Jurassic Park: Myrtle Beach

That’s right, folks, it’s another post where I can show you my vacation photos and get away with it because it’s relevant to the blog’s theme! First, in case you’re not interested in seeing my vacation pictures (I wouldn’t blame you, although they are relevant to Jurassic Park, I promise) I ran into some new Jurassic World merchandise at Target the other day.

First, I saw the beginning of toy wave 2, the Dilophosaur Growler:

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All in all, unless you’re a hardcore Dilophosaur fan or you’re determined to buy every single JW toy, I wouldn’t really recommend getting this. The paint job is meh, the head sculpt is sub-par and it’s got serious frill problems. Seriously, this thing’s frill just flops around every which way– I had to lay it on its back to take this picture, because the frill just wouldn’t stay outward. It has the loosest hinges imaginable, and if you’d want to pose a Dilo, having its frill out would be pretty much a requirement. But you can’t do that with this one.

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The growling feature and the fact that you can make it spit venom might add fun points, but the overall look of the thing and the frill issue are such big problems that even I, a huge Dilo fan myself, am not going to bother with it. If they come out with a holographic Dilo toy, though, I may reconsider.

I also saw some JW tag packs:

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There’s a variety of tags to choose (or not, because they’re blindbags) from, including humans, dinosaurs and costume tags, whatever the heck those are. I didn’t buy any so I can’t give you a review, but if you ask pretty much anyone else on JPLegacy they’ll probably give you a good answer. Everyone seems to be going ape over these things. Oh well, whatever makes you happy. I also snagged one of the blindbag tubes of three mini-dinos; I haven’t taken adequately stupid pictures yet so I won’t post them, but I am now the proud owner of a teeny-tiny Dimorphodon, Pteranodon and Pachycephalosaurus (which apparently makes me a racist). I’ll get to those little guys on a slower news day.

Also, look at what the official JP page showed us the other day!!!!

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How awesome is that?! I’m so happy we got to see a high-def shot of the back cover, and I’m even more glad that the photo isn’t just a stock image from the Lost World promotional campaign! I especially love the dragon curve on the back and that he’s decided to start wearing all black again (he wore some brown and green in Lost World, which I find unacceptable). And if this is what he looks like in-universe at the time of the events, then he still looks pretty good (I know I’d have a few gray hairs if I’d gone to Sorna, but he doesn’t seem to) and it’s great to know that he’s doing okay. And probably rolling in dough, too!

The mystery of the Post-Its has been solved; it’s Lowery’s handwriting, and it looks like he took notes on the book as he read. I can see that he wrote something about hybrids, “the chaos”, and “Pepsisaurus” down. I can’t really decode the rest, so I’ll leave that to the more hardcore Lowery fans among us. Speaking of which, if anyone feels like writing a fanfic that involves Lowery being a squealing fanboy when he gets the chance to meet Malcolm, I will be forever indebted to you.

All right, here’s my Myrtle Beach adventure! The recurring theme on the trip was Being Dinosaur Trash, which I feel is adequately demonstrated by the fact that I felt the need to photograph this hotel sign:

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There was an exhibition there about animatronic, “lifelike” dinosaurs. I did not attend it, mostly because it cost $25 that I didn’t feel like coughing up, because I didn’t bring the cosplays that I’d want to take pictures in, and because I would likely have spent the entire time complaining because of how innaccurate/ shrink-wrapped the dinosaurs were.

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“Kill… me…”

But I did get a glimpse at one, namely their T. rex animatronic. I have to say, it looked so much like Rexy that I might have paid the admission price for a picture with her if I’d had my Ellie cosplay on:

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Everyone, I have a wonderful announcement to make. Friends, I have been so privileged and honored as to visit the home of the one and only Margarita Guy. Yes, I have, and the proof is before your eyes:

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This is the inside of the blessed location. I have walked in the shadow of Margarita Guy and felt the warmth of his light:

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A giant, rotating hurricane with shark fins inside, or The Most Florida Thing Ever.

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His mode of transport, akin to a magic carpet.

Fangirling aside, Margaritaville is actually the official restaurant of Jurassic World. For your enjoyment, here’s the full JW-ified menu:

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Next, I got to hit a Planet Hollywood. I know that isn’t too exciting, but I really love visiting them, it’s one of the things I get way too hyped up about. I got to see not one, but two items worn by Queen Geena Davis. I came close to touching one, and three of my most recent wounds healed instantly:

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I didn’t look at where this came from, and honestly I think it’s a lot better presented free of context:

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And I also got to see a uniform used in the beginning of the first Jurassic Park movie. I don’t know whether it was Jophery’s or not, but I could care less.

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Here’s me in front of it. I may have been crying.

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Next, I got to visit a magical place: Jurassic Golf, a Jurassic Park-themed mini-golf course. It was an awesome experience, and although the theming wasn’t everywhere, it was still fantastic.

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Spot the glaring innaccuracy, it’s fun for the whole family:

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Some dinosaurs were in better condition than others:

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“MY NAME IS RALPHIE AND I LIKE POTATO CHIPS.”

But the ones that were good were really, really good. For instance, the Dilophosaur:

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This was the centerpiece of the course, and although it didn’t move, it was downright awesome to be near:

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There was also a very cool raptor:

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I finally got the chance to Prattkeep with something! As I said, I didn’t have any JP cosplays on hand, so I just Disneybounded Lex instead and I think it turned out pretty well.

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This was the back of a “stick your face in the hole in this wall for a picture” thing, but I still like to think it was a wooden-shack bathroom:

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And, perfectly, someone put Owen’s name in the cement on the way out.

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Finally, something truly amazing happened. My mother has a super-power, and it it that she can win anything from an arcade claw machine. Seriously, the woman is uncanny. So we were looking all over for a boardwalk with arcades that she could gamble try her skills in, and we didn’t find one until a few hours before we left. But when we did find a good one, what did we see upon first walking in but a Raw Thrills JP arcade game (more on that in a minute) and this:

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Upon seeing it, I literally jumped up and down and screeched. Mom tried to grab one while I watched breathlessly. And sure enough, five tries later, look what fell into my arms:

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Her name is Indy, and she lives to snuggle kill and destroy. I will hug her and love her and name her George. She currently resides in my bed along with my Rexy and Mosa plushies, and I’ll do one of my Stupid Toy Photo Shoots once I figure out enough things to do with the three of them.

My mother also took some pictures of the screen while I was playing the Raw Thrills arcade game. Here’s the exterior of the game unit. If the pictures are a little blurry, sorry, it’s because I was so excited that I was jumping up and down, screaming loud enough to wake the whole coastline:

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It has a pretty cool console thing on the inside:

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And here’s the main control panel. Note that you’re not actually shooting the dinosaurs, you’re tranquilizing them. That sorta makes you wonder what happens to the dinos you freeze and then explode, but we’re not here for an ethics experiment:

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The game itself is tons of fun. It’s $1 a pop and 50 cents to continue a game, but it’s well worth the money. The objective is your basic “escape dinosaur island by shooting everything in the face” and the graphics aren’t legendary, but the game is so much fun that they don’t need to be. It’s a blast, plain and simple. Here are some shots from the first level, which has you evading attacks by Pteranodon, Archaeopteryx, raptors and others. This one was set in the ruins of the first park, which was awesome:

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But that’s only two levels out of, I think, somewhere around 12. I also played 2.5 of the T. rex levels, which were set on Sorna. They were even more awesome than the one I just showed you, and they included a sign that confirmed to me what kind of JP fans designed this game. The T. rex/ Spino fight is re-enacted in this one, except at the end, Rexy picks Spino up by the neck and holds her in the air, shakes her around and then throws her right off a cliff. It’s truly a thing of beauty that you need to see to believe.

Oh yeah, and there was a beach in there somewhere, too:

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