Jurassic Park 5 News and Toys

Since the DVD and Blu-Ray of Jurassic World are now available to buy everywhere, we’ve gotten some new content, including some very interesting cast interviews! As a side note before I start in on those, on the dinosaur front, Jack Horner will be stepping down from his post at the Museum of the Rockies, and some speculate that this means he will also be resigning as the JP movies’ paleontological adviser. This is complete speculation, but not out of the realm of possibility. In the interest of avoiding the debates that usually go along with Bakker vs. Horner discussions, I won’t state my opinion one way or the other except to say: #AquaticSpino2k18.

In the way of official news, Ty Simpkins will officially return for the sequel; no word on Nick Robinson, but welcome back, Gray! I’m happier about this than I thought I would be. For one, Gray is a great character in general (and I’m eternally grateful to the producers for adding a character on the autistic spectrum to the JP movies) and if we’re going to have a “token kid” he’s the best one for the job. Also, like I said in an earlier post, I would love to see a survivor of the incident reacting to dinosaurs on the mainland, particularly a kid; he seems like a serious enough person that he’d protest mainland dinosaurs as much as he possibly could, and that could work out in a variety of ways, fame and being totally ignored being two of them. Sadly, I can most foresee his cautionary tales being overlooked, and him having to go back to normal life as a kid in a dinosaur-integrated world, being afraid of and worried about the dinosaurs that everyone else his age loves. However his arc works out, I’m very interested to see it and to find out how this awesome character develops.

Also in official news, shooting for the movie will begin in 2017, as confirmed by Bryce Dallas Howard. Two years is a pretty long wait or one that’s too short, depending on who you ask, but I have complete faith in Spielberg, Trevorrow and the others to write and finalize a quality movie script in that amount of time. Hopefully two years will be long enough for the brain trust to hone the ideas that they threw out in JW and clear out any bad ones– human-dinosaur hybrids, we’re looking at you. And according to producer Frank Marshall, it’s only one of two more sequels that are in the works, confirming Trevorrow’s earlier remark about wanting to make an entire Jurassic World trilogy. Who’d like to join me in a rousing chant of “Four more years!”?

Yesterday, a member of the JPToys forum posted something very, very interesting. It’s a list of the next wave of Jurassic World toys, which we’ve never caught wind of until this point– which is odd considering the mind-boggling speed with which the previous toys were leaked, but I digress– and it’s… well, see for yourself:

Jurassic World Alpha Cycle and Hybrid Raptor Pack -$19.99 each store will be receiving 3 on 10/30 UPC 63050946452

Jurassic World Hybrid Raptor 1 B8635 Growler -$14.99 each store will be receiving 4 on 11/5 UPC 63050946453

Basher Biters, all of the stores will be receiving 4 of each on 11/9 and they all will be 9.99 (Note that 9.99 is where my retail store has the others currently priced so no price increase)

Jurassic World Hybrid Armor Ankylosaurus B8629 Basher Biter UPC 63050945936
Jurassic World Hybrid Armor Indominus Rex B8628 Basher Biter UPC 63050945937
Jurassic World Hybrid SpinoRaptor B8633 Basher Biter UPC 63050946348
Jurassic World Hybrid Stegoceratops B8632 Basher Biter UPC 63050946349
Jurassic World Hybrid CarnoRaptor B8631 Basher Biter UPC 63050946350
Jurassic World Hybrid Dilophosaurus Rex B8630 Basher Biter UPC 63050946449

So we’re doing Chaos Effect again, huh? Went really well the last time you tried that, didn’t it, Hasbro?

Raptor-JPChaos
♫ P.S. It’s Playskool ♫

There are, once again, two possibilities here. #1 is that the brains (or lack thereof) at Hasbro decided to take the hybrid ball and run with it in a mad attempt to capitalize on anything JW following its unprecedented financial success. Considering the other pieces of new merchandise we’ve been seeing lately, this is not a far-fetched idea in the slightest.

9ghxex
I’ve never felt sadder on behalf of any other little kid in my life.

I suppose we’ll know whether this was a recent idea or not by how slapdash the toys are. If they’re gorgeous sculpts that obviously had months of effort put into them, then this was premediated and the Hybridpocalypse can begin according to prophecy. However, if they somehow manage to be even crappier than the toys we already have, then it’s likely but not certain that the sculpts were thrown together in a hasty cash grab.

I’m sure you already know the other possibility: that these are the kinds of animals we’ll be seeing in the sequel(s). Not to be a Jurassic War alarmist, but every single one of those dinosaur hybrids looks like it was specifically engineered and/or equipped for combat and killing. Obviously, if dinosaur hybrids are as widespread along the mainland as some have speculated that they will be, the herbivores that were engineered to plow fields for farmers aren’t going to be the first ones made into toys. This is a toy line that would make a Microraptor toy before it even considered making any herbivores except Stegoceratops. But the proliferation of these full-out insane carnivore hybrids worries me a bit, because c’mon, what would you mash together if you wanted a hybrid that could **** an enemy soldier up in 3 seconds flat?

So I’m not saying that a huge amount of hybrid dinosaurs in the sequels is a definite, confirmed thing– the toys could be something that Hasbro waited to drop until the movie came out on DVD for fear of leaking spoilers about the end of the movie somehow, they could be a glimpse into the future (at least the future that the script-writing team currently envisions, which could definitely change) or they’re just another yank at your wallet. Just like always, we’ll have to wait, hope and pray that we haven’t just gotten a look into the abyss of madness that will be our sequel. And I’ll have to pretend that I have no interest in stuff like the Dilophosaurus Rex while, unbeknownst to readers, I make a frantic run for my wallet and hold it tightly while its life force still resides within.

I will say one thing, though– if we’re getting Stegoceratops in the next movie for sure, it had better have a debut scene that looks like this.

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12 thoughts on “Jurassic Park 5 News and Toys

  1. I was imagining a reveal more like in The Godfather…

    Owen rolls over in bed, sees a shape next to him, and rips the covers off to reveal a severed raptor head:

    “Mickey! Noooo! I’ll get you for this, Stegoceratops, you bastard!”

    But from outside the house we hear:

    “Not this time, Mr. Grady! Ha ha ha ha!”

    As the camera then pulls back to reveal A SQUAD OF DINOSAURS IN HARRIER JETS, led by the nefarious Dr. Stegoceratops (D. Lit).

    -MJ

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    1. Fantastic! I dressed up as Claire, got a lot of compliments and half a pillowcase of candy. Didn’t see any other JW costumes, but met some cute little kids dressed as raptors. How was yours?

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      1. You know, Raptors, being warm-blooded predators and pack hunters, are natural aviators 🙂

        I dressed up at work on Friday, got a few kudos, didn’t do anything much on Saturday except going to see The Last Witch Hunter. And watched a few Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horrors. Now I’m watching Young Frankenstein.

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    1. Hmmm, I hadn’t thought of that. I assume he’ll be much more mature no matter what– stuff like what he went through would do that anyway– but I wonder if he’ll become quiet, somber, withdrawn.

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