Ladies and gentlemen, it is my privilege to announce that a sequel to Jurassic World has officially been announced. The release date is June 22, 2018; Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard are set to return (although we don’t know how big their roles could be; they could star or just end up as cameos). Steven Spielberg will executive-produce, Frank Marshall is signed on and Colin Trevorrow will co-write the script with Derek Connolly.
It’s probably a bit too early to start speculating as to exactly what the movie will be about. We’ve got Claire and Owen’s presence confirmed and a distinct possibility of militarized dinosaurs (including a teeny I. rex and Stegoceratops) so that’s something to go on; we also have the whole “Apple vs. Microsoft tech race” idea and it’s almost entirely certain that the movie will involve dinosaurs on the mainland. Going off of that, there are a myriad of possibilities, all of which I have three full years to investigate and speculate about. But right now, let’s lay our bets! Hit me with your guesses about the movie in the comment section, and if you get something about the movie’s plot right, in a couple years or so there’ll be some major bragging rights available to you.
I’m putting my money on Owen going back into the military and working with militarized dinosaurs, including raptors and hybrids. He might be a project supervisor, he might train the animals or he might be fighting against the idea of dinosaurs as weapons from inside (kind of like he was at Jurassic World, except more subversive and with actual intentions to bring the system down), but I think there’ll be weaponized dinosaurs and Owen will be working with them. Claire will hopefully be more than just his girlfriend– I mean in her role, I want her to do awesome and important stuff to the plot, but it also wouldn’t hurt if the two of them were married. I think there will be a situation similar to what Biosyn wanted to do in the novels, meaning that dinosaurs will be widely commercialized and living on the mainland, but as pets, beasts of burden, zoo attractions, etc. There’ll definitely be more hybrids, including Stegoceratops, and we may even see companies creating their own dinosaur “brands” and using them as mascots. Finally, I think the movie will open with what happened a few weeks after the events of JW. I think we’ll see Claire testifying in court and giving PR speeches, and we’ll get a few shots of Lowery, Claire, Owen and the other surviving employees walking through crowds of reporters and on television.
Think I’m wrong? Think I’m right? Sound off in the comments! Or don’t; pouring out some champagne, getting a sickle claw tattoo and/ or giving the nearest dinosaur plushie a hug would also be great courses of action, because this is a time to celebrate. WE ARE GETTING A FIFTH JURASSIC PARK MOVIE!