisible-fence technology between kayakers and dinosaurs, and I’ve also pointed out that apatosaurs could freely wade through the water, as close to visitors as they wanted. Neither of those matters now, because the only look at the Cretaceous Cruise that we saw in the movie was the two-second shot from the trailer—and what a cop-out that was, huh? I’d still like to find out how they kept guests safe from Metriacanthosaurus, Suchomimus and Baryonyx, though, and why those carnivores were even there in the first place. (Probably because they were scavengers and only there to pick off dead herbivores, although that would raise the question of why there were lots of corpses to be disposed of in the first place. But the issue was never addressed in canon, so it’s an argument that I’m looking forward to listening to for the next few years.)

Wiesner, by the way, is the CFO of the company. Some are saying he’ll show up in the movie, but nobody knows for sure at the moment. More Masrani News

Weisner didn’t show up in the movie, but he was originally set to. A few months ago, someone posted on Wikipedia that Weisner was supposed to be played by James DuMont. What role the CFO of the company could possibly have played that Masrani couldn’t, I have no idea, but that’s probably why the part was cut.

I think Hoskins might have had the idea to train raptors for his own ~sinister reasons~ and just got Owen and Omar to do it for him. I’m fairly sure he’s planning something, being the villain and all, that involves using raptors as weapons and that’s fairly nasty. Maybe the raptor training is what the mysterious Project IBRIS from the Masrani site is. Also, maybe Hoskins will get eaten because he underestimated the raptors’ relationship with Owen, or because he saw them as controllable machines instead of volatile wild animals (a major theme from the first movie), or even thought they were stupid (in a way similar to Nedry.) Calling it now– the raptors will take him down somehow. Omar Sy: Raptor Guy

Aww yeah! Called all of it! We never got confirmation as to what Project IBRIS was, but I called the rest!

Perhaps it’s actually intended for their well-being; dinosaurs might still be coming down with ancient diseases, and park management could be hiding this fact from the public.Random News: Henry Wu: The Comeback Tour Edition

This was in regard to a Masrani update about InGen making new discoveries in the field of ancient diseases. As it turns out, paleopathology had nothing to do with the story line. I can’t imagine how they’d fit that into the movie anyhow.

Now this is really starting to excite me, if it means what I think it does. If the boys– AKA potential I. rex chow– head back to the new park after tromping around in the jungle (where we know I. rex goes at some point), that means she will in all likelihood follow them back. Pair that with a fence that’s at least temporarily non-electric and the fact that this is far enough into the movie that Claire’s probably already released the T. rex, and we’ve got a mid-park T. rex/ I. rex showdown. “Major Leakage

Well, I was sorta right about this. We did get a mid-park showdown (which I’d hoped for since it was officially confirmed that the two of them would fight) but Rexy didn’t get to tromp around the Restricted Zone until the very end. I would be disappointed by this if her entrance in the final fight scene wasn’t so unspeakably epic.

Look at these children. They have just been attacked by an enormous, mutant monster. They nearly got ripped apart, and look at them now, they’re injury-free and clean as whistles. Some New Pictures

This still bothered me in the final film. I realize now why Claire was the only member of the main group to get really dirty or torn-up— it was symbolic because she represented the park, and as Jurassic World fell to pieces, so did her appearance—but the boys and Owen looked like they’d just been out for a short jog and they’d gotten slightly inconvenienced, causing them to sweat a lot but not much else. I mean, the boys crawled around in mud at one point and they still looked, at worst, like a couple of kids who’d played outside for a little too long.

We’re pretty much in agreement that the visitor’s center is getting attacked at some point, presumably with lots of visitors inside, right? Now look at the design of the VC in that picture. It looks kind of like an ancient Mayan pyramid where humans were sacrificed. Hmm. New TV Spot

Nobody died in the Innovation Center in particular—although the pteranodon attack took place very, very close to it—but I still think the Mayan pyramid thing was kind of intentional.

How long has this I. rex project really been in development, and could it have been a secret project (maybe led by Hoskins) that they just decided to put on display as a cover for their real intentions?

Given the mysterious nature of Wu and Hoskins’ relationship, I don’t think it’s too far-fetched that this is true. It’s a little suspicious that Henry gave I. rex the exact genome that would make her into an ideal weapon; sure, there was adequate justification for adding cuttlefish and tree frog DNA, but he used the exact species that would produce those results and give him a justifiable reason for adding them (he could’ve added the cuttlefish DNA for the camouflaging ability but told Masrani that he added it to help I. rex withstand accelerated growth, even though lots of other species grow up quickly). Pair that with Wu’s line about a “deal” with Hoskins, and it’s most likely that Hoskins made a deal with Wu, and Wu built a dinosaur specifically to be weaponized and just let her be displayed as an attraction for the time being.

11079600_1577960985799059_8809542182333244349_n (1)

Buckle Up, It’s Merchandise Time

It was never directly addressed in the movie and we didn’t see a lot of Henry Wu’s lower half, so I’m not sure if he actually has one foot or not. Maybe he just wears a really good prosthetic.

Other than the fact that Claire and Owen will be awkwardly paired together in the movie and turn out to like each other in the end despite their differences (like two of your friends on a blind date that you set them up on both telling you that the other is a very nice person through a forcibly polite smile, or two Barbie and Ken dolls’ faces being shoved together) Books and Eggs

Some may disagree with me, but I think I was wrong about this, and for that I am truly grateful. Do Claire and Owen have a ship name yet? Is it called “Gradearing” now or is someone gonna come up with something more clever?

I’m really conflicted here. Is he a good person that just sort of acts creepy in this scene? Jurassic World Clip Analysis

Thankfully, I was right about this, and the clip did make a lot of sense in context. With the rest of the movie in mind, it didn’t seem nearly as creepy or uncomfortable—just showing another side of Owen’s character that we didn’t really get to see for the rest of the film. I’m glad the production team didn’t cut this because of everyone’s complaining at the time it came out, because it helps develop Owen and sets up the romance arc in a fairly nice way.

So the two people in this movie that for all intents and purposes will fall in love by the end… have already dated and found that they’re incompatible? I mean, it was only one date, but did they really spend a couple of hours together once and decide that they can’t stand each other?

I probably should have mentioned this by now, but in Jurassic World Builder, it’s revealed somehow that Hoskins sabotaged their relationship. (Also that Owen spent time in military prison once, a reason for which is not provided.) I can’t source that because I’m going off the word of a JPLegacy member in a thread that’s probably gone now, but if you have JWB on your phone, you’ll see what I’m talking about.

I’m calling it now, by the way– at the end of the movie, they’ll have lots of fun on their “second date” and Claire will laugh giddily as she does something only slightly spontaneous. Perhaps Owen will make a Pratt face and say, “Well, um, that’s a start.” I’m serious. I will put actual money on this happening.

Not only am I glad that that didn’t happen—the resolution they got was both sweet and open-ended (which, since Alan and Ellie’s ended that way in the first movie too, probably means that Claire will be off somewhere having 2 kids with some other guy in the next movie, but I digress)—but it looks like I’ve lost some money.

I’d like to make another bet: she’ll have the best and most quoted one-liners in the movie.

Sadly, even though Claire gets the title for doing the coolest and most memorable stuff in the movie, Gray was the one who probably said the things everyone will remember.

The guy in the Alan Grant hat looks like Hammond but will probably end up being another paleontologist expy (like Richard Burke to the real-life Robert Bakker); I feel like they’ll make a few scientific community in-jokes with him. Random News: Entertainment Weekly Edition

The guy I was referring to here was a veterinarian guy from Jurassic World Builder, and I don’t think we saw him in the movie at all. I guess we’re past the stage where Jack Horner needs to knock on his scientific opponents in the JP movies and/ or include characters that are obvious expies of himself, and instead we’re in an era where having him appear in the movies himself is the only way to sate the monstrous appetite of Horner’s ego.

Maybe they’re engineering some next-generation, “better” raptors for easier training like Wu mentioned in the first book? This is really strange and I’ll be looking further into it for sure. Posters, Sorta Trailer & Lego Screenshots

This was referring to a screenshot from Jurassic World Builder, showing Henru Wu in his secret lab, showing off a raptor with some sort of weird feather arrangement on the back of its head. Aside from the fact that I could not shut up about wild raptors these past few months, I don’t think it would be necessary for Wu to do what I described here anyway. He’s got his perfect weapon, his smaller Indominus, finished and ready to go. There wouldn’t be any need to work on raptors.

What I think they may be referring to is an unconfirmed, random rumor that some members of the Raptor Squad go rogue and start attacking people. I think they’re saying that those raptors are communicating with the I. rex and they’re in league together. The Best Jurassic World Trailer: An Analysis

Couldn’t have said it better myself, Past Raptor Dash.

that raptor [the one that jumps on the man in the back of the MVU] does look an awful lot like Charlie. I don’t know why a Raptor Squad raptor would suddenly turn on people, but I would venture to guess that coming into contact with wild dinosaurs– either the escaped I. rex or wild raptors– causes them to go crazy somehow.

I was right about the contact with an escaped I. rex and that that caused them to go crazy, and it was Charlie who jumped on that guy! Two in one!

[Masrani is] Not exactly the type of person to try to killpeople rather than let his assets be destroyed, but the sort of person who’ll sit around while he makes everyone else do the dirty work (based on how we’ve never seen him out of the control room in any trailer). He may not be evil per se, but if it’s a couple of people getting eaten over one of his expensive dinosaurs escaping, he’s just shown himself to favor the former. Indominus Rex Clip

This is true, but I was only partially right about it because this is the beginning of Masrani’s character arc, and he changes into someone a lot more sympathetic over the course of the story.

Second, predatory animals tend to learn that living things like humans can be caught and eaten– it’s typically not an innate thing. If these raptors were bred by scientists and raised in captivity– and therefore didn’t have other raptors as parent figures– then somewhere along the line they had to learn that humans are tasty and easily killed. Extended Footage Description

Well, they sure as heck were taught on a regular basis that pigs were easy to hunt and kill, and humans always stayed on the catwalks above them and were afraid to go near them, so maybe the raptors didn’t need parents who weren’t raised in captivity. They learned that humans were easy to eat by themselves, the smart little buggers.

You know, right now I think he sounds a little annoying, but when the movie comes out I’ll probably refer to Gray as “my sweet, fragile child” like I tend to do with the first two movies’ kids, so disregard my opinion. More New Photos & Ty Simpkins Interview

Yep, pretty much. That kid was so cute it just destroyed me.

Stego is the eaten sibling referenced in the Super Bowl trailer. A Jurassic World Info-Dump

Nope, not true at all. We even saw I. rex’s doomed baby sister hatching in the beginning of the movie, and it had a very distinct Indominus hand. And considering that both I. rexes were backup in case the other didn’t make it to adulthood, it wouldn’t have made sense if Stegoceratops was the sibling anyway. (Hey, the movie only said that Indominus made it past infancy, not that she made it to adulthood, and Wu said in his first scene that she wasn’t fully-grown. Does that mean that everything I. rex did was because she was an angsty, misunderstood teenager?)

Wait, so humans are playing the T. rex? And does this mean there’s more than one rex?! 

Nah. Rexy reigns supreme. And if there were wild T. rexes out on Nublar anyway, now that Rexy’s loose, I feel sorry for them.

I don’t know this for sure, but I’m imagining that he’s about to run into the raptor paddock and the raptors will excitedly run up to him and jump around and screech until he pets them, like puppies. A Bit of New Footage

Puppy raptors were not given to us in the quantities that I’d imagined. And that hurts me. It really, really hurts me.

If it’s the first case, and some members of the Squad do indeed revolt, I bet one of the first things Echo will do is attack Blue. Heck, people have guessed that Blue dies for a long time now– maybe this is how it happens (if it does happen! It’s not confirmed!). Lego’s JW Page: Backstories & Spoilers

There was, as far as we saw, no raptor infighting at all. They were a tightly-bound group of sisters who stuck together until the very end, even as their loyalties changed. But sure, it definitely wasn’t a feminist movie at all.

He’s making the same mistakes that Claire is in that he sees the dinos as just products that can be easily controlled, but I think what will put him off the edge from ‘morally dubious’ to ‘villain’ is mistreatment of the animals. If he sees the dinosaurs as just weapons and he’s generally not a friendly character, there’s a good chance that he’ll push them too far, not care when they get injured, etc., and we’ll hate him even more because the raptors he’s hurting will have names and personalities. Hoskins Revealed, Soundtrack & Brachiosaurs are Coming

Hoskins was a generally unlikeable villain and he didn’t treat the raptors nearly as kindly as Owen did. He didn’t outright abuse them, but he still saw them as nothing more than products and potential weapons, and that was what made him a villain in the end. Plus, he misgendered both Delta and Echo, and that’s a pretty rude thing to do.

I mean, it won’t be fun to watch their mother’s emotional devastation, but at least the movie doesn’t just drop their parents and run off, right? Jurassic World TV Spot 2

The movie did, in fact, just drop their parents and run off. You could even say it dumped them there and split for Paris.

Does she [Zara] live or die? Or does she die in a slightly less gory way?Random News: The Things I’ve Seen Edition

Oh boy, #Armgate again. I got a metric ton of views directed to that post from a forum where people were yelling at each other about whether or not Zara died, so I’ll clear it up just in case I get another batch. ZARA DIES.

Look at that. There’s no way that isn’t a T. rex. Those are T. rex teeth and that is a T. rex roar and that is a T. rex attacking them! 2 New Jurassic World TV Spots!

This refers to the scene where Indominus attacks Owen and Claire in the old Jeep shed. Those were not T. rex teeth. That was not a T. rex roar. That was not the T. rex attacking them.

Seeing as T. rex really only has her lunging attack to fight with and I. rex has two different fronts to attack from, it’ll be especially interesting to see how the rex fight goes down and whether or not her dextrous arms will even matter at all. TV Spot 8

Evidently Trevorrow thought the same thing I did, and that’s why Blue and Mosasaurus were in the final fight scene and fought alongside Rexy. Good on ya, Trevorrow.

Say, for all the harping on they do in this movie about “John Hammond’s dream” and “what Hammond would have wanted”, didn’t Hammond actually realize in the end that he made a mistake? Didn’t he tell Grant that he’d also decided not to endorse his park, and didn’t he explicitly say, “You were right and I was wrong” to Malcolm? New InGen Video & Awesome TV Spot Footage

Apparently I wasn’t even right about the character development in the original trilogy, because in the movie Masrani says that Hammond entrusted him with his dying vision of rebuilding the park, and even told him to spare no expense. I guess he went from capitalist to naturalist and then back to capitalist again.

Also, there’s no frog DNA involved and the animals have nearly 100% genome accuracy, but there are still no feathers?

Judging by the fact that Wu says, “if the animals’ genetic codes were pure, they would look very different” in the movie, I’m guessing this was a bit of a lie. I’d be surprised that they’d lie to the public about something like this and for seemingly no reason (or maybe because they were really invested in keeping up the idea that the public’s idea of what dinosaurs should be like, which the park catered to, was right all along) but considering how often animals broke out and they didn’t let anyone know about it, Jurassic World’s managers probably weren’t the most truthful people in the world.

Zach appears to be driving a ‘For Official Use Only’ van here. I don’t know, maybe he has to step up and be the Lex of the film? I swear, if he cracks one joke about finally getting his driver’s license…Awesome New Videos

Zach was a little bit like Lex in that he was a protective older sibling and that his ingenuity with technology saved the day (Lex with the UNIX system, Zach with the old Jeep). And he did make a drivers’ test joke. Who called it? I called it.

[…] as long as Owen isn’t standing there like, “I think I’ll go out in my TRUSTY, GERMAN-ENGINEERED MERCEDES VEHICLE to hunt that I. rex”, it shouldn’t be too much of a problem.

That didn’t happen (I mean, it probably wouldn’t anyway) but we did get a faceful of the Mercedes-Benz logo on several occasions. They just really, really felt the need to give us a front-on shot of every vehicle, just so we could see the grill and the little logo on it.

I don’t know which one this is, but if this is in the actual movie, then it might confirm my greatest dream and hope for the future. We could get a full scene of Owen raising the Raptor Squad from hatchlings and taking care of his babies from birthNew TV Spots, Clip and More of My Art

A moment of silence, please, for the fact that this never happened. Baby Indominus was a cutie pie, but ever since the first trailer came out, all that anyone’s wanted to see is Teeny Raptor Squad playing with Owen. That’s all we ever wanted, but we didn’t get it and now our souls are doomed to roam this fandom for eternity, crying out for baby raptors that will never come.

lego-1

Called Pepsisaurus, too.

And if they have the whole invisible-fence technology thing installed in both the Gyrospheres and the dinosaurs, wouldn’t some kind of warning or alarm system that they couldn’t turn off be going off above their heads by this point? More TV Spots, Holy Cow

Nope, there was no warning whatsoever (at least inside the Gyrospheres). That may have been a pretty good use of a couple thousand dollars, but those were better-spent putting plastic dinosaur heads on all the cups, I’m sure.

They’re still using the T. rex roar for Indominus. You know, we’ve already played with our Bad Boy toys and those roar, and it isn’t really a big secret what I. rex’s roar sounds like, so I’m beginning to think these scientists take notes from the Jurassic Park Lego game when it comes to their genetics strategies. Raptor Squad Clip, Among Other Things

They ended up using an original roar for I. rex in the movie. It wasn’t particularly distinctive or recognizable in the way that the T. rex roar is—if I hear Rexy’s roar in a commercial or something, I know right away it’s her, but I wouldn’t if I heard Indy’s—but at least it wasn’t a copycat.

♫♫ T. rex paddock, we’re going back to the old T. rex paddock, with the ol’ wrecked Jeeps, oh yeah ♫♫ “Lots O’ New Footage

Sadly, my song here was for naught. I said this because of a photo of old night-vision goggles and flares, but those turned out to be unused ones in the old Jeep shed, not Tim’s.

Some pterodactyls give this helicopter the business before it crashes into the aviary. I wonder if their goal was to get it there in the first place or if it was just incidental that the copter ended up there? New Jurassic World Clips & The Meme Lives

Nope, the pteranodons weren’t even attacking Masrani’s helicopter on purpose. They just kinda happened to fly up and get caught in the choppers, and they noticed after a minute that there was food in the ‘copter and casually grabbed a little snack before heading out to do some real damage.

So right now, I’m going with the assumption that he’s not shooting at the I. rexthat I. rex is not in the visitors’ center and that there will not be a re-creation of the famous VC scene from the first movie with I. rex taking Rexy’s place. I’m ignoring that possibility. Well Smack Me With a Halibut, It’s Real

There actually was a recreation of the famous original VC scene, but it took place in the original Center and it was only momentary. I mean, it was still a great insult to the Rexy loyalists out there, but it didn’t try to be more iconic or spectacular than the original. It was just a throwback.

Well, that’s pretty much the entire archive. Even though I was wrong about so many things, I really enjoyed all the anticipation that came with this movie, and it was great to look forward to it with all of you. Since this seems like an appropriate time, I’d like to make my first prediction for Jurassic Park 5. Three words: zombie Vic Hoskins.

(P. S. Lookie here. It me.)

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6 thoughts on “Everything I Got Wrong About Jurassic World

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