Universal Makes Us Wail

Right at the time when we least expected it– well, we sorta did expect it, our beloved franchise has been on the up-and-up lately after all– a bunch of new, fantastic Jurassic World news has come upon us. Unfortunately, it turns out that I won’t be able to tell you about a new remake of the original film, because the article that left the fan community breathless for a few hours turned out to be a joke. I can, however, tell you that soon you may be able to visit Isla Nublar for yourself.

A lot of people were fortunate enough to visit the Jurassic Park exhibition that once toured the world and now resides in Japan. If you didn’t get that chance, now you’ll be able to see the brand-new one that will begin in Melbourne, Australia and then commence on a world tour. And this ain’t no museum exhibit, either:


That may not be the most screen-accurate Rexy ever made, but she sure is realistic and fearsome enough to convince you that she is. (You can watch her in action here.) And she’s the only member of the exhibition that we’ve seen so far, but she won’t be the only one there. We’ve also been promised:

a Pachyrhinosaurus; visit The Hammond Creation Lab; stare in wonder at a towering Brachiosaurus; get a rare up-close look at the most vicious dinosaur of them all, Tyrannosaurus rex; and learn all about top-secret projects currently in development.

Hmm, a Pachyrhinosaurus is a bit of an odd choice considering that the park already has a resident ceratopsian, but good on them for giving more of a spotlight to an often-unknown species; I also wonder why they opted for a Brachiosaurus instead of the Apatosaurus that the animatronic scene in JW made so famous, other than the obvious first-movie nostalgia factor. I also really wonder why they aren’t advertising an I. rex animatronic. It could be that they know that Rexy is an objectively more fan-favorite dinosaur, or that they’re going for a “visit the park before the events of the movie occurred” vibe, or that they’re taking one last turn through “real dinosaur” territory before the hybrid chaos of JW2 descends upon us. I would be willing to put a lot of money on one thing, though: that “top-secret project” is exactly what we’re all thinking it will be.

“Victory touuuurrrrr!”

Whether we get to see awesome sets like Wu’s secret lab or not, I. rex or not, I’m gonna run to this place so fast there’ll be a trail of fire behind me, and I think everyone who’s ever dreamed of visiting a real Jurassic Park/World will too. It’s like they know exactly where to hit us so that we’ll fork over our money, and they’re going for our wallets’ jugulars in full force this time. Um… never mind. Never mind that. I’m receiving a message from the chip implanted in me when I bought the JW DVD my heart. Go to the exhibition. Spend lots of money there. Do not question the will of the benevolent Universal.

Speaking of Universal, we’ve received word through Jurassic Park Legacy that some new JW-themed attractions for the Florida theme park may be on the way!


Now, it’s important to tread cautiously when reading this, as the only thing we’ve received absolute, drop-dead confirmation of is that there will be some sort of Jurassic World attraction added to the park at some point in the future. This list is from a fanon wiki, which means that anyone could have heard this from an employee and/or made it up, and anyone could have added it. I’m a theme park junkie at heart, though (would anyone like to mourn the fact that Toon Lagoon is apparently going to be destroyed with me? This is a difficult time), so I’m gonna buy into the hype. In case anyone’s unfamiliar, the Triceratops Discovery Trail is something that actually already exists at the park, although it’s in the form of a short walk through some greenery and a meeting with the most adorable little baby trike you’ll ever see in your life. Previously it was a full-on walk-through attraction where you could see how triceratops in the park were cared for and lived, but that was razed; apparently the park wants to restore the attraction to its former glory in the form of a water coaster. How exactly they’ll manage to make a thrilling coaster out of a triceratops hospital is beyond me, assuming they keep the original theme (will there be a sneezing trike before the final water drop, instead of a giant T. rex?) but I have complete, total, probably worrisome faith in Universal that they’ll pull it off amazingly.

The other attraction being added is Dino-Soarin’– I can smell the shade being thrown at Disney from here– which is apparently a separate concept from Pteranodon Flyers (basically a hang-gliding-like ride, for the uninitiated) and which already exists at Universal Studios Singapore. It looks like this:

02 Dino-Soarin' - A Kiddy Ride @ Jurassic Park [Universal Studios Singapore] (Custom)

Nope, I’m totally okay with that! I have no issue with that whatsoever. I don’t have a problem with the pteranodons, which have mangled wings and are nowhere near screen-accurate for any of the movies. I don’t mind at all that the ride concept is so old that the only reason even Disney keeps it is because of how famous the Dumbo ride is. T-totally fine over here with how it doesn’t live up to the name, and how easy it would be to make a motion-simulation ride where you glided along with pteranodons, possibly wreaking havoc on the park. I’m perfectly okay over here! Can’t wait to see this ride erected in Orlando! Can’t you see me smiling?!

In non-theme-park news, Universal’s Tumblr recently posted this infographic about the DNA behind the I. rex. See if you can spot the point where we all collectively stopped nodding our heads saying “Hmmm, okay” and grabbed our monitors in disbelief:




It’s not as if I’m surprised that the (possible) human DNA thing would eventually be made canon, I just didn’t expect the news to be dropped like this. (It’s entirely possible that a chimp or something was used for the opposable thumbs, but come on, do you really think a tease like that is just hiding a little bit of ape?) I’m sure Universal knows exactly what they’re doing here, I just hope they don’t think that absolutely no one will ever see this coming when it’s announced in the sequel or wherever. (But then again, this is a movie that kept in the “I. rex is part raptor” thing as a plot twist despite the fact that we all knew she was since the JoBlo leak, so maybe they do think so.) If this does in fact turn out to be a thinly-veiled reference to human DNA, then a lot of fan theorists should be patting themselves on the back right now; they sleuthed it out a long time ago.

Aside from this, I really like the implied concept of this, which is that scientists are just beginning to investigate the I. rex disaster and get to the bottom of what really happened at the Jurassic World Incident. The fact that this is branded with the JW logo and that entire opening photo makes me think that the company itself is admitting its mistakes and coming clean with what happened at the park, which in turn tells us that Jurassic World– or at least that branch of the Masrani Corp.– may still be an entity. Perhaps this will be a part of the beginning of the next film, and Claire and Owen are leading the information campaign to let the public know more about the dangers of genetic engineering. (Judging by the whole extensive hybrids-concept, though, I think we can all tell how well that plan is gonna turn out.) We’ve been wondering for a while how InGen and our heroes are handling damage control for the park disaster, and even if Universal just slapped the JW logo on there for the heck of it, this infographic is speaking volumes about how things are going in-universe.

The final thing that can be gleaned from this is that Henry Wu is no longer with the company; wherever that chopper went– *cough BioSyn cough*– it didn’t go back to InGen headquarters. I say this because scientists are decoding the genetic code rather than being told about it. If Wu was around and he was on board with the coming-clean idea along with the rest of the company, he could have just told the public where the opposable-thumb DNA came from, or he could have been easily pressured to do so. But instead, the animal’s DNA is being researched, which tells us that Henry’s out of the picture and researchers have to glean the information from themselves. Sequel-wise, I love where this is going. If he’s not with the company anymore, I can easily see him being on a rival’s side. Villain Wu, anyone?

“Yippie-ki-DNA, motherf****ers.”

4 thoughts on “Universal Makes Us Wail

    1. Yeah, and I’m surprised the DNA was used to give I. rex stronger arms instead of, you know, giant claws that could tear a person to ribbons. Perhaps that wouldn’t have been subtle enough?


    1. That’s true, it could have been troodons, and that would have gone hand-in-hand (heh heh) with the increased intelligence as well. But with the mystery surrounding it, you’re right, I don’t see it being anything but human.


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