Category Archives: Uncategorized

Claire at the Museum

On our way to a convention in Atlanta the other day, my dad and I took a quick stop at the Fernbank Museum, which I wouldn’t exactly endorse but which I probably shouldn’t trash-talk after I got some very nice pictures there. Luckily I had my Claire outfit on, and what resulted was probably my favorite cosplay photo shoot that I’ve ever done. Take a look:

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I’ve always wanted to do a JP cosplay shoot at a museum, and I’m really happy that I did and that I got to share it with you! I took some more pictures of me as Claire and Kylo Ren at the convention; you can see them on my tumblr.

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Familiar Places and Weird New Faces

I gave this warning a few posts ago, but I’ll give it again. This post contains set photos, leaks and possible spoilers for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. You have been warned.

Jurassic Outpost and Reel News Hawaii are a blessing to this fandom; they’re solely responsible for giving us a ton of news about what was happening on the JW2 set before filming recently wrapped. The photos I use in this post can be credited to them; if anyone wants to correct me on my sources, please feel free to do so. And there have been a ton of photos lately. I’ll show the least spoiler-y ones first: Claire and Owen’s costumes!

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Justice Smith’s character Clint is with them in the second photo.

Those are just my favorites; you can see many more here. As you can see, Claire and Owen are on a beach off of Nublar, washing up on the shore (and holding hands! I honestly hope they start the movie in an established relationship, if only for the sake of the movie focusing on its plot instead of a romance). In another photo, Franklin washes up with them:

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According to Reel News Hawaii, the four of them are “washing up on a beach bound for East Dock before it’s destroyed”. If you weren’t aware, there have been a ton of explosions and pyrotechnics effects on the movie’s set in Hawaii, meaning that Isla Nublar or at least a large part of it is going to go kaboom. With this in mind, the context of the “rescue operation” to Nublar changes a lot. Lava seems to be a large part of the island’s destruction, but will the rest of it be caused by humans? If so, is Claire and Owen’s rescue team going there to save as many dinosaurs as possible before they’re torched– and if they are, why would they do that if they knew that any dinosaurs taken to the mainland would be used for things like the military or experimentation? Maybe they’re going back just to rescue Blue? Maybe those on the rescue team are actually the ones responsible for blowing the island up, in an attempt to keep further dinosaur cloning technology away from those who’d use it for sinister purposes? Or someone just knocks over a can of gasoline in the wrong part of the island, and what happens happens? It’s honestly pretty frustrating having all these pieces of the puzzle but not knowing enough about the film’s plot to put them together, but enough new information has been coming together lately that I’m sure we’ll be able to put them in place soon enough.

The costumes themselves are pretty unremarkable in my opinion, unless their color-coordinated outfits are somehow the uniform of the rescue team going to Nublar, in which case I love them. (Especially because of the implication that Claire and Owen decided everyone needed to look cool if they were about to go do some badass dinosaur-rescuing, and then they proceeded to sit down and have a meeting about their uniforms and/or code names.) However, Owen is still wearing his iconic vest, and Claire has another set of practical footwear. That’s all they really need, and I’m happy for them. The fact that they’re washing up on shore in the scene that this depicts also really excites me; not only because it’s happening near the East Dock, which we know will be a prominent location in this movie, but because they were out on a boat in the ocean next to Nublar, and they appear to be worn out, possibly from frantically swimming away from something. And what could possibly be in the waters off the island that someone would wear themselves out trying to escape? That’s right, folks…

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*wicked guitar riff*

We have absolutely no confirmation or anything from the set that would possibly suggest the Mosasaur’s return, but she was a fan favorite in JW and didn’t get much screen time in it, so it would make perfect sense if Trevorrow wanted to do more with her. An underwater chase sequence with a giant prehistoric monster would really go with the horror vibe of the whole movie, and again, it would really explain why the rescue team is washed up on shore, looking happy to be alive.

Speaking of familiar locations like the East Dock returning, take a look at what else we’ll be seeing again:

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I said in my last post that I’m hyped to be seeing the ruins of Jurassic World, and I see I won’t be disappointed. The lack of anything around this little part of Main Street suggests that there won’t be a lot of time spent there, but just getting to see it at all will be awesome. It’d be even better if there were little compsongnathuses scurrying around the ruins and dimorphodons building nests in the buildings’ rafters; again, I really want to see how the ecosystem of the island has developed in the years it’s been abandoned. As I’ve mentioned previously, I think the Lost World novel is a good probable basis (Bayona and Trevorrow have said that the basis for this movie is Crichton’s works) for how the dinosaurs have adjusted to being left alone– the overall ecosystem probably isn’t doing too great. In the novel, a large part of what made Sorna’s environment fail was that the predator-prey balance was all out of whack due to way too many carnivorous dinosaurs being born. That’s definitely the case here, too, because of how many of the park’s attractions were natural predators. In the book, an indicator of the ecosystem’s unhealthiness was a large amount of dead sauropods, way more than there should have been, and we’re definitely seeing that on Nublar too:

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In other words, even if the island wasn’t blown to smithereens or fried with lava, its inhabitants probably would’ve died out by themselves before long anyway. Isla Nublar is undoubtedly doomed. As awfully depressing as that is, it’s what Crichton wrote and it’s dark, so it fits perfectly with the way Fallen Kingdom has been described. Are you sad enough yet? No? Well, take a look at this:

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As I said many times on Twitter last night, this is not at all what I expected for the continuation of Rexy’s story, and I would’ve liked it much better if the end of JW was the last time we ever saw her– that way we could always remember her as the triumphant queen of the island once again. It was confirmed a long time ago that we’d see her again in this movie, but I’d hoped that it would just be a quick glimpse of her being as happy as she was at the end of the last movie; maybe Claire and Owen would happen to see her walk by, and they’d share a somber little moment of understanding with her as she went on her way. But, as Sickle_Claw pointed out to me, if that happened in this movie, Rexy’s story would end in lava and/or an explosion, which nobody wants to see happen.

But it’s not like any of that matters now, because we know the next chapter of everyone’s favorite T. rex’s life involves being stuck in a transport truck like the mother rex from TLW, and almost certainly being taken to the mainland. We can only hope that an old dinosaur who tried her best to take down the Indominus will be treated with respect once she gets wherever she’s being taken, but somehow I don’t think that’s what JA “literally burning the first and fourth movies to the ground” Bayona has in mind for her or any other dinosaur. At this point, I’m really just hoping she makes it to the end of this movie alive, or at least meets a dignified end, since it’s not like she’ll have an island to go back to by the end of all of this.

Boy, all of this is really sad. Let’s take a minute to go back to what we loved so much during the lead-up to the first JW movie: wild speculation about what crazy new dinosaurs are about to be recklessly thrown into the franchise.

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Amblin and Mattel recently trademarked the name Indoraptor– this could just be the name of a new hybrid toy, but some fans are speculating that it could show up in the movie. A large, dangerous, extremely intelligent hybrid like an I. rex with a velociraptor (although it makes little sense, because the Indominus is already basically just a huge, extra-smart raptor) would certainly be a lot of use to the military. Personally, I don’t think that it’s anything to get too worked up about. Trevorrow is surely just as aware as the rest of us that an even bigger, even scarier version of the Indominus as Fallen Kingdom’s villain is taking things into Godzilla-movie territory, and the horror of the movie will be based around things like animal exploitation, instead of yet another big scary dinosaur chasing everybody. And there are all kinds of other hybrids in the toy lines that will (hopefully) never show up in the movies, like Carnoraptor and Pteromimus.

After the image above was tweeted, Jurassic Outpost wondered if that animatronic in the cage was in fact the mysterious Indoraptor. It would make sense if that were true, since it looks almost entirely like an Indominus save for its dark skin. Personally, I think that what we’re seeing there is a variation on the Indominus, probably created by a corporation or the military, and its skin has just been modified for their purposes. This could also be some kind of flashback to when the park was still operational, and/or it could be showing Indy or a clone of her camouflaging. It could even be a statue in Lockwood’s mansion, although I have no idea why he’d have something like that on display. Whatever that dinosaur is, I think it’s safe to say that it’s most likely not the Indoraptor, and I’m intrigued to see what it really is.

Stay tuned for more Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom updates!

My Jurassic June Project

Yesterday was the end of the month-long fandom celebration known as Jurassic June. My tribute to the Jurassic Park series was to post some JP toy photography every day for the whole month. Below I’ve gathered the entirety of the project; the photos are numbered by the day, because sometimes I posted sets of photos instead of individual ones. Enjoy!

1.

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“Easy folks, she’s just a hatchling. Stand down, Echo.”

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4.

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5.

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Everybody’s gotta play sometimes!

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A herd of Ians rests in the shade on a hot day.
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These gentle, skittish creatures are quick to scatter when a predator appears.

11. (Jurassic Park’s 24th anniversary)

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12.

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18. (Fathers’ Day)

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19.

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Who’s she supposed to listen to?

21.

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23.

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24.

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25.

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Their DNA was hybridized, but their love was pure.

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26.

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2 Jurassic 2 Furious: This Time it’s Personal

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29.

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They figured out a compromise on the “babies” thing.

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I hope all of you had as much of a fun Jurassic June as I did, and I can’t wait for next year. In the meantime, let’s do #JeffJuly again– we’ve got plenty of Ian Malcolm to look forward to!

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

So it wasn’t Ancient Futures after all! They pulled an Ebb Tide on us! Ladies and gentlemen, our very first JW sequel poster:

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I’m pretty meh on the title– I liked Ancient Futures more, it evokes the theme of dinosaurs being used as modern technology better than this does– but if the movie is as dark and despondent as we’ve been led to believe so far that it is, this title fits that mood. The logo went the same way as The Lost World did, taking a familiar image and just cracking it up a bit; Bayona has said many times that he’ll go in a new direction with the series, but could this mirroring of the original trilogy be a sign of his intent to stay true to the franchise’s roots? That choice also nicely hints at the ruins of what was Jurassic World, which it’s been confirmed that we’ll see, so that’s exciting. I really love the embers flying up, too, like we’re watching Jurassic World burning to the ground so that a new era can begin. I know I’m reading too much into a simple teaser poster, but it’s really effectively done.

And, of course, the tagline and most-quoted line from the first movie (aside from “you were so preoccupied with whether or not you could…”, and although I love those lines and the character who said them, I really hope he doesn’t say them again in this new movie, because we already have enough people reciting them in hopes of sounding smart)– Life Finds A Way. So… is this a Jurassic World teaser, or just a somewhat subtle way of getting us hyped up for Ian Malcolm: The Motion Picture? Did the production team witness the Internet explosion when Goldblum’s return was announced, and did they decide that their best move was to put all the PR on Malcolm? Will we have to wait for Trevorrow and co. to give us only little peeks at Malcolm bit by bit and week by week, like we had to with the Indominus Rex? Or, more accurately, will a picture of Malcolm’s full costume and smug smirk be leaked to the fandom via a seemingly inconsequential piece of merchandise, causing a riot within the fandom that I still find utterly hilarious years afterward? We’ll have to wait for answers to all of that, but for now, we have a very cool poster, a director who obviously had a lot of fun taking a sledgehammer to the JW logo, and a lot of Malcolm to be excited about. Maybe there’ll even be a dinosaur or two in Ian’s new movie.

Did I say maybe? Because there will be. There will be new kinds of dinos in Fallen Kingdom as well as familiar ones, and we’ve gotten a look at the latter:

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The incredible people at Reel News Hawaii brought us these photos of practical-effect dinosaurs; the beasts are stationary, not animatronics, but they’re beautifully detailed and probably headed off to a really nasty fate in the movie. My first thought when I saw that trike in the transport truck was that it was going off to be experimented on somewhere. That’s not necessarily true, but it’d go with the animal-rights theme of the movie if it were. The animal might also be getting transported off of Isla Nublar in the wake of the Jurassic World Incident, or it could even just be going down the highway next to someone’s car on the mainland– what an awesome way that would be to establish how ingrained dinosaurs have become into society in this universe. The stego looks a lot freer and happier, so maybe he’s just wandering around Nublar with his herd and has no intention of being brought to San Francisco to work in a factory.

Come to think of it, I’m pretty interested in what happened to the animals in JW after the Incident. Obviously the place didn’t get firebombed like in the first novel, and since the cloning technology for dinosaurs still exists and it’d be pretty hard to round up all of JW’s exhibits and domesticate them, it would make little sense for all of the dinosaurs we saw in the last movie to be in the army and having makeup tested on them in this movie. The logical answer is that the island and all its inhabitants were just left to do their own thing, like Hammond would’ve wanted– but then what need would there be to return to Nublar, as this movie will? And if that truck really is taking that triceratops off the island, then why? I’m also excited to see what the environment of Nublar is like if the dinosaurs there were allowed to live on their own. Specifically, in the second novel, all the dinosaurs were artificially created and kept in enclosures, and when the park holding them was abandoned, the ecosystem became extremely unhealthy and doomed to failure; will the same thing happen on Nublar? It’d be an intelligent but bleak reference to Crichton’s work if the former Jurassic World collapsed just like Isla Sorna did, and “intelligent but bleak” seems like exactly the vibe Fallen Kingdom is going for.

Reel News Hawaii also published set photos, both of a beaten-up Owen (considering the amount of pyrotechnics that are being used during filming, it’s not at all surprising that he seems to be a bit charred)…

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and of our first peek at Claire!

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Wow, she’s a lot more practical in this one, wearing jeans and an army jacket, and boots! Actual running shoes! Good for you, Claire! She also appears to be riding in a fairly undamaged Gyrosphere; I can already see that this will probably be a bittersweet moment in the movie, the park’s former operations manager riding through the ruins of the park she used to work so hard to maintain. Hopefully the slow pace of the Gyrosphere will also give us a chance to get a more scenic and thorough look at the ruins of the park and the state of the island’s ecosystem. Honestly, besides Goldblum and the return of my beloved Rexy, seeing the ruins of Jurassic World is the part of Fallen Kingdom that I’m the most excited for. The plot seems exciting, of course, but I am all about those abandoned theme parks.

And finally, speaking of ruining Jurassic World, take a gander at this:

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Jurassic Outpost assures that this has no relation to the new movie, but dinosaurs in the military in JW2 has been confirmed, so there might be a bit of commonality between the two. Remember after the announcement that trained raptors would be in Jurassic World, when everyone went ballistic about the idea of dinosaurs being used as trained soldiers? Well, take a glimpse into the hellscape of an alternate reality where that actually happened. Yeah, dinosaurs in robot suits are cool in principle, but in a classic adult franchise like JP, seeing things like that badly-photoshopped underwear decal on the big screen would just come off as ridiculous. If this is the merchandise line that we get between now and Mattel’s classic JP line, then eh, I guess it’s a pretty solid way to garner some money to fund good CGI, and kids will probably eat it up. Even I might buy a toy of that raptor with arctic armor if one gets made. It had just better stay away from the movies, and away from that poor triceratops in the truck. The poor thing looks like it’s been through more than enough already.

I’d like to take a moment to sincerely thank you, my readers, for sticking with this blog even through my unannounced, two-month hiatuses. Your support gives me a reason to keep writing, and I truly appreciate every one of you. Also, there’s only about a week left in Jurassic June, so create some art and show your JP appreciation! I have an ongoing photography project that I’ve been posting to my various accounts, but I’ll share all of it on here at the end of the month.

A Football-Field Sized Load of News

 

Important notice: from today onwards, every Jurassic World 2 news-centered post that I write will most likely contain at least one spoiler, or speculation that could be considered spoilers. If avoiding spoilers for this movie is a concern for you, go no further.

Boy, have I been neglecting Jurassic World 2 news. Part of it is that it’s been coming in small bits that wouldn’t warrant entire posts, and part of it is that college is doing its absolute best to kill me with work. In any case, here’s one big update on what we know about JW2 so far.

As you may have seen from last night’s post and/or my participation on Twitter in what I’ve come to call the Blumpocalypse, the casting that I’m most excited for is that Jeff Goldblum will be returning to the movie to reprise his role as Ian Malcolm! I’ll get to that in a little bit. Some others who have been cast in the movie are Daniella Pineda from The Detour, Ted Levine from Silence of the Lambs, Rafe Spall from Prometheus, Toby Jones from the Captain America series and Geraldine Chaplin from Nashville; I sincerely hope Geraldine isn’t there to play Ian’s love interest or wife (especially since she’s a very capable actress and deserves a better role than that) but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Another casting is James Cromwell, who will be playing “Benjamin Lockwood”, who apparently was Hammond’s business partner and helped him develop the dinosaur-cloning technology. That’s pretty intriguing and shows us that, despite the production team’s insistence that this movie will go in a different direction and won’t be like the rest of the movies, not taking place on an island etc. (which isn’t entirely true– despite the overall tone of the movie, filming is taking place in Hawaii and Rexy will definitely make another appearance, so I think it’s safe to say we’ll see Nublar at some point) they’re really looking to connect this movie with the first JP by bringing back an original-trilogy character and someone connected to another original-trilogy character. Whether that’s because the theme of this movie has a lot to do with that of the first movie or if it’s just because of the movie’s goal of “reintroducing the franchise to a new generation” as well as drawing in audiences with nostalgia, it’ll be a delicate thing to pull off. Hopefully it’ll come across as a “ties to the original trilogy without exploiting it” type of thing, like The Force Awakens, instead of just blatant cashing in on nostalgia. Trevorrow and Spielberg pulled that off wonderfully in the first movie, so I definitely trust them to do it with this one.

And speaking of the movie’s theme, here’s a very interesting quote from Trevorrow:

“The dinosaurs will be a parable of the treatment animals receive today: the abuse, medical experimentation, pets, having wild animals in zoos like prisons, the use the military has made of them, animals as weapons. The second part will be a very different, more complex movie that will explore new paths. For that reason, it was clear that it needed to be Bayona who would direct it, in order to have it grow and evolve with his very personal vision.”

So we’ll definitely have a plot centering around dinosaurs on the mainland, at least for the first half of the movie! I have to say, I really wish they would focus more on world-building, showing what a society with dinosaurs in it would look like and how it would be different from the world today– showing its dark sides, of course, but also adding a touch of the magic and excitement that came with the part of Jurassic World where Zach and Grey explored the park and showed what it was generally like there. I’m sure the part of the movie being discussed here won’t just be a PETA (PETD? Ethical treatment of dinosaurs?) montage of dinosaurs suffering, it’ll be much more nuanced than that. And animal abuse and exploitation are most definitely issues that movies should address, and that a huge movie like this has the power to spur some real change with. It’s a noble goal and I have no doubt that Trevorrow, Bayona and his team will create a thoughtful movie that addresses the often-overlooked side effects of the idea of cloning dinosaurs (something particularly relevant now that de-extincting animals is being seriously looked into). I just personally don’t want to see my beloved dinosaurs being hurt and exploited, that’s all. I’m sure they’ll eat some people and get their revenge.

Now let’s take a look at some pictures of the film’s sets! The one we’ve seen the most of has been what I previously thought was a museum, but which Jurassic Outpost refers to as a mansion, most likely Benjamin Lockwood’s. We saw it already in this photo:

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Cromwell refers to it as “a football field sized set with real recreations of dinosaurs”, and obviously a lot of work has gone into it. Lockwood obviously cares a lot about dinosaurs (has he just been sitting there for 24 years, collecting dinosaurs and pondering the philosophy of the various dinosaur-related incidents? Considering most if not all of what happened was Hammond’s fault, I sure hope he isn’t too guilty about helping develop that cloning technology) and it seems likely that he’ll help do something about the rampant dino exploitation and abuse that’s probably happening all over the world. I think the photo above is from a scene where Lucy goes to draw Lockwood out of seclusion and get him to help with whatever dinosaur-rights cause she’s involved in, or whatever new disaster has just unfolded. In any case, we’ll be seeing a lot of this expensive-looking mansion set. Here’s another couple of peeks at it:

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Jurassic Outpost speculates that the dinosaur in the first image is a Metriacanthosaurus. At first glance I thought it was just a life-sized statue that was a part of Lockwood’s collection, but it’s also entirely possible that it’s our first look at the movie’s animatronics! It seems really unlikely to me that they’d painstakingly construct such a beautiful set and then not have at least one big dinosaur rampage through it, so maybe we’ll see Metriacanthosaurus and possibly a friend or two run around the mansion and knock down Lockwood’s precious collectibles. That or he keeps a giant carnivorous dinosaur as a pet, which honestly wouldn’t surprise me– every single person reading this would absolutely do the same thing if they were rich and lived in this universe. The second picture, captioned “Background tease” on Twitter, is also intriguing and could depict either life-sized statues or a couple of dinosaurs throwing hands (claws?) in the mansion. If it’s a storyboard involving a scene with animatronics, this is a major spoiler and likely shows an Indominus vs. Spinosaurus battle which, in my opinion, is kind of a cheesy thing to do unless it’s the climax of the movie and a lot of good context has led up to it. With all the talk of how different this sequel will be from the rest of the movies, I think it deserves a better ending than just “here’s two big dinosaurs, let’s watch them fight”, which Jurassic World pulled off with style but which has the potential to turn very B-movie very fast. Again, I trust the production team not to do anything stupid, and I also sincerely doubt they’d just throw up a huge spoiler like that, especially so early in production. I’m sure we’ll see more and more of the mansion set in the coming months, so we’ll see whether the animals in those pictures are “real” dinos or just oversized collectible figures.

Far away from the mansion, another set is being built in Hawaii, in an area that was shown in both the first movie and Jurassic World:

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It’s too early in its construction to tell for sure what the structure is, but my personal guess is that it’ll be used to hold and/or capture Rexy. That’s just my idea, though, and I’m really excited for the Queen of Nublar’s return, so I’m kinda seeing what I want to see. Another interesting set piece is a transport truck outside London with a dino-sized cage on top of it:

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Again, according to my own wishful thinking, this might be a vehicle that carries Rexy to the mainland, or some other dinosaur around for a company or something. There’s not too much else that can be inferred from a transport truck, but I’m sure it’ll be part of an interesting scene.

Last but certainly not least, we have the first footage from the film’s set! Two clips have emerged, both involving a helicopter ride at night. The first one shows the helicopter taking off:

And the second shows the journey’s abrupt and rather unpleasant end, as it hangs precariously from a branch during a thunderstorm:

The first place everyone’s mind went to when they saw this was that Henry Wu’s helicopter ride from the end of Jurassic World didn’t go as planned. It’s also entirely possible that this isn’t the case, because for companies and the military to get a hold of dinosaur cloning technology and the necessary genomes for it, somebody had to have delivered them the materials for it, and the only people who we saw headed off the island with that material was Henry Wu and his team. Also, the helicopter is seen here taking off from a distinctly non-Nublar location, so it might have nothing to do with Wu at all. Although it could be argued that Wu might deserve to get his helicopter crashed and then be picked off by a dinosaur because of his conspiracy with Hoskins and subsequent role in creating the environment that allowed all of that dinosaur abuse to happen, it doesn’t seem to me like that’s what’ll happen to him.

Those two bits of footage, the set photos, and whatever the production team and cast decide to grace us with on social media are all the concrete details we have so far on the movie. Aside from waiting for details to come from the studio bit by bit, the only other way we have to find out more about the movie is fan investigation by people who happen to be near the many filming locations. Of course, Universal Pictures doesn’t want leaks, and we should respect that by not covertly going near sets and taking whatever photos or videos we can. To be clear, I am absolutely not endorsing that Jurassic Park fans near Langley Business Center in Slough, England, Brecon Beacons National Park in Wales, Kaui in Hawaii, or Pinewood Studios in England should find their way near sets and wait with a cell phone camera for even a tiny detail that would benefit the fandom greatly. Indeed, it would be a terrible tragedy if someone in one of those places answered a casting call for extras and reported what they saw and heard, especially to me as a scoop for my blog. I sure would hate to go against Universal’s wishes by encouraging people to go out and find out whatever they can about this movie we’re anticipating so much, so don’t do it, guys.

Now that I’ve discussed all the other news, a word about the speculation that’s kept me awake and hyperactive for almost 12 hours now: the return of Ian Malcolm. I and many others have wanted this to happen for a long time, but I never thought it would actually happen. The dream came true last night, though, so it’s time to kick off more than a year of anticipation by making some predictions about Ian’s role in the new movie. I think we can take it as a matter of fact that Ian’s probably opposed to this whole “dinosaurs on the mainland” thing; at the very least I think he’ll be there as one of the people who’s seen plenty of disasters or problems like the one that’ll likely unfold in the movie, and who can provide advice and warnings– again, like Han Solo in Force Awakens. (I will be quite upset if he dies, but hopefully he won’t and it’s too early to worry about that anyway.) It’s also possible that he’ll be a dinosaur rights activist, either having done it ever since the animals started being used in industry or spurred into it by other characters. (I’ve wanted to write a story about him being a DRA for a while now, and maybe this will be my encouragement to do it.) I really hope they don’t just have him there as a grumpy old man who delivers dire warnings to the characters before withdrawing back into whatever mental state he’s in after all that the Jurassic World incident and subsequent stuff put him through. Probably nobody could pay him enough to be involved in whatever part of the plot involves going back to Nublar, so most of what he does will likely involve the mainland and the dinos on it, and hopefully he won’t get attacked by any more dinosaurs while he’s there– the poor guy’s been through enough. Personally, I hope we get to see the details of how he’s doing these days, whether he got his tenure back or retired, and whether he used the cash he’s probably swimming in from book sales and public appearances to buy a mansion. More than anything, I really just want this movie to show Ian having a happy life, even if only at the beginning. I genuinely care about him a lot, and after all he’s been through, he deserves some peace. I’m not saying he’ll necessarily get it, but I hope he does.

I sincerely think that at least part of the reason that this movie is bringing Ian back is because he’s related to one of the new characters, most likely as one of their fathers. I’ve said before that Justice Smith looks a lot like a young Ian, and Daniela Pineda looks about the right age to have been a child in 1993. Having an old-trilogy character’s kid be a protagonist in the sequel is a pretty kid-movie thing to do, but it would certainly fit in with the theme of tying this movie to the first one with characters, as well as in reviving Jurassic Park for a new generation. It would also fill the classic Jurassic Park requirement of having some kind of dysfunctional family dynamic in the movie if Ian and one of his estranged kids were on an adventure together (again). The idea is just speculation at this point, but it seems pretty likely to me. A lot of people in the fandom think that Lowery is Ian’s kid because of his echoing of Ian’s philosophy and his similar looks, but since Jake Johnson has been confirmed not to be in this movie, that probably won’t be confirmed aside from a passing mention if it’s true at all. It’s also possible that Lucy is his daughter or granddaughter, but I’m starting to wonder if she has some kind of relation to Hammond or Lockwood. In casting calls for the part, her exact age was very important, so I’m thinking that she was born at a very certain time on the movies’ timeline, possibly meaning she has to do with another important character. I kind of doubt that Ian would let any kid of his have anything to do with Lockwood or dinosaurs, though, so unless she’s as rebellious and curious as Kelly, I think she probably isn’t a Malcolm.

As you may be able to tell, I’m really, really hyped for JW2 and the return of the chaotician I love so dearly. It looks like I’ll be updating more often as news rolls in, so stick around for more news about The Ian Malcolm Movie (And A Couple Dinosaurs Too)!

A Real Jurassic Park

A lot of cool attractions have come about based on Jurassic Park and Jurassic World, from the amazing different Universal parks with their robotic baby triceratops and pterodactyl coasters, to the recent Jurassic World The Exhibition, which still has yet to come near me no matter how many sacrifices and prayer circles I’ve made. Now, not affiliated with Universal but still promising to be amazing, there’s a new Jurassic World-based attraction coming to the UK and it’s… well, unique. Soon, people will get the chance to actually be eaten by one of the dinosaurs we love so much.

Starting June 24th, a new theme park will open (if you can even call it a theme park) called Dinosaurs in the Wild, which promises to make you feel just like the prey of the dinosaurs you’ve grown to love in the Jurassic World movies, plus a few others. Filled with giant state-of-the-art animatronics in an enormous indoor environment that was engineered to look as much like a Cretaceous forest as possible, it’s a really cool-sounding attraction with a really weird twist. Visitors get in off-road vehicles and get a tour around the area, just like if they were on a safari after being transported back in time. And I’m fine with that part, but immediately afterwards, they dump you to fend for yourself in the middle of a large clearing. And you have the choice to run for the woods or stay where you are and let your fate decide itself, but eventually, one of the robotic dinosaurs will hunt you down and proceed to eat you. The attraction’s website assures us that the experience of being chowed down will be “strange but not painful”– apparently instead of being chewed, you’ll just be swallowed and pass through the animatronic’s gullet, followed by being deposited straight into the gift shop. Definitely not my cup of tea, and frankly if getting swallowed by a giant robot of any kind is the sort of thing that you’d be interested in taking a trip to the UK and forking over money for, I’m pretty worried about you.

The rest of the place seems amazing, though. These people have a serious dedication to accuracy– well, mostly. Here’s one of the featured dinosaurs that you have the chance to be an entree for:

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Even the kids in the first JP movie know that sauropods don’t eat people, guys. (Plus, with that long neck, won’t it take hours to go through the thing’s body?) Other than that glaring oversight, I’m in awe. Look at the feathers! Look at the detailed scales! Here’s another one of their attractions:

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I would scream in both joy and terror if I got to see one of those walking around. The accurate feather placement! The fact that it isn’t shrink-wrapped! The colors! I mean, I wouldn’t want it eating me or anything, but I do appreciate it in an aesthetic way.

So why exactly would so much work go into such a weird attraction with a strange target audience? Jill Bryant, Dinosaurs in the Wild’s producer, explains it all on the website. “Universal basically has a lock on recreating the magical environment of the Jurassic Park movies, and we wanted to create something that couldn’t be experienced anywhere else in the world,” she says. “Initially, we were going to create a dinosaur theme park which drew inspiration from the movies, but which focused more on education and current paleontological theory. But whenever we discussed the idea with anyone other than the production team, their first response was to joke about, “oh, when will the dinos break out and eat everybody?” And at first that was tiring, but then it gave me an idea.

“The other Jurassic Park-based attractions in the world just focus on one aspect of the classic film series, which is the part about the awe and wonder of it all. With Dinosaurs In The Wild, we wanted to give people an experience that replicated the more thrilling parts of the movies they loved, the action sequences that got their heart racing. Everyone remembers sitting on the edge of their seat the first time they watched Jurassic Park and saw Alan Grant staring a T. rex in the face, and Ellie Sattler being stalked by Velociraptors. Now people of all ages– although we don’t recommend this attraction for children under ten– will get the chance to be hunted by the greatest predators to ever walk the earth. You could hide in the forest and be thrillingly hunted down by a pack of raptors, or Deinonychus as they are in this attraction. You could climb a tree and see how long it takes the roving alamosaurs to find you. Or you could just stay in the field, exploring the painstakingly recreated Cretaceous scenery, and wait until a scientifically accurate tyrannosaur tracks you down. There’s a million ways to experience Dinosaurs In The Wild, and I’m very excited to share them with you this June.”

Well, that makes some sense, I will admit. I haven’t been to Jurassic World: The Exhibition, but I bet everyone there wonders when the giant Rexy robot will duck down and grab someone in its chompers, and I bet a lot of guests are genuinely curious about what would happen if it did. And, other than the getting-eaten part, it really does seem like a genuinely cool place to visit. If the eating part weren’t mandatory– and the website assures me that it is– I’d go just for the chance to walk around a prehistoric forest and hang out with big feathery T. rexes. No, scratch that, I would go for the chance to join a raptor pack for as long as they’d let me. I would run around with a gang of Deinonychus just as I’ve dreamed of for so long, and people and animatronics alike would shiver at the mention of my pack. Maybe I could help my raptor friends track down some fellow guests, and afterwards I’d pet their heads and tell them they’re good dinosaurs, and we’d hang out in their nest area and do whatever it is raptors do in their down time. Yeah, honestly now that I think about it, I might not mind getting eaten as long as I get to do that.

Dinosaurs in the Wild will have two three-month runs, at Birmingham and then Manchester, from June to August and then October to January. The website is unclear about how much it will cost; it only says “you’ll give an arm and a leg– literally”. I would definitely go if I got the chance– is anyone with me?

Author’s note: if you’d like to learn more about becoming a dino’s meal at Dinosaurs in the Wild, I should probably inform you that you just got April Fooled! The attraction is real and sounds really awesome, but fortunately it’s more like a real Jurassic World and doesn’t involve getting eaten by anything. (Hopefully.) Here’s the attraction’s website, and if you happen to live near where it’ll take place or plan to take a trip there, please consider taking me with you. Please. Please.

Caring For Your Ingen Pygmy Triceratops™

Well, the hype has officially begun– filming for Jurassic World 2 has begun in England, in the Langley Business Centre:

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Considering the story of the movie will likely take place mostly on the mainland, this set could be used for way more scenarios than just someone’s house before they leave for Isla Nublar, so we don’t really have a definite answer for what exactly the Business Centre will have to do with the plot; it looks too small to be a dino-cloning facility or anything, but who knows? That’s the only real JW news we’ve gotten this week (besides more casting and a couple of character names) except of course for this:

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That was posted by Colin Trevorrow on Twitter with the caption “Walking in giant footsteps. #JW2” and I’d venture to guess that the little girl pictured is Lucy (although, since she hasn’t even been cast yet as far as we know, it’s probably just a Lucy stand-in). Whether this scene actually appears in the movie or not (remember that photo of the East Dock sign that he tweeted early in JW’s filming?) it’s a gorgeous photo and got me very, very excited for what’s to come.

Since that’s about all the news there is to report on, I thought I’d do something fun this time, so here’s an informative blog post from a different Raptor Dash in a slightly different time in a different universe– one that has a lot more dinosaurs in it.

Hello everyone, and welcome to the exciting and adorable world of InGen Pygmy Triceratops ownership! Whether you’re only considering adopting one of these little Cretaceous cuties or you’re already a proud owner who’s looking for some tips, I’m glad you’ve decided to look to me for advice (instead of an unapproved third-party source). Although my blog may receive a small amount of funding from the InGen Corporation, you can count on me to impartially show you the ins and outs of how to properly care for the unique pet that’s now a part of your life.

The InGen Corporation is devoted to satisfying all of the companies and people that benefit from its services, and after the regrettable Jurassic World Incident, it made a concentrated effort to use its amazing genetic technology to improve the world around us. In addition to the giant ceratopsians that plow the fields that grow your food, the docile stegosaurs you see in zoos, the velociraptors that serve as the next step in the United States’ military technologies and more, InGen also developed something much more domestic and certainly much cuter– a line of pet miniature dinosaurs that never get big, can never be dangerous and never stop being precious! Pygmy Iguanadons, Pygmy Ankylosaurs, Pygmy Stegoceratops and Pygmy Paralophosaurs are available for purchase at any pet store near you, but my favorites of the line are the Pygmy Triceratops; I love them so much that I adopted three, and today they’re happy to help me show you how to take proper care of your new little trike! Let’s meet the gang!

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On the far left is Jasper, a sweet little girl with a shy side who loves to cuddle and take long naps. Then there’s Sahara– as you can tell, she’s the playful one! Finally there’s Orion, who’s the strong and silent type but still gets excited enough to chase a butterfly every once in a while! It’s highly advisable to adopt at least two at a time, as Triceratops have always been herding animals and will get lonely if they’re left alone at home for too long; two isn’t small enough to form your own cute little herd, though, so the more the merrier. These three are all babies, so they’re tiny and cute as buttons, but I won’t have to worry about them taking up too much space in my dorm room when they get older: the full size of a Pygmy Triceratops™ is about a foot and a half tall (0.5 m) and less than three feet long (1 m). They’ll always have plenty of room to run and play!

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It’s very important to only feed your Pygmy Triceratops™ with certified InGen Health Blend Baby Triceratops Chow. This special food was engineered specifically for the genetically-engineered bodies of little Pygmy Triceratops and provides them with all the nutrients they need in their diet. Look how eager Orion is for dinner time! You can choose to feed them separate meals like you would a cat or dog, but Triceratops were grazing herbivores back in Cretaceous times, and their modern reincarnations still have traces of that instinct. Therefore it might make your little pets happy if you purchased a small trough or spread the food out among several paper plates throughout the house, allowing your Pygmy Triceratops™ to munch whenever they please. Remember to feed them about half to three-quarters of a cup of food per day– you don’t want them getting too chubby!

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If your trike’s been good and deserves a special treat, give them some Ingen Pygmy Triceratops YumYum Pellets! Made from sweet-tasting fruit, your little ones will love them! Just make sure you give them out equally– you can see how eager my babies are to get at them.

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The only thing Pygmy Triceratops™ love more than treat time is playtime! They’re not the most active animals– pick up a Pygmy Paralophosaur™ if you want a dino that’ll run and play with you every day– but they certainly love to hug and bat around their stuffed animals. Jasper and Orion love their stuffed penguin because of how soft (and easy to chew) it is, and Sahara is enamored with the stuffed triceratops that my friend Alex bought me when she visited Jurassic World a few years ago. As you can see, their favorite place to play is on the carpet, probably because its texture reminds them of grass; I would recommend putting down rugs or carpets throughout your home, or keeping your trikes in a carpeted “safe room”if you’re worried about them wandering around and causing trouble when you’re not home.

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Since this is only the first generation of InGen Pygmy Dinosaurs, there are still a few teeny little “bugs” that need to be worked out. In the Pygmy Triceratops’ case, it’s that their herding instinct may be just a bit too strong. As you can see, Sahara is very attached to this stuffed trike and refuses to let it go when play time is over. Judging by the way she clings to it, she probably thinks it’s another member of her herd, or perhaps even her mother. The next iteration of Pygmy Dinosaurs™ most likely won’t have issues like this, but until then, consider giving your pets toys that don’t resemble Triceratops.

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Instead, give them toys that were specifically made to be safe and fun, as well as teaching your Pygmy Triceratops’ growing brains! InGen now makes Pygmy Dinosaur SafeToys, which are fun for your little angels to chew on and are made to look like other herbivorous dinosaurs from the ancient times of the original Triceratops. This brown one is brand new; Orion is sniffing at it with interest, deciding if he likes it more than the red one that he’ll contentedly chew on for hours if I let him. Of course, these are far from the only toys from InGen that your little dino will love to play with. Just look how happy my babies were to see the brand-new Stegoceratops toy from the Hybrids line, designed to teach dinosaurs and owners alike about the marvelous new species developed in InGen’s labs:

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Playing with toys is far from the only way to entertain your Pygmy Triceratops. They love to be carried outside for walks and romps in the grass! Here’s Jasper admiring (and trying to munch on) some pansies:

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It’s important to be careful when taking your Pygmy Triceratops™ outdoors. If they eat anything but InGen’s special food, they’ll get sick, but they don’t know that, so be sure to keep a close eye on your trikes and keep them away from any plants that they might try to snack on.

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Another important thing to note about all Pygmy Dinosaurs™ is that they have a strong aversion to cold weather and vastly prefer warm environments, just like their ancestors; this is why they should spend most of their time in a temperature-regulated indoor environment. Jasper and I came across some snow on our walk, and she refused to go anywhere near it. For those of you who live in cold areas but still want a prehistoric pet of your own, head to your local pet store this fall and adopt an InGen Pygmy Woolly Mammoth!

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After your little ones are all tuckered out from their outdoor adventure, or if you just need to keep them entertained for half an hour, they’ll love watching television, especially cheery children’s shows. Mine always show a lot of interest when I put Dinosaur Train on for them, but that’s probably more because of the bright colors and funny noises than the fact that it’s about dinosaurs.

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At the end of their fun day, give your Pygmy Triceratops™ a nice warm bed to sleep in and a couple of soft toys for them to cuddle with. Because of their nesting instincts, mine love it when I make them a soft, cushy place for them to sink into, usually out of a bathrobe or soft towel. When it’s time to go to sleep, tuck them into their special little sleeping place…

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…and don’t be surprised when they come to your bed anyway, impatiently mooing until you let them go to sleep cuddled up next to you. You are their beloved owner after all, and since you take such good care of your Pygmy Triceratops, they want to give you all their love and affection to say thanks.

Thank you for reading, and I hope my guide helps you to have an amazing time with your wonderful new pet! Join me next week for an inside look at the Oviraptors that are being genetically engineered to be a tastier and more ethical substitute for poultry, and the week after that, when I look at and debunk the most popular Jurassic World conspiracy theories!

25 Shocking Questions Buzzfeed Has About Jurassic Park

It’s been a slow few weeks, folks. We’ve only had two new castings for Jurassic World 2: Ancient Futures (?), Ted Levine and Daniella Pineda, and that’s about it. The New York Toy Fair is this month, so hopefully we’ll see some new Mattel Jurassic World toys, but until then this is the best I can give you: Buzzfeed has a trending piece called 25 Questions I Have About “Jurassic Park” Now That I’m An Adult, and I felt compelled to do Alfredo Murillo and his readers a favor by answering all of them.

1. Isn’t a goat too small a meal for a Tyrannosaurus rex?

Not really. T. rex stomachs were more easily filled than you’d think; this was addressed in the original JP novel. But not many people have both read the book and seen the movie, so I wouldn’t expect every single JP viewer to know this.

2. And why didn’t it eat the leg?

T. rex ate by picking up its prey and thrashing it around, so the leg probably just detached and flew off, it wasn’t purposefully omitted.

3. Why were there so few employees in that park?

John Hammond was very proud of how little staff it took to keep the park running. That pride, as we see throughout the rest of the movie, was one of the main reasons the park failed. Hammond liked to brag a lot in the novel about how much the park ran on automation.

4. What exactly is a mathematician supposed to contribute to this journey?

Ian Malcolm was one of the initial consultants on the project; his work in chaos theory applied to biological systems was highly applicable to an unstable system like this park. Malcolm deals with the unpredictable for a living, and Jurassic Park was very unpredictable.

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And does there really need to be a reason to include this face?

5. So people could go to the park and see NOTHING if the dinosaurs didn’t bother to come to the fence?

Probably; I don’t remember the book ever addressing this, but I would assume that park staff would take some kind of measures to make a couple of dinosaurs walk into view if absolutely none of them showed up. In the novel, the hypsilophodonts wouldn’t show their faces until the park’s speaker system played mating calls.

6. If the cars drove themselves, what did they need steering wheels for?

Probably for aesthetic reasons, and/or they just didn’t feel the need to take out the steering wheels when they repurposed the jeeps.

7. Couldn’t they do a better job on Mr. DNA, considering that they had CREATED DINOSAURS?

Can you blame Hammond for allocating more money to the dinosaur budget than the animation budget?

8. How could Alan Grant carry a six-inch raptor claw in his pocket for a whole day and still have a leg?

He probably positioned it in such a way that he wouldn’t stab him, or the claw wasn’t as sharp as it looked.

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Plus you know he does this often enough that he’s figured out how to carry around a claw comfortably– you know, for those times when you need to traumatize kids on the go.

9. Was it necessary for John Hammond to be in every single presentation at the park?

This is yet another factor that shows that the park wasn’t really so well-planned-out after all– more proof that Hammond didn’t think through all of this as much as he says he did.

10. How does Ellie expect to find anything in a five-foot-high pile of dung?

She’s… very dedicated to her work.

11. How the hell does the Dilophosaurus get into Dennis Nedry’s car?

It probably snuck in when Dennis opened the door to get in himself, or broke a window. I seem to recall the old Jurassic Park Legacy site having a more detailed answer to this; it’s archived somewhere if it did, but hell if I know where.

12. And how does the T. rex get into the visitor center for the final scene? Does it duck to fit its head through the door frame?

Rexy actually ducks her head to get through the area of the visitor center that’s still under construction and that’s covered by a transparent tarp– we see one of the raptors enter through there. JPLegacy also had a more detailed explanation of this, although you might have to PM someone on the Jurassic Park Portal Forum to get it.

13. Why didn’t Tim climb in between the wires rather than over them? He clearly could have!

If you look more closely at the wires, it’s actually a tighter squeeze than it looks at first glance, and he might’ve gotten scraped up if he’d tried to climb through. Plus, considering everything Tim’s been through in the past 12 hours, give him a break for having a little lapse in critical thinking.

14. Didn’t they go a little overboard with cooking if they were expecting only six guests?

Hammond probably just wanted to impress them and show that he spared no expense.

15. All right, they cloned the dinosaurs by using blood extracted from mosquitoes, but how the hell did they make the plants?

The (far superior) old Jurassic World website or the original JP novel could’ve given a more definitive answer to this, but Wu and the other scientists probably messed around with the DNA of modern plants that were related to ancient plants. Or, to extrapolate, they could’ve found plant DNA in the preserved stomach contents of herbivorous dinosaurs.

16. What did they tell this guy’s family? (in reference to the man who was eaten by the raptor at the very beginning of the movie)

According to the book, they told everyone who didn’t work for the park that the man was mauled in a machinery accident.

17. Whose idea was it to put explosives next to the enclosure with Velociraptors?

Probably Muldoon, the gamekeeper’s, idea, because he wanted to be able to kill as many raptors as quickly as possible in the event of a breakout.

18. Why are there Velociraptors next to the visitor center?

The raptors were one of the park’s showpieces, and Hammond probably wanted them to be the first thing guests saw when they came to the park.

19. Where the hell is the other half of this helicopter’s seat belt?

The sloppily constructed seatbelts of the helicopter are yet another example of just how poorly-executed Jurassic Park was. There’s also an excellent metaphor in that sequence.

20. What are glasses of water doing on the dashboard of a car?

If I had to guess, the guests probably got little glasses of water at the visitor’s center and just happened to put them on the dashboard. I wouldn’t be surprised if the jeeps didn’t have cupholders, too.

21. Why is the only thing left standing after the T. rex attacks Gennaro the toilet? Were there no sinks?

The sinks were probably attached to the walls, and the walls got knocked to the side; also, the toilet was cemented to the ground in a way that sinks wouldn’t be.

22. And why did they carry flares? Weren’t they a bit too well prepared for the worst case scenario?

The park was prepared for some things but not others, and while Hammond didn’t take every possible precaution for visitor safety, he did take some.

23. Why did the idea that the dinosaurs could change their sex occur to Alan Grant and not to the scientists who created them?

The idea probably did occur to Wu and the scientists, but they thought they’d successfully messed with the dinos’ genes enough to prevent it, that or they weren’t given enough time to do so because of Hammond’s deadlines.

24. How the hell does Alan Grant know that dinosaurs are warm-blooded simply by looking at them?

He doesn’t really know that so much as he guesses it, and he probably guesses it because they don’t look very reptilian.

25. And most importantly, Phil, where the heck were you while the dinosaurs were busy eating people?!

Phil himself has answered this one:

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Apologies to my regular readers for the unimaginitive post; hopefully the Toy Fair and further castings will provide me with something new to report on soon.

The Animated Series That Never Was

The second Jurassic World movie, currently called Ancient Futures, is set to start production in February. But even two months before anything starts, news is starting to trickle in, beginning with the movie’s casting! Of course Bryce Dallas Howard, Chris Pratt and BD Wong will be returning, but we recently got the addition of Justice Smith, who you might recognize from Paper Towns.

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As you can see, he looks like a young Ian Malcolm, and I’d be endlessly thrilled if he turned out to be Ian’s son (maybe Kelly’s brother). According to Chris Pugh on Twitter and dance2nite on the JP Portal Forums, “He is reportedly playing a young scientist/system’s architect named “Clint” who who gets roped into being hired by Masrani Global & hitting a field exercise against his own intuition along with Claire & Owen.” Whether this is true or not, Clint has the potential to be a very, very interesting character– he sounds a bit like Lowery with a little more action thrown in. Toby Jones and Rafe Spall are in talks to join the movie as well, and auditions for the major role of Lucy have reportedly come to a close. Soon enough, we’ll have a near-complete cast list, and hopefully more character details will come out soon after. I’m incredibly hyped for filming to begin and to get back into the cycle of news and speculation that made all of our lives so interesting during the leadup to the first JW! I’m also excited for everyone who joined the fandom after JW came out; they get to experience the excitement of waiting for a new movie for themselves. All of us are going to have such a blast over the next year and a half.

But just as the first inklings of the new movie came out, we also got an unexpected glimpse at the beginning of the trilogy– a part of it that almost happened but never came to be. Everyone lamented the missed opportunity when concept art for the planned Jurassic Park animated series came out, and while we’ll never get to see an actual episode of it, now we know how the series would’ve gone and what might have been. A synopsis of each episode of the planned first season was recently released, which was previously only available to our dad Steven Spielberg and a few select others, but was found and transcribed for us by Chris Pugh of Jurassic Outpost. Even though only the basic concepts of the episodes are written out, the outline is riveting and full of possibilities; it’s too long of a document for me to inspect piece by piece, so read it first, and I’ll cover the parts that intrigued me the most.

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The concept art for Hammond in this series made him look much more like the formidable, cunning, decidedly less grandfather-like version of him from the original novel. This series seems to stick with that interpretation. Movie Hammond was moved by the loss of life and saw the error of his ways, but here he just bounces back and immediately begins amending his scheme, and as we see later, he manipulates both the government and the people who trust him to do so. Another noteworthy thing here is the idea that the island’s population wouldn’t survive with the herbivore-to-carnivore ratio that it had when he left it; that’s an idea that was only officially introduced to the series two years later in the second novel. This outline holds a lot of ideas that either influenced or predicted things that would happen later in the series, in both the novels and movies.

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In this show about dinosaur theme parks and smuggling prehistoric lizards through airport security (more on that later) this is the part that I find the least plausible. The script says that the original trio has their reservations and is haunted by what happened at the park, but Hammond still convinces them to go back and live on the island. Hammond is shown to be a pretty convincing guy when he manipulates people, and Alan and Ellie are still in love with dinosaurs deep down and might be swayed, but never in a million years do I see Ian being convinced to do this. It would take some pretty clever writing to make that believable.

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There’s two Lost World precursors here for the price of one: the idea of Dino Wranglers with special vehicles for dinosaur capture (definitely not just to sell toys or anything, of course not) and the last name Burke, which ended up being given to Richard Burke in the second movie. I wonder if Linda Lee would’ve also been a veiled dig at Robert Bakker, and if she and Richard would’ve been related.

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Episodes 6 through 16 deal largely with a subplot about BioSyn and its competing theme park, DinoWorld, whose structure and ultimate demise bear a striking resemblance to Jurassic World. I wonder if the fourth movie would still have had the plot that it did if this series had aired and evidence of a park exactly like it ending in disaster had existed in canon?

The plots of these episodes are so similar to the first act of the Lost World movie that it’s almost certain that the scripts and outline for this series influenced the movie’s plot, possibly as well as the second novel. A rival team of dinosaur hunters, planning to steal animals from the island to start their own theme park and ultimately succeeding, land on the island and compete with Hammond’s group; two young kids stow away, and the adults try to get them off the island but fail; and several other subtle similarities. I’d bet money that Michael Crichton was one of the people authorized to read this outline and took a few ideas from it, and that Spielberg did the same.

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An aviary was present in the original novel, and the idea of having aquatic predators in the park was probably tossed around since the beginning, so I can’t really say that this predicted or influenced the aviary scene in JP3 or the mosasaur in JW. I only brought this up because of what a tragedy it is that we almost didn’t have to wait 22 years to see a mosasaur in the franchise. We could’ve had high-quality Kenner mosasaur toys. The queen could’ve ruled our hearts with fear for so much longer.

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But then again, I wouldn’t have had the chance to see this in a movie theater and scream myself deaf.

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I love angst almost as much as I love Ian Malcolm, so naturally this would interest me, but this would also be a really interesting bit of character development to see play out. I would definitely read a fanfiction that novelized this outline, but I’d also love a story about Ian surrounding himself with computers to hide from the fact that he’s surrounded by the dinosaurs from his nightmares, working on a system he knows is doomed to fail, losing more and more hope every day as he calculates exactly how small the potential for success and survival is.

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Actually, maybe it’s a good thing that this show never aired, because these babies are all I would ever talk, think or write about. If you think I’m too obsessed with baby dinosaurs as it is, imagine if there had been episodes entirely about several species of hatchlings being born and played with.

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Alas, this is all I have to keep me awake at night.

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This show wasn’t meant to be a Saturday morning kids’ cartoon, but Hammond’s characterization being the same as it was in the book, combined with the presence of the compies that killed him in said book, sets the stage for the kind of gruesome death that I would be surprised to see even in a cartoon from the less-sensitive ‘9os.

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In true novel fashion, the show would’ve put its plot on hold for a full episode about philosophy. And I can see Alan and Ellie pondering these things, but Ian would promptly answer all of these questions with “Hell no.”

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After dinosaurs from DinoWorld escape to the mainland and start killing people in villages, a nod to the first novel, the trio looks over the ruins of the park. This sounds like a precursor to the TLW and JP3 scenes in the abandoned worker’s villages on Isla Sorna, but it also sounds like an interesting idea for a scene in the beginning of the next JW movie. Trevorrow has said that the next film won’t be set on an island, but that doesn’t mean our heroes or the military couldn’t have a quick scene where they walked through the abandoned and overgrown Main Street, possibly being attacked by a raptor pack afterward as a warning to all who would dare infringe on Rexy’s territory. It wouldn’t be essential to the plot, but it could tie the second movie in with the first in the new trilogy, and it’d be a visual treat if done right.

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Here’s yet another scene that could’ve lent ideas to both TLW and JW. Is it possible that Trevorrow looked over this outline a couple of years ago? It wouldn’t be a bad thing if he had; it would actually be heartwarming to know that the true inspiration for JW had come from the very beginning of the franchise, and that the new trilogy was partly meant to show us concepts from this series that we didn’t get to see.

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After several interesting descriptions of dinosaur attacks, it’s pretty disappointing and seems tacked-on to have that story arc end with this. It also seems impossible– “six or seven young T. rexes, about fifty raptors, a couple of deadly dilophosaurs” all got caught by by a little group of T. Rex Turners, and not a single one of them got gored or met the business end of a sickle claw? The end of the series is well-done, but it would be better to put that off for a little while in favor of a more plausible conclusion to the dinosaurs-on-the-mainland arc.

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The implications of rare and exotic dinosaurs escaping to the mainland are somewhat explored here, and hopefully they’re also shown in the next JW movie– it’s a concept that the fandom has speculated on for a long, long time. Also, sneaking a baby dinosaur through the airport is 100% something I would do and risk jail time for.

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Other than the baby dinosaur shenanigans, this is the part that most makes me regret that this series never aired. Even from the sparse description here, there’s so much emotion and so many conflicting ideas– the audience, the kids and the original trio all feel somewhat betrayed by the park opening to the public despite what happened in the movie, but it’s also thrilling to see Hammond’s dream come true and a fantastic dinosaur park open to the world. In other words, it’s exactly the way we all felt when it was first announced that JW would feature a fully operational dinosaur theme park. There’s no doubt that this would lead to a very interesting second season. Ian, Alan and Ellie might begin actively working against the park if they weren’t forced under contract to continue working with it. Dodgson might make another attempt to create his own park. When the park started up, Hammond might find that he hadn’t taken as many necessary safety measures as he thought he had, and guests might end up getting eaten sooner rather than later. This series and its ending were so full of possibilities, and it’s a crying shame that this is likely all we’ll ever see of it.

I’m sure I’m with the majority of the fandom when I say I’d give an arm and a leg to see this series produced, or at least watch the trailer that exists in some hidden archive somewhere. If the show had been made, the rest of the franchise might have been drastically different; The Lost World might’ve had a different plot, and Jurassic World would likely have been handled far, far differently because of this show’s example of what an operational dinosaur park would likely look like. If Jurassic World ever gets its own TV series, animated or live-action, I hope it takes a few notes from the JP cartoon that never was.

If you want more Jurassic World while we all gear up for the second movie in the trilogy, take a look at the portfolio of the graphic artist for JW, Ellen Lampl! Cosplayers should take advantage of the Henry Wu name badge. This, of course, is my favorite part:

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Eternal thanks to Mike Jenkins for showing me this beautiful look into the more minute details of Jurassic World!