Tag Archives: Ian Malcolm

A Football-Field Sized Load of News

 

Important notice: from today onwards, every Jurassic World 2 news-centered post that I write will most likely contain at least one spoiler, or speculation that could be considered spoilers. If avoiding spoilers for this movie is a concern for you, go no further.

Boy, have I been neglecting Jurassic World 2 news. Part of it is that it’s been coming in small bits that wouldn’t warrant entire posts, and part of it is that college is doing its absolute best to kill me with work. In any case, here’s one big update on what we know about JW2 so far.

As you may have seen from last night’s post and/or my participation on Twitter in what I’ve come to call the Blumpocalypse, the casting that I’m most excited for is that Jeff Goldblum will be returning to the movie to reprise his role as Ian Malcolm! I’ll get to that in a little bit. Some others who have been cast in the movie are Daniella Pineda from The Detour, Ted Levine from Silence of the Lambs, Rafe Spall from Prometheus, Toby Jones from the Captain America series and Geraldine Chaplin from Nashville; I sincerely hope Geraldine isn’t there to play Ian’s love interest or wife (especially since she’s a very capable actress and deserves a better role than that) but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Another casting is James Cromwell, who will be playing “Benjamin Lockwood”, who apparently was Hammond’s business partner and helped him develop the dinosaur-cloning technology. That’s pretty intriguing and shows us that, despite the production team’s insistence that this movie will go in a different direction and won’t be like the rest of the movies, not taking place on an island etc. (which isn’t entirely true– despite the overall tone of the movie, filming is taking place in Hawaii and Rexy will definitely make another appearance, so I think it’s safe to say we’ll see Nublar at some point) they’re really looking to connect this movie with the first JP by bringing back an original-trilogy character and someone connected to another original-trilogy character. Whether that’s because the theme of this movie has a lot to do with that of the first movie or if it’s just because of the movie’s goal of “reintroducing the franchise to a new generation” as well as drawing in audiences with nostalgia, it’ll be a delicate thing to pull off. Hopefully it’ll come across as a “ties to the original trilogy without exploiting it” type of thing, like The Force Awakens, instead of just blatant cashing in on nostalgia. Trevorrow and Spielberg pulled that off wonderfully in the first movie, so I definitely trust them to do it with this one.

And speaking of the movie’s theme, here’s a very interesting quote from Trevorrow:

“The dinosaurs will be a parable of the treatment animals receive today: the abuse, medical experimentation, pets, having wild animals in zoos like prisons, the use the military has made of them, animals as weapons. The second part will be a very different, more complex movie that will explore new paths. For that reason, it was clear that it needed to be Bayona who would direct it, in order to have it grow and evolve with his very personal vision.”

So we’ll definitely have a plot centering around dinosaurs on the mainland, at least for the first half of the movie! I have to say, I really wish they would focus more on world-building, showing what a society with dinosaurs in it would look like and how it would be different from the world today– showing its dark sides, of course, but also adding a touch of the magic and excitement that came with the part of Jurassic World where Zach and Grey explored the park and showed what it was generally like there. I’m sure the part of the movie being discussed here won’t just be a PETA (PETD? Ethical treatment of dinosaurs?) montage of dinosaurs suffering, it’ll be much more nuanced than that. And animal abuse and exploitation are most definitely issues that movies should address, and that a huge movie like this has the power to spur some real change with. It’s a noble goal and I have no doubt that Trevorrow, Bayona and his team will create a thoughtful movie that addresses the often-overlooked side effects of the idea of cloning dinosaurs (something particularly relevant now that de-extincting animals is being seriously looked into). I just personally don’t want to see my beloved dinosaurs being hurt and exploited, that’s all. I’m sure they’ll eat some people and get their revenge.

Now let’s take a look at some pictures of the film’s sets! The one we’ve seen the most of has been what I previously thought was a museum, but which Jurassic Outpost refers to as a mansion, most likely Benjamin Lockwood’s. We saw it already in this photo:

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Cromwell refers to it as “a football field sized set with real recreations of dinosaurs”, and obviously a lot of work has gone into it. Lockwood obviously cares a lot about dinosaurs (has he just been sitting there for 24 years, collecting dinosaurs and pondering the philosophy of the various dinosaur-related incidents? Considering most if not all of what happened was Hammond’s fault, I sure hope he isn’t too guilty about helping develop that cloning technology) and it seems likely that he’ll help do something about the rampant dino exploitation and abuse that’s probably happening all over the world. I think the photo above is from a scene where Lucy goes to draw Lockwood out of seclusion and get him to help with whatever dinosaur-rights cause she’s involved in, or whatever new disaster has just unfolded. In any case, we’ll be seeing a lot of this expensive-looking mansion set. Here’s another couple of peeks at it:

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Jurassic Outpost speculates that the dinosaur in the first image is a Metriacanthosaurus. At first glance I thought it was just a life-sized statue that was a part of Lockwood’s collection, but it’s also entirely possible that it’s our first look at the movie’s animatronics! It seems really unlikely to me that they’d painstakingly construct such a beautiful set and then not have at least one big dinosaur rampage through it, so maybe we’ll see Metriacanthosaurus and possibly a friend or two run around the mansion and knock down Lockwood’s precious collectibles. That or he keeps a giant carnivorous dinosaur as a pet, which honestly wouldn’t surprise me– every single person reading this would absolutely do the same thing if they were rich and lived in this universe. The second picture, captioned “Background tease” on Twitter, is also intriguing and could depict either life-sized statues or a couple of dinosaurs throwing hands (claws?) in the mansion. If it’s a storyboard involving a scene with animatronics, this is a major spoiler and likely shows an Indominus vs. Spinosaurus battle which, in my opinion, is kind of a cheesy thing to do unless it’s the climax of the movie and a lot of good context has led up to it. With all the talk of how different this sequel will be from the rest of the movies, I think it deserves a better ending than just “here’s two big dinosaurs, let’s watch them fight”, which Jurassic World pulled off with style but which has the potential to turn very B-movie very fast. Again, I trust the production team not to do anything stupid, and I also sincerely doubt they’d just throw up a huge spoiler like that, especially so early in production. I’m sure we’ll see more and more of the mansion set in the coming months, so we’ll see whether the animals in those pictures are “real” dinos or just oversized collectible figures.

Far away from the mansion, another set is being built in Hawaii, in an area that was shown in both the first movie and Jurassic World:

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It’s too early in its construction to tell for sure what the structure is, but my personal guess is that it’ll be used to hold and/or capture Rexy. That’s just my idea, though, and I’m really excited for the Queen of Nublar’s return, so I’m kinda seeing what I want to see. Another interesting set piece is a transport truck outside London with a dino-sized cage on top of it:

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Again, according to my own wishful thinking, this might be a vehicle that carries Rexy to the mainland, or some other dinosaur around for a company or something. There’s not too much else that can be inferred from a transport truck, but I’m sure it’ll be part of an interesting scene.

Last but certainly not least, we have the first footage from the film’s set! Two clips have emerged, both involving a helicopter ride at night. The first one shows the helicopter taking off:

And the second shows the journey’s abrupt and rather unpleasant end, as it hangs precariously from a branch during a thunderstorm:

The first place everyone’s mind went to when they saw this was that Henry Wu’s helicopter ride from the end of Jurassic World didn’t go as planned. It’s also entirely possible that this isn’t the case, because for companies and the military to get a hold of dinosaur cloning technology and the necessary genomes for it, somebody had to have delivered them the materials for it, and the only people who we saw headed off the island with that material was Henry Wu and his team. Also, the helicopter is seen here taking off from a distinctly non-Nublar location, so it might have nothing to do with Wu at all. Although it could be argued that Wu might deserve to get his helicopter crashed and then be picked off by a dinosaur because of his conspiracy with Hoskins and subsequent role in creating the environment that allowed all of that dinosaur abuse to happen, it doesn’t seem to me like that’s what’ll happen to him.

Those two bits of footage, the set photos, and whatever the production team and cast decide to grace us with on social media are all the concrete details we have so far on the movie. Aside from waiting for details to come from the studio bit by bit, the only other way we have to find out more about the movie is fan investigation by people who happen to be near the many filming locations. Of course, Universal Pictures doesn’t want leaks, and we should respect that by not covertly going near sets and taking whatever photos or videos we can. To be clear, I am absolutely not endorsing that Jurassic Park fans near Langley Business Center in Slough, England, Brecon Beacons National Park in Wales, Kaui in Hawaii, or Pinewood Studios in England should find their way near sets and wait with a cell phone camera for even a tiny detail that would benefit the fandom greatly. Indeed, it would be a terrible tragedy if someone in one of those places answered a casting call for extras and reported what they saw and heard, especially to me as a scoop for my blog. I sure would hate to go against Universal’s wishes by encouraging people to go out and find out whatever they can about this movie we’re anticipating so much, so don’t do it, guys.

Now that I’ve discussed all the other news, a word about the speculation that’s kept me awake and hyperactive for almost 12 hours now: the return of Ian Malcolm. I and many others have wanted this to happen for a long time, but I never thought it would actually happen. The dream came true last night, though, so it’s time to kick off more than a year of anticipation by making some predictions about Ian’s role in the new movie. I think we can take it as a matter of fact that Ian’s probably opposed to this whole “dinosaurs on the mainland” thing; at the very least I think he’ll be there as one of the people who’s seen plenty of disasters or problems like the one that’ll likely unfold in the movie, and who can provide advice and warnings– again, like Han Solo in Force Awakens. (I will be quite upset if he dies, but hopefully he won’t and it’s too early to worry about that anyway.) It’s also possible that he’ll be a dinosaur rights activist, either having done it ever since the animals started being used in industry or spurred into it by other characters. (I’ve wanted to write a story about him being a DRA for a while now, and maybe this will be my encouragement to do it.) I really hope they don’t just have him there as a grumpy old man who delivers dire warnings to the characters before withdrawing back into whatever mental state he’s in after all that the Jurassic World incident and subsequent stuff put him through. Probably nobody could pay him enough to be involved in whatever part of the plot involves going back to Nublar, so most of what he does will likely involve the mainland and the dinos on it, and hopefully he won’t get attacked by any more dinosaurs while he’s there– the poor guy’s been through enough. Personally, I hope we get to see the details of how he’s doing these days, whether he got his tenure back or retired, and whether he used the cash he’s probably swimming in from book sales and public appearances to buy a mansion. More than anything, I really just want this movie to show Ian having a happy life, even if only at the beginning. I genuinely care about him a lot, and after all he’s been through, he deserves some peace. I’m not saying he’ll necessarily get it, but I hope he does.

I sincerely think that at least part of the reason that this movie is bringing Ian back is because he’s related to one of the new characters, most likely as one of their fathers. I’ve said before that Justice Smith looks a lot like a young Ian, and Daniela Pineda looks about the right age to have been a child in 1993. Having an old-trilogy character’s kid be a protagonist in the sequel is a pretty kid-movie thing to do, but it would certainly fit in with the theme of tying this movie to the first one with characters, as well as in reviving Jurassic Park for a new generation. It would also fill the classic Jurassic Park requirement of having some kind of dysfunctional family dynamic in the movie if Ian and one of his estranged kids were on an adventure together (again). The idea is just speculation at this point, but it seems pretty likely to me. A lot of people in the fandom think that Lowery is Ian’s kid because of his echoing of Ian’s philosophy and his similar looks, but since Jake Johnson has been confirmed not to be in this movie, that probably won’t be confirmed aside from a passing mention if it’s true at all. It’s also possible that Lucy is his daughter or granddaughter, but I’m starting to wonder if she has some kind of relation to Hammond or Lockwood. In casting calls for the part, her exact age was very important, so I’m thinking that she was born at a very certain time on the movies’ timeline, possibly meaning she has to do with another important character. I kind of doubt that Ian would let any kid of his have anything to do with Lockwood or dinosaurs, though, so unless she’s as rebellious and curious as Kelly, I think she probably isn’t a Malcolm.

As you may be able to tell, I’m really, really hyped for JW2 and the return of the chaotician I love so dearly. It looks like I’ll be updating more often as news rolls in, so stick around for more news about The Ian Malcolm Movie (And A Couple Dinosaurs Too)!

25 Shocking Questions Buzzfeed Has About Jurassic Park

It’s been a slow few weeks, folks. We’ve only had two new castings for Jurassic World 2: Ancient Futures (?), Ted Levine and Daniella Pineda, and that’s about it. The New York Toy Fair is this month, so hopefully we’ll see some new Mattel Jurassic World toys, but until then this is the best I can give you: Buzzfeed has a trending piece called 25 Questions I Have About “Jurassic Park” Now That I’m An Adult, and I felt compelled to do Alfredo Murillo and his readers a favor by answering all of them.

1. Isn’t a goat too small a meal for a Tyrannosaurus rex?

Not really. T. rex stomachs were more easily filled than you’d think; this was addressed in the original JP novel. But not many people have both read the book and seen the movie, so I wouldn’t expect every single JP viewer to know this.

2. And why didn’t it eat the leg?

T. rex ate by picking up its prey and thrashing it around, so the leg probably just detached and flew off, it wasn’t purposefully omitted.

3. Why were there so few employees in that park?

John Hammond was very proud of how little staff it took to keep the park running. That pride, as we see throughout the rest of the movie, was one of the main reasons the park failed. Hammond liked to brag a lot in the novel about how much the park ran on automation.

4. What exactly is a mathematician supposed to contribute to this journey?

Ian Malcolm was one of the initial consultants on the project; his work in chaos theory applied to biological systems was highly applicable to an unstable system like this park. Malcolm deals with the unpredictable for a living, and Jurassic Park was very unpredictable.

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And does there really need to be a reason to include this face?

5. So people could go to the park and see NOTHING if the dinosaurs didn’t bother to come to the fence?

Probably; I don’t remember the book ever addressing this, but I would assume that park staff would take some kind of measures to make a couple of dinosaurs walk into view if absolutely none of them showed up. In the novel, the hypsilophodonts wouldn’t show their faces until the park’s speaker system played mating calls.

6. If the cars drove themselves, what did they need steering wheels for?

Probably for aesthetic reasons, and/or they just didn’t feel the need to take out the steering wheels when they repurposed the jeeps.

7. Couldn’t they do a better job on Mr. DNA, considering that they had CREATED DINOSAURS?

Can you blame Hammond for allocating more money to the dinosaur budget than the animation budget?

8. How could Alan Grant carry a six-inch raptor claw in his pocket for a whole day and still have a leg?

He probably positioned it in such a way that he wouldn’t stab him, or the claw wasn’t as sharp as it looked.

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Plus you know he does this often enough that he’s figured out how to carry around a claw comfortably– you know, for those times when you need to traumatize kids on the go.

9. Was it necessary for John Hammond to be in every single presentation at the park?

This is yet another factor that shows that the park wasn’t really so well-planned-out after all– more proof that Hammond didn’t think through all of this as much as he says he did.

10. How does Ellie expect to find anything in a five-foot-high pile of dung?

She’s… very dedicated to her work.

11. How the hell does the Dilophosaurus get into Dennis Nedry’s car?

It probably snuck in when Dennis opened the door to get in himself, or broke a window. I seem to recall the old Jurassic Park Legacy site having a more detailed answer to this; it’s archived somewhere if it did, but hell if I know where.

12. And how does the T. rex get into the visitor center for the final scene? Does it duck to fit its head through the door frame?

Rexy actually ducks her head to get through the area of the visitor center that’s still under construction and that’s covered by a transparent tarp– we see one of the raptors enter through there. JPLegacy also had a more detailed explanation of this, although you might have to PM someone on the Jurassic Park Portal Forum to get it.

13. Why didn’t Tim climb in between the wires rather than over them? He clearly could have!

If you look more closely at the wires, it’s actually a tighter squeeze than it looks at first glance, and he might’ve gotten scraped up if he’d tried to climb through. Plus, considering everything Tim’s been through in the past 12 hours, give him a break for having a little lapse in critical thinking.

14. Didn’t they go a little overboard with cooking if they were expecting only six guests?

Hammond probably just wanted to impress them and show that he spared no expense.

15. All right, they cloned the dinosaurs by using blood extracted from mosquitoes, but how the hell did they make the plants?

The (far superior) old Jurassic World website or the original JP novel could’ve given a more definitive answer to this, but Wu and the other scientists probably messed around with the DNA of modern plants that were related to ancient plants. Or, to extrapolate, they could’ve found plant DNA in the preserved stomach contents of herbivorous dinosaurs.

16. What did they tell this guy’s family? (in reference to the man who was eaten by the raptor at the very beginning of the movie)

According to the book, they told everyone who didn’t work for the park that the man was mauled in a machinery accident.

17. Whose idea was it to put explosives next to the enclosure with Velociraptors?

Probably Muldoon, the gamekeeper’s, idea, because he wanted to be able to kill as many raptors as quickly as possible in the event of a breakout.

18. Why are there Velociraptors next to the visitor center?

The raptors were one of the park’s showpieces, and Hammond probably wanted them to be the first thing guests saw when they came to the park.

19. Where the hell is the other half of this helicopter’s seat belt?

The sloppily constructed seatbelts of the helicopter are yet another example of just how poorly-executed Jurassic Park was. There’s also an excellent metaphor in that sequence.

20. What are glasses of water doing on the dashboard of a car?

If I had to guess, the guests probably got little glasses of water at the visitor’s center and just happened to put them on the dashboard. I wouldn’t be surprised if the jeeps didn’t have cupholders, too.

21. Why is the only thing left standing after the T. rex attacks Gennaro the toilet? Were there no sinks?

The sinks were probably attached to the walls, and the walls got knocked to the side; also, the toilet was cemented to the ground in a way that sinks wouldn’t be.

22. And why did they carry flares? Weren’t they a bit too well prepared for the worst case scenario?

The park was prepared for some things but not others, and while Hammond didn’t take every possible precaution for visitor safety, he did take some.

23. Why did the idea that the dinosaurs could change their sex occur to Alan Grant and not to the scientists who created them?

The idea probably did occur to Wu and the scientists, but they thought they’d successfully messed with the dinos’ genes enough to prevent it, that or they weren’t given enough time to do so because of Hammond’s deadlines.

24. How the hell does Alan Grant know that dinosaurs are warm-blooded simply by looking at them?

He doesn’t really know that so much as he guesses it, and he probably guesses it because they don’t look very reptilian.

25. And most importantly, Phil, where the heck were you while the dinosaurs were busy eating people?!

Phil himself has answered this one:

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Apologies to my regular readers for the unimaginitive post; hopefully the Toy Fair and further castings will provide me with something new to report on soon.

The Animated Series That Never Was

The second Jurassic World movie, currently called Ancient Futures, is set to start production in February. But even two months before anything starts, news is starting to trickle in, beginning with the movie’s casting! Of course Bryce Dallas Howard, Chris Pratt and BD Wong will be returning, but we recently got the addition of Justice Smith, who you might recognize from Paper Towns.

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As you can see, he looks like a young Ian Malcolm, and I’d be endlessly thrilled if he turned out to be Ian’s son (maybe Kelly’s brother). According to Chris Pugh on Twitter and dance2nite on the JP Portal Forums, “He is reportedly playing a young scientist/system’s architect named “Clint” who who gets roped into being hired by Masrani Global & hitting a field exercise against his own intuition along with Claire & Owen.” Whether this is true or not, Clint has the potential to be a very, very interesting character– he sounds a bit like Lowery with a little more action thrown in. Toby Jones and Rafe Spall are in talks to join the movie as well, and auditions for the major role of Lucy have reportedly come to a close. Soon enough, we’ll have a near-complete cast list, and hopefully more character details will come out soon after. I’m incredibly hyped for filming to begin and to get back into the cycle of news and speculation that made all of our lives so interesting during the leadup to the first JW! I’m also excited for everyone who joined the fandom after JW came out; they get to experience the excitement of waiting for a new movie for themselves. All of us are going to have such a blast over the next year and a half.

But just as the first inklings of the new movie came out, we also got an unexpected glimpse at the beginning of the trilogy– a part of it that almost happened but never came to be. Everyone lamented the missed opportunity when concept art for the planned Jurassic Park animated series came out, and while we’ll never get to see an actual episode of it, now we know how the series would’ve gone and what might have been. A synopsis of each episode of the planned first season was recently released, which was previously only available to our dad Steven Spielberg and a few select others, but was found and transcribed for us by Chris Pugh of Jurassic Outpost. Even though only the basic concepts of the episodes are written out, the outline is riveting and full of possibilities; it’s too long of a document for me to inspect piece by piece, so read it first, and I’ll cover the parts that intrigued me the most.

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The concept art for Hammond in this series made him look much more like the formidable, cunning, decidedly less grandfather-like version of him from the original novel. This series seems to stick with that interpretation. Movie Hammond was moved by the loss of life and saw the error of his ways, but here he just bounces back and immediately begins amending his scheme, and as we see later, he manipulates both the government and the people who trust him to do so. Another noteworthy thing here is the idea that the island’s population wouldn’t survive with the herbivore-to-carnivore ratio that it had when he left it; that’s an idea that was only officially introduced to the series two years later in the second novel. This outline holds a lot of ideas that either influenced or predicted things that would happen later in the series, in both the novels and movies.

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In this show about dinosaur theme parks and smuggling prehistoric lizards through airport security (more on that later) this is the part that I find the least plausible. The script says that the original trio has their reservations and is haunted by what happened at the park, but Hammond still convinces them to go back and live on the island. Hammond is shown to be a pretty convincing guy when he manipulates people, and Alan and Ellie are still in love with dinosaurs deep down and might be swayed, but never in a million years do I see Ian being convinced to do this. It would take some pretty clever writing to make that believable.

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There’s two Lost World precursors here for the price of one: the idea of Dino Wranglers with special vehicles for dinosaur capture (definitely not just to sell toys or anything, of course not) and the last name Burke, which ended up being given to Richard Burke in the second movie. I wonder if Linda Lee would’ve also been a veiled dig at Robert Bakker, and if she and Richard would’ve been related.

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Episodes 6 through 16 deal largely with a subplot about BioSyn and its competing theme park, DinoWorld, whose structure and ultimate demise bear a striking resemblance to Jurassic World. I wonder if the fourth movie would still have had the plot that it did if this series had aired and evidence of a park exactly like it ending in disaster had existed in canon?

The plots of these episodes are so similar to the first act of the Lost World movie that it’s almost certain that the scripts and outline for this series influenced the movie’s plot, possibly as well as the second novel. A rival team of dinosaur hunters, planning to steal animals from the island to start their own theme park and ultimately succeeding, land on the island and compete with Hammond’s group; two young kids stow away, and the adults try to get them off the island but fail; and several other subtle similarities. I’d bet money that Michael Crichton was one of the people authorized to read this outline and took a few ideas from it, and that Spielberg did the same.

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An aviary was present in the original novel, and the idea of having aquatic predators in the park was probably tossed around since the beginning, so I can’t really say that this predicted or influenced the aviary scene in JP3 or the mosasaur in JW. I only brought this up because of what a tragedy it is that we almost didn’t have to wait 22 years to see a mosasaur in the franchise. We could’ve had high-quality Kenner mosasaur toys. The queen could’ve ruled our hearts with fear for so much longer.

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But then again, I wouldn’t have had the chance to see this in a movie theater and scream myself deaf.

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I love angst almost as much as I love Ian Malcolm, so naturally this would interest me, but this would also be a really interesting bit of character development to see play out. I would definitely read a fanfiction that novelized this outline, but I’d also love a story about Ian surrounding himself with computers to hide from the fact that he’s surrounded by the dinosaurs from his nightmares, working on a system he knows is doomed to fail, losing more and more hope every day as he calculates exactly how small the potential for success and survival is.

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Actually, maybe it’s a good thing that this show never aired, because these babies are all I would ever talk, think or write about. If you think I’m too obsessed with baby dinosaurs as it is, imagine if there had been episodes entirely about several species of hatchlings being born and played with.

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Alas, this is all I have to keep me awake at night.

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This show wasn’t meant to be a Saturday morning kids’ cartoon, but Hammond’s characterization being the same as it was in the book, combined with the presence of the compies that killed him in said book, sets the stage for the kind of gruesome death that I would be surprised to see even in a cartoon from the less-sensitive ‘9os.

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In true novel fashion, the show would’ve put its plot on hold for a full episode about philosophy. And I can see Alan and Ellie pondering these things, but Ian would promptly answer all of these questions with “Hell no.”

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After dinosaurs from DinoWorld escape to the mainland and start killing people in villages, a nod to the first novel, the trio looks over the ruins of the park. This sounds like a precursor to the TLW and JP3 scenes in the abandoned worker’s villages on Isla Sorna, but it also sounds like an interesting idea for a scene in the beginning of the next JW movie. Trevorrow has said that the next film won’t be set on an island, but that doesn’t mean our heroes or the military couldn’t have a quick scene where they walked through the abandoned and overgrown Main Street, possibly being attacked by a raptor pack afterward as a warning to all who would dare infringe on Rexy’s territory. It wouldn’t be essential to the plot, but it could tie the second movie in with the first in the new trilogy, and it’d be a visual treat if done right.

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Here’s yet another scene that could’ve lent ideas to both TLW and JW. Is it possible that Trevorrow looked over this outline a couple of years ago? It wouldn’t be a bad thing if he had; it would actually be heartwarming to know that the true inspiration for JW had come from the very beginning of the franchise, and that the new trilogy was partly meant to show us concepts from this series that we didn’t get to see.

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After several interesting descriptions of dinosaur attacks, it’s pretty disappointing and seems tacked-on to have that story arc end with this. It also seems impossible– “six or seven young T. rexes, about fifty raptors, a couple of deadly dilophosaurs” all got caught by by a little group of T. Rex Turners, and not a single one of them got gored or met the business end of a sickle claw? The end of the series is well-done, but it would be better to put that off for a little while in favor of a more plausible conclusion to the dinosaurs-on-the-mainland arc.

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The implications of rare and exotic dinosaurs escaping to the mainland are somewhat explored here, and hopefully they’re also shown in the next JW movie– it’s a concept that the fandom has speculated on for a long, long time. Also, sneaking a baby dinosaur through the airport is 100% something I would do and risk jail time for.

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Other than the baby dinosaur shenanigans, this is the part that most makes me regret that this series never aired. Even from the sparse description here, there’s so much emotion and so many conflicting ideas– the audience, the kids and the original trio all feel somewhat betrayed by the park opening to the public despite what happened in the movie, but it’s also thrilling to see Hammond’s dream come true and a fantastic dinosaur park open to the world. In other words, it’s exactly the way we all felt when it was first announced that JW would feature a fully operational dinosaur theme park. There’s no doubt that this would lead to a very interesting second season. Ian, Alan and Ellie might begin actively working against the park if they weren’t forced under contract to continue working with it. Dodgson might make another attempt to create his own park. When the park started up, Hammond might find that he hadn’t taken as many necessary safety measures as he thought he had, and guests might end up getting eaten sooner rather than later. This series and its ending were so full of possibilities, and it’s a crying shame that this is likely all we’ll ever see of it.

I’m sure I’m with the majority of the fandom when I say I’d give an arm and a leg to see this series produced, or at least watch the trailer that exists in some hidden archive somewhere. If the show had been made, the rest of the franchise might have been drastically different; The Lost World might’ve had a different plot, and Jurassic World would likely have been handled far, far differently because of this show’s example of what an operational dinosaur park would likely look like. If Jurassic World ever gets its own TV series, animated or live-action, I hope it takes a few notes from the JP cartoon that never was.

If you want more Jurassic World while we all gear up for the second movie in the trilogy, take a look at the portfolio of the graphic artist for JW, Ellen Lampl! Cosplayers should take advantage of the Henry Wu name badge. This, of course, is my favorite part:

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Eternal thanks to Mike Jenkins for showing me this beautiful look into the more minute details of Jurassic World!

Rexy Eats the Georgia Guidestones

Housekeeping note: This may not be JP-related, but it was fun, and there’s not much news to report on at the moment anyway. Also, this is my last week at home before moving away to college, so there may be yet another break in posting while I adjust to this environment of terror and loud frat boys. When there’s more JW2 news, I’ll start updating on a consistent basis again. Thank you so much for your patience. It’s readers like you who have kept this blog going for so long, and I appreciate you.

Today, Rexy and I had an adventure! The same T. rex who consumed everything in sight in Italy came with me today to visit a mysterious monument called the Georgia Guidestones. We came just to explore, but in the end, we discovered a world-shaking secret that explained everything about a 30-year-old enigma.

For those of you who don’t know what the Guidestones are, it’s a granite monument constructed in the 80s by an anonymous man under the name R.C. Christian. It has ten commandments, in several world languages, instructing how to maintain humanity after a global crisis. (They hint strongly at eugenics and mass genocide, so maybe take them with a grain of salt.) It’s constructed with respects to astronomy– the center is supposed to to be the location of a “celestial pole”, etc. Conspiracy theorists and believers in New World Order-type shenanigans tend to think that the monument was built by Satanists, the Illuminati, or some combination of the two. It’s never been made entirely clear who’s responsible, but regardless, its construction is pretty clever.

The reason Rexy and I went today was because of a part of the monument that’s now missing. A few years ago, a cube was integrated with the slab that had the commandments in English; the cube’s four sides had 8-14-20-16 on them in that order. This has led more than a few people to think that it was a sinister prophecy for tomorrow, August 14th of 2016. Whether that means that the apocalypse is really coming tomorrow (how horrible would that be? We’d all die before we got to see a JW sequel) it was worth a visit to “American Stonehenge” to see for sure. Unfortunately, the cube was stolen not too long ago by a Guidestones superfan. These things happen.

Cube or no cube, it was still amazing:

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And my curious little T. rex enjoyed it even more than I did! She started by reading the explanatory slab near the stones which, despite the fact that it was supposed to be all solemn and ominous, had multiple spelling and grammar errors and left an important sentence (when to dig up the time capsule buried under the stones) unfinished.

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Then she moved on to see the rest of “the ten commandments of the Antichrist”.

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Despite the nastiness of some of the other commandments, I thought this one had a pretty good point. It read like something from a Thoreau poem.

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Rexy has always been really interested in aliens, especially because of the idea that they caused the extinction of her species. She wanted to visit the Guidestones because of her idea that extraterrestrial beings had written these commandments designed to wipe out 93% of the human species. So imagine her surprise when, in the gravel on the ground, someone had carved the symbol of the sphere from Independence Day:  Resurgence.

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I didn’t draw this for the purpose of this post. Someone else did before we got there.

No sooner had she started to wonder about its origin, when suddenly, a mysterious creature jumped down the celestial pole hole! 0813161602

It was the leader of those responsible for the monument– the mastermind behind it all. Rexy was right all along. It was a malevolent alien queen!

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The creature revealed its species’ evil plan to us. Tomorrow, they would invade the planet and pretend to show an aversion to the Guidestones and everything associated with them, making humanity think that following the stones’ commandments was somehow a way to beat them. Once only 50 million humans remained, and nature was left alone, the planet would be theirs for the taking!

Rexy, simultaneously terrified and roaring that she’d been right all along, ran away, but the alien reached out its tendrils and tried to grab her. Being a roadrunner from hell, Rexy was fast enough to get away from the telepathic monster for a while. But she couldn’t run forever, and she ended up nearly collapsing in front of the English stone. But right when she thought all hope was lost and the alien was preparing its tendrils for a good old fashioned Okun-ing, another strange visitor jumped through the center of the monument and held off the creature.

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It was David Levinson, alien fighter and Earth-Space Defense director, here to save the day! Using his special training in anti-alien martial arts and his knowledge of their anatomy and weak spots, he delivered the smackdown before Rexy and I even knew what was happening.

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With a battle cry of “LEAVE ROOM FOR NATURE!” David swiftly and thoroughly beat the intruder into the ground, averting an invasion and saving the earth once again. With the alien defeated, we could finally relax knowing that the earth wouldn’t be annihilated, and humanity was still free to slowly destroy this planet with deforestation and global warming as much as we pleased. But, as we prepared to leave, yet another visitor came from the sky!

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I recognized this one as Ian Malcolm immediately, and while the chaotician from space said that I was right, he also said that he was far from the only Ian Malcolm in the galaxy. Rexy and I were shocked when the visitors revealed to us that they were, in fact, part of an alien race themselves!

They explained to us that they came from a peaceful planet, populated by an extraterrestrial race known as the Goldblums. These benevolent creatures, they said, have the ability to see into the future. Having discovered Earth and seeing a disaster in its future, they took pity on the human race and decided to give us instructions as to how to handle an enormous global crisis that wiped out a huge portion of the population. They couldn’t reveal to anyone what that disaster could be– it was against the strong moral code of their species– but they could give us hints as best they could. These beings knew that they would be rejected and feared if they revealed themselves to the general population of Earth now. After the catastrophe hit, however, they would come back and usher in the “age of reason” that the guidestones spoke of– a time of peace, enlightenment and widespread piano-playing, where no one would be under six feet tall or speak without a stutter.

This sounded ridiculous to me, but the two Goldblums showed us proof that they were behind the Guidestones, and that the other aliens were just mooching off their idea.

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There was subtle but visible evidence that a Goldblum creator of the monument, a creature just like the Ian before me, had been there. There was a reason that he’d chosen “Christian” as a “pseudonyn” (Goldblums abide by different spelling rules):

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It was all clear to Rexy and me now. The Guidestones weren’t left by any evil group or new world order– they were hints from a civilization far past ours, which just wanted to make things easier for us. We said goodbye to the Goldblums and, taking one last look at their handiwork, they grabbed each other and flew back into the sky to their home planet. Rexy and I watched them go, knowing that whether anyone would ever believe us about their existence, we would always have tall, stuttering men looking out for us.

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Not a bad way to spend the planet’s last normal day, huh?

Fanfic: The Care and Keeping of Stegoceratops

It’s been forever since I’ve written any fanfics, but here’s my latest offering! This was written as part of the Jeff July event on social media– a month-long celebration of Jeff Goldblum and all his characters. The character of Alice is Fourth Mrs. Malcolm‘s OC; I don’t own any of the other characters. Enjoy!

“Dr. Malcolm?” Bang bang bang. “Hey, I have a package here for Dr. Ian Malcolm, is he home?”

Sighing and leaning on his cane, Ian extricated himself from his armchair, walked through his apartment kitchenette, unlatched the door, and stepped out to see what the postman wanted. Looking at the ground, he raised his eyebrows in surprise; he’d expected the UPS guy to be there, but not the enormous crate on the ground next to him. “Just sign for it here and here, sir,” the postman said, handing him a clipboard with a few complex-looking forms attached to it. Ian looked through the papers– one of them said at the top, very prominently, BIOHAZARD INSPECTION– then at the shaking crate, then back at his guest.

“I’m not signing for this,” he said. “It’s– it’s not my order.”

“Forms say it is,” the guy said, taking the clipboard from Ian and consulting it. “Yep, Dr. Ian Malcolm, apartment 308. If you’ll just sign–”

Ian was more interested in the package, which was bumping from size to side and emitting some kind of muffled– was that a mooing noise? “I never ordered any animals. I’m sorry, but you, uh, have the wrong person. You’re gonna have to take this back.”

“We can’t take it back, Dr. Malcolm,” said the guy in the brown suit. He glanced at the crate and then at Ian, and made an amused snorting sound. “Trust me, I’m sure you’ll appreciate it.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

The guy was already backing up, heading to the elevator. “Look, I have another urgent delivery in the truck. You can call if you have any concerns, our number’s on, uh– on the UPS website. Don’t hesitate to let us know.”

“You can’t just drop this off and hold me responsible for–” The guy had already disappeared into the elevator, and by the time Ian started after him, the button had already dinged and the doors were already shutting. Ian sighed, ran his hand over his face, and then turned his attention to the crate that was now apparently under his care. He put his hands on either side of the bottom and strained to lift it, which greatly distressed whatever was inside; he immediately heard a loud and high-pitched yelping noise come from within. “All right, all right.” Instead of trying to lift the thing again, he settled for kneeling down and shoving the wooden box through his open door. The crate against the cement floor made an even less pleasant sound than the animal’s screech, but it only took three good shoves before his package was inside and he could finally shut the door.

Loudly exhaling, Ian got on his knees again and peered into the crate from one of the slits on the top. He didn’t see very much, but what he got a glimpse of was enough to make him lean back, massage his eyes with two fingers, and exhaustedly groan. He debated whether he should even bother opening it, but leaving the obviously easily distressed animal in its cage all night might have been noisier than it was worth. He found the three latches on the side of the crate’s door, undid them one by one, and then quickly moved back and out of the way. If this was what he thought it was, he didn’t want very much to do with it at all.

The crate door creaked open, and with another of those odd snuffling sounds, its inhabitant slowly emerged. First came its two forward-facing, prong-like horns, and then its oblong, beaked little face. Ian’s first thought was what did Levine call these bull-horned things? Nasutoceratops, and then I hate that I know that. And then: Wait, I thought it was a stegosaur? There were plates, I know there were plates.

After the little dinosaur, whatever it was, had poked its head out of its crate for long enough to glance around and determine whether Ian’s apartment was suitable, it took a few timid steps onto the carpet. Ian stared, too confused to even be angry. Why was this thing a combination of two different herbivores? This couldn’t have been a recently-discovered species, could it? Maybe he could call Richard Levine; if anyone had kept up with new dinosaur discoveries, it was him. But why was he concerned with identifying its species when the real concern was that there was a greyhound-sized dinosaur stomping around in his living room?

The answer, he suddenly realized, was the same one that usually came with all of his problems: InGen. He leaned into the crate– the animal, more confused than anything, paid him no mind– and rummaged around, trying to ignore the implications of digging around in the hay that lined the bottom of the box. Finally, attached to the back, his hand found a paper booklet stapled to the wood. He tore it free, sat outside the somewhat foul-smelling crate, and read the cover: Care and Keeping of Your Pygmy Stegoceratops. It showed a photo of a little girl, smiling and hugging a dinosaur that looked just like the tiny one that was currently poking at his coffee table with its steer horns.

Ian stood up and aggravatedly grumbled under his breath. For years he’d put all that effort into keeping InGen out of his life as much as possible, and now he apparently owned one of their little designer pets. Of course he knew about the enormous corporate empire that InGen had built with their blood money– how could he not, everyone did, they aired their cheery commercials for genetic abominations during every TV show imaginable. Despite InGen being incredibly prominent in the world and somehow still growing even more popular, Ian had managed to ward off its presence as much as he could. Apparently, though, he hadn’t earned complete peace from them quite yet.

He opened the first page of the booklet, and nestled between the headings “Congratulations on your ownership of a licensed InGen pygmy dinosaur pal!” and “How to get started” was a tiny envelope. An idea, and then a bolt of rage, struck Ian– were those InGen bastards bribing him? Had they sent him this– this monster for free and expected something out of it, like a free advertisement, or paparazzi photos of him walking the thing like a puppy? He tossed the booklet onto the coffee table and tore open the envelope. There was a brief, hand-written note inside, and to his slight relief, it didn’t have any genetic company logos stamped on it. It read:

Ian,

Thought you’d enjoy this. She’s just the right size for your place, right? Have fun with her, and don’t worry about buying any special food– she’ll eat just about any vegetable you feed her. I’ll drop by in a few days to see how you two are doing.

That was it– no signature, nothing. He threw it down on the table and was about to start reading the pamphlet when something bumped up against his bad leg. He started, and then looked down to see his little guest staring up at him with pleading, almost pitiful amber-colored eyes. He got back down onto his knees, wincing a little in pain, and took a closer look. It was definitely one of the genetically-engineered, smaller-than-life dinosaurs that were just one of the products of InGen’s new hybrid-based business model. He’d seen these pygmies before, mostly at pet stores and being walked around Austin by kids and families, but the others that he’s come across had all looked like miniaturized versions of existing dinosaurs. This one was a new species entirely– a Stegoceratops, the booklet had called it.

It looked almost like something a kid would design. Its body was forest green, and all the parts of its face had sandy-brown accents, as did the plates along its back. It definitely had the various horns that a Nasutoceratops would have, except when Ian ran his palm over their tips, none of them pricked him at all. Well, at least they’d safety-engineered it for kids, he could at least give InGen that. When the Stegoceratops creature felt his touch, it slowly blinked and then closed its eyes and held still, almost like a dog being petted. He made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat; he didn’t want the stumpy little thing to attack him, of course, but the way it acted so much like an attention-starved puppy just felt wrong.

He removed his hand and reached for the book again– it sure would be a blast to read the justification that had made Wu and his buddies come up with and mass-produce these things– when the dinosaur did something even more surprising: it reached out with its flat foot and batted lightly at his knee. He turned to see that it was staring expectantly at him with its large, cow-like eyes. He furrowed his brow and stroked the pebbled skin of its frill, and sure enough, the animal contentedly closed its eyes again. Huh. At least it was affectionate– that was better treatment than he’d come to expect from animals of its kind.

Absentmindedly petting the thing, he turned his attention to its care booklet and skimmed through the entire thing over the course of ten minutes. From what he could gather, it didn’t require much more special care than the average Pomeranian. All it needed was fresh vegetables to eat, a safe area to stay in, occasional walks, and “a great owner like you!” Well, there weren’t any plant products in the apartment that could be classified as anywhere near fresh, but he could handle the rest for a couple of days. “Don’t get used to the place,” he said sternly to the little Stegoceratops; it only stared back at him, looking more puppy-like by the minute. “You’re not staying here, you hear me?” With great effort, he got back onto his feet again and headed for his kitchenette. If someone thought this was a funny prank to pull on him, they could have their laughs– and their genetic mistake of a pet dinosaur– when they came to see him in a few days.

He opened the narrow refrigerator, leaned down and rummaged through one of the clear plastic drawers. His hand closed around a small apple; he pulled it out and poked it, finding that it was at least somewhat fresh. Closing the fridge door, he tossed it onto the ground, to the Stegoceratops that was standing and watching his every move. “Here, this is all I’ve got. I’ll see if I can stop by the grocery store later, but, uh, this is dinner for now, kiddo.” The weird little dinosaur-thing stared at the offering for a second, stuck its thick little tongue out to take a lick, and then pulled the entire fruit into its mouth and slowly chewed it up whole, little apple shavings falling to the floor from the sides of its beak. Ian shook his head and then made his way to his study. He had three dissertations to read through and no time to watch this weird animal that had finished its snack and was now ambling around his apartment, occasionally whacking the legs of furniture with the tiny thagomizer on the end of its tail. At least, he figured, if it was enough of a hassle to keep around, he had friends in the zoology department who’d be more than happy to take it off his hands.

***

When he’d finished reading through the first dissertation– Complexity Theory and the Behavior of Gallimimus in Captivity, no doubt some grad student’s excuse to go on multiple vacations to Jurassic World before the incident– Ian pulled his cell phone off the desk and dialed Kelly’s number. As always, it rang exactly twice, and then he heard the click and her voice: “Hey, Dad, what’s up?”

“Hi, honey, nothing much. Uh, hey, did you send me a dinosaur? ‘Cause it was nice of you, but–”

“Hold on, what?” The phone crackled as she adjusted it, and he heard her yell into the distance, “Hang on, I’ll be right back!” before turning her attention back to him. “Dad, what’s the matter? Is this a joke?”

“No, I’m serious. Did you send me one of those little—uh—InGen pygmies in the mail? The little pets?”

She paused. “Oh, that kind of dinosaur. Nah, I didn’t. Why, did you get one?”

“Somebody stuck me with one, and I’m—I’m glad to hear it wasn’t you, ‘cause I have a few serious words for whoever it was. Anyway… how’s it going? Doing well in training?”

She exhaled heavily. “You know, it’s going how it’s going. Trials are coming up, so I’m working like a dog.”

“I thought the trials weren’t for a few months?”

“How long have I been training? Two years? A few months is nothing.” She stopped, and he heard muffled shouting. “Gotta go, Dad, break’s over. Careful with the dinosaur, okay? I love you.”

“Love you too, honey,” and he hung up. He called his other two kids after that and received similar answers. Elizabeth was off in Orlando interviewing for a job at some zoo, and she let him know that she wanted absolutely nothing to do with dinosaurs– he couldn’t say he blamed her. Anna, who was in the middle of her first semester away at college, stressed that she couldn’t afford a pet for herself, let alone anything extravagant for her or anyone else. She knew just as well as he did that he was the reason she had no significant financial worries– a large portion of the money made from his book sales and many television interviews had gone towards paying her and Kelly’s tuition– but he still shook his head and wrote her a check for two hundred dollars.

With his three daughters ruled out, who else could the mystery dinosaur donor be? His colleagues at UT knew better than to play dinosaur-related pranks on him, or at least he sincerely hoped he did. His assistant Mike, though he joked around a lot with Ian and never seemed to want for money, probably did too. He only kept up occasional correspondence with Sarah, and this wasn’t the kind of thing Ellie would do. So that ruled out the most likely people to have done this; that meant it must have been one of his friends, someone he’d never suspected.

He’d have to make a few phone calls. First, however, he had to attend to a certain stegoceratops in the next room, which had its horns thoroughly embedded in the side of his couch.

***

The next day, sitting comfortably in a chair in a small office downtown, he asked his therapist, “You wouldn’t happen to have sent me any dinosaurs lately, would you?”

Alice gave him an amused look over her glasses. “What, a toy dinosaur, or a stuffed animal? Why on earth would I do that?”

Of the many counselors that Ian had met with over the years, Alice Sigrund was his particular favorite. A short brunette woman of thirty, she was one of the growing number of “paleo-social workers” who dealt with not only people, but dinosaurs and the connection between the two– a necessity in a world where an increasing number of people shared their jobs with hybrid dinosaurs. Because of her work with predatory dinosaurs like tyrannosaurs, and her knowledge of how time with– and attacks from– them could affect people, she’d been able to understand Ian’s trauma better than many other counselors, and could much better help him work through his many issues regarding them. She’d greatly helped him overcome most of his dinosaur-related fears, and she knew him just as well as any close friend in his life. He found himself looking forward to weekly sessions with her, even just for the chance to chat.

It didn’t hurt, too, that she was very pretty.

“No, like one of those bio-pet things.” He held out his hands to indicate its size. “Real ugly little thing. It’s like, ah, a hybrid– you know, one of those things for kids. Not too cuddly, you’d think they’d go for more of a teddy bear thing.”

“No, Ian, I can honestly say I didn’t buy you a dinosaur.”

“Are you sure? You can tell me. It–it could be like an exposure therapy thing. Letting it hang out with me for a while, letting me get attached to it. Perfect, uh, therapeutic crime.”

She shook her head and scribbled something onto the notepad in her hand. “Nice detective work, but no.”

“You’re writing “paranoid” on that paper there, aren’t you?” He leaned forward, smiling. “C’mon, let’s have a look. I know you’re getting to the dark recesses of my mind here.”

“Nope. Classified information. I have to know you better than you know yourself.” He playfully grabbed out for the little notebook, and she giggled and held it above her head, he sat back and grinned. “Nah, it’s not psychoanalyzing. You can read it if you want.”

“Nah, I’m good. Anyway… yeah, that’s about the extent of my problems this week. No nightmares or anything. Al-although I’m sure having one of the little buggers running around won’t help me keep that streak for long. I’m gonna sell the damn thing as soon as I can.”

Jotting more notes, Alice nodded. “Good. That’s excellent. You’re having a lot fewer nightmares lately.”

“I’ve had a lot fewer people in my face lately. I can’t believe it took ‘em three separate incidents to learn that I’m not interested in being a dinosaur disaster expert, but I’ve only gotten, um, a couple interview offers and everybody else knows better than to ask me about this whole hybrid trend. Maybe I’ll talk to some news networks when a corporate dinosaur finally mauls someone—maybe a book, make a million or so more, uh, pay for Anna’s grad degree.”

“Are you sure it’d be worth it? You’d draw a lot more attention.”

“Yeah, but I’d live. I’m old news. I’ll crank out a few sound bites, people will ask each other why no one listened to me all along, and I’ll laugh my way to the bank.”

She smiled and shook her head. “You’ve got it made, haven’t you?”

“Yeah, well. It’s too predictable, but it’s a living.”

Alice flipped her notebook shut and put it on the floor beside her, and then leaned forward, resting her head in her palms, looking thoughtfully into his eyes. “Well, Ian, I have to say you’ve made a lot of progress.”

He licked his lips. “Why, thank you.”

“You’ve got a great handle on your problems, you’re not worried about the future or your mental health anymore. You’re nowhere as scared as you used to be. You’ve learned a lot about coping in the past few years. I mean, I’m not suggesting anything, but—it’s almost like you don’t need me anymore.”

“Wasn’t that the goal to begin with?”

She raised her eyebrows and said in a low, thoughtful voice, “Yeah, that was the goal, all right.” She exhaled loudly and stood up. “Well, hate to be a clock-watcher, but it looks like our time’s up.”

“If that clock on your wall isn’t lyin’ to me, our time was up fifteen minutes ago. Do your job right, Sigrund.”

She cracked a grin, mirroring his. “Don’t criticize my methods. See you next week?”

“See you next week,” he smiled, and as he opened her office door to leave, she reached out her arm to stop him, catching him before he walked out.

“Call me if anything goes wrong, okay, Ian?” He looked back; her expression was genuine. “If something happens with the dinosaur, if you can’t handle having it around, just call me. I’d be happy to take it off your hands. Or even if you just wanna talk about it—call. Anytime.”

“Absolutely,” he said softly, and noticed when he looked down that Alice had grabbed his hand when she stopped him, and she hadn’t let go. She followed his gaze and immediately pulled her hand back to her chest, looking more than a little embarrassed.

“Uh… see you.” She salvaged another grin, which Ian returned. He took one more good, long look at her before swinging the door open, waving goodbye and disappearing.
***

A flash of lightning outside the window lit up Ian’s apartment for an instant, and then a distant crash of thunder added to the already-unnerving sound of the downpour outside. Ian was never completely comfortable when it was raining outside, especially this hard, but it wasn’t as bad this time—no flashbacks, no need to blast the television so he could put himself anywhere besides that Explorer in front of that paddock. Branches of pain still shot through his leg, though; he had it propped up on the coffee table while he lounged on the couch, making phone calls.

Both of his paleontologist friends denied having sent him the stegoceratops. Richard Levine had scoffed at the idea; Ian should’ve known that he’d never have spent that much money on anyone other than himself anyway. Diego Rodriguez, a paleopathologist who was on a dig in Patagonia at the moment, angrily wondered out loud why the pygmies were created in the first place and advised Ian to get rid of his as soon as possible. Even his archaeologist friend Matt thought that keeping it would be a terrible idea. Ian was dialing Jodran the paleoartist when his phone rang and Alice’s speed dial number popped up on the screen. She almost never called him at home except when there was an emergency—was she okay? He answered immediately. “Hello?”

“Hi, Ian!” He was relieved to hear that she sounded cheerful. “Just wanted to check in and see how everything was going.”

“Uh—everything’s fine. Why do you ask, ‘cause of the storm?”

“No, no, because of the dinosaur. Is everything okay with it? Do you want me to drop by and take it?”

He exhaled heavily. “Believe me, I wouldn’t wish this thing on you. All—all it does is follow me around all day and eat more lettuce than a herd of rabbits. I wish whoever gave it to me would take it back to that godforsaken island already.”

She made a sympathetic sound. “I can take it to a shelter or something.”

“Nah, I’ll deal with it. Should just be for a few days. I wanted to start buying more vegetables anyway.”

“Well, that’s good to hear.” He heard her pause and move around a little, and he could clearly picture how she must have looked, at home in her pajamas with her hair down and around her shoulders instead of in its usual ponytail, sprawled across the loveseat in her apartment. He’d never been to where she lived, but he could imagine it well enough— a place as clean-cut and organized as she was, the furniture in dark colors just like the clothes she always wore to their sessions. Thinking about being there with Alice and chatting or just enjoying each other’s company, instead of being stuck in this place with an irritating leg and an even more irritating animal, helped him relax in spite of the rain sounds outside. “How long do you think you’ll have to keep it?”

“If it’s here more than a week, it’ll be the very first member of Austin’s feral dinosaur population.”

She giggled, and he broke into a grin despite himself. “So have you named it?”

“Yes, I have. It’s called Pest.”

“Oh, come on, give it a real name! You can’t just stand there all week like, “here, dinosaur, dinosaur!””

“All right, if you insist.” He leaned back, head resting on the back of the couch, and caught sight of the white flowers on his neighbor’s terrace through the corner of his eye. “It’s, uh—Lily.”

“Oh, how cute! That’s adorable, Ian, is it really a girl?”

“Probably. Maybe tomorrow I’ll make it a little bow for its horns.”

“That is so adorable.” She paused again. “Well… I should let you go. I was just thinking about you, wanted to make sure everything is okay. Are you sure I can’t help? I could stop by your place if you need someone to play with it for a little bit.”

He would’ve liked nothing more than to invite her over, but stopped himself; that wouldn’t have been professional. “Sweet of you, but no, thanks.”

“All right, I’ll see you on Monday, then.” He said goodbye, and when she hung up, he dialed Jodran and got only a recorded message. He reached for one of the books under his coffee table, mentally replaying Alice’s laugh and the excited tone in her voice, when an enormous crack of thunder came from outside and a panicked moooo came from the kitchen. The little stegoceratops, which had previously been in the kitchen taking a nap next to its food bowl, came running into the living room on its stubby little legs. It came galloping over to the couch and attempted to jump up next to Ian; when it failed, it stood in front of him, looking up at him imploringly and whacking its tail against the carpet.

“Nope,” he told Lily firmly. “You’re not ruining any more of my furniture.” It didn’t get the message. As if to demonstrate its urgency, it ran out into the open area of the living room, butted at the front door with its frill, and then came back to the couch to wordlessly plead him again. He opened his book and tried his best to ignore the big cow eyes staring at him and the somewhat high-pitched lowing sounds. He was almost sure that the annoying thing would leave him alone when he heard another thunderbolt, this one alarmingly close to the building. Lily reacted to it just like it had to the last one, mooing loudly in terror and thumping against the ground with its heavy, spiked tail.

When he looked away from his book and saw the animal on the ground, butting at the couch and shaking with fear, he sighed and picked it up by the stomach. He placed it on the couch next to him and expected that to be the end of the matter— he had no intention of getting cuddly with the thing, but this was better than it freaking out all night—but Lily grunted and clambered across his legs, plopping itself down onto his lap. It seemed content despite his lack of attention, propping its beak up on the armrest and closing its eyes. Ian sat and just stared for a minute or two. There was a smaller thunderbolt from further away, and Lily shivered, her tail thumping in agitation, but settled down quickly enough.

He grudgingly began to run his hand along its side, petting around its plates and making it yawn contentedly. “Yeah, I don’t like storms, either.”

***

Matheus, one of the grad students he’d personally chosen to advise during the year, had obviously given everything he had to impress Ian. Most of the kids in his graduating group had barely even begun their master’s theses yet, but Matheus’ was half-done and incredibly well-researched, with three full pages of diagrams and a bibliography almost as long as the paper itself. He had nothing to worry about, yet he fidgeted in his chair as Ian skimmed over the papers in his hand, looking like he thought the frame-covered walls of Ian’s office were about to close in on him.

“I gotta say,” Ian said as he closed the little packet of papers and slid it across his desk, “this is excellent. I’m—I’m really impressed.”

The thin, dark-haired, much younger man in front of him kept his hands in his lap and his legs close together, as if he was trying to compress himself and vanish, but perked up. “Seriously?”

“Seriously. You’ve got some really great work done so far. Where, uh, are you gonna do your independent research?

“Neurology department at St. David’s. Working closely with the MRI machines.” His thesis paper would be about variations in brain waves after trauma; Ian couldn’t help much with the neurological component, but considering that the topic was being researched and analyzed through the lens of chaos theory, his advising would be quite useful.

“Good, good. Have you, uh, set up appointments with anyone there? Made sure they’ll let you do your thing?”

“Absolutely. Made the calls as soon as I decided on my topic. I’m going in on the twentieth.”

Ian licked his lips and moved his swivel chair closer to the edge of his desk. “Well, keep doin’ what you’re doin’. I’m proud of you, I—I knew you wouldn’t disappoint.”

Matheus still had that deer-in-the-headlights look in his eyes, but he beamed. “Thanks, Dr. Malcolm! Oh God, you don’t know how worried I was.”

“Y’know, I think I got a clue. Don’t worry so much, Matheus, you’re gonna do great. Hell, maybe you’ll have my job someday.”

“Maybe,” he said, sounding not at all convinced, and then, “What’s in your lap?”

“In my lap? Oh, yeah.” He glanced down at Lily, who was curled up into a little ball of dinosaur and contentedly napping on his lap. “Surprised you didn’t notice earlier. C’mon, Lily, time to meet someone.” He rolled his chair out from behind his desk and gently shook the little animal awake; she raised her head, blinked at him with her cow eyes, and swung out her tail. “Go ahead and pet her, she’s never met a stranger.”

Lily’s eyes drifted closed as Matheus rubbed three fingers along her back. “Wow, I’m surprised you got one of these. I thought you hated them.”

“You have no idea how many times I’ve heard that today,” Ian sighed.

The other man went immediately back into high alert. “Oh, I’m sorry!”

“No, no, don’t worry. It’s—it’s a valid question. I didn’t buy her, someone else got her for me. Wouldn’t have been you, would it?”

“Nah, not me.” Lily lay her head back down on Ian’s knee, making that deep, happy sound that seemed to serve the same purpose as a cat’s purr. “I’m surprised they let you take it to the office.”

“Well, she’s not disturbing anybody, and she gets separation anxiety way too easily. I’d rather have her sit with me than tear up my furniture and get me noise complaints with her mooing.”

“I kinda want one for myself, honestly. Even just for the fun of it. Everyone wants their own pet T. rex, right?”

Instead of what had actually sprung to mind, Ian said simply, “I bet you do.”

Matheus smiled, withdrew his hand and stood up. “Well, thanks for meeting with me, Dr. Malcolm. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem at all. You—you want this paper back or can I keep it?”

“You can keep it.”

“Thanks again. I’ll call you to set up another meeting next month.” The young man flashed him a much easier smile.

“All right, take care,” Ian called as Matheus disappeared out the door. He sighed and asked the snoozing dinosaur sitting on him, “I think that went well, how about you?” She snuffled in her sleep, and he rolled his way back behind his desk, pulling his cell phone out from his pocket. The disturbance awoke Lily again, and when she mooed in annoyance, Ian calmed her with a few scratches behind her frill while he tapped Alice’s contact number. The phone rang once, and when he heard the secretary’s greeting, he said, “Can you put me through to Alice, please?”

He heard the tinny ring again, and then Alice’s voice. “Alice Sigrund, may I ask who’s calling?”

Ian leaned back in his chair and exhaled hard, as if that would expel all the jitters from deep in his chest. “Yeah, hi, it’s Ian.”

He could almost hear her jumping to sit up straight. “Oh, Ian, hi! How’s everything going? Is there a problem with Lily?”

“Nope, no problem. She’s here with me, she’s doing fine.”

“Oh, good, that’s great.”

The phone crackled during the long few seconds of silence that followed. Ian cleared his throat. “I, uh, have a request.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“I’d like to withdraw myself as a client, if you don’t mind.”

Another few seconds of heavy quiet. “I… Ian, what? I don’t understand, why so sudden? Is it something I—”

“No, no problem, none at all. The, uh, opposite, actually. Remember what you said a few days ago? About not needing your services, making progress?”

“Yes, but—”

“You were totally right. I completely appreciate what you’ve done for me, Alice. It’s been amazing working with you, but—but you were right. I’ve made enormous progress thanks to you, and counseling just isn’t something that’s essential anymore.”

She paused. “Well—if that’s how you feel. I can’t say I disagree. It’s just, I, um…” He heard her exhale heavily. “All right. I’ll let the office know.”

“Great. Now that that’s settled, and we’re not compelled to be, er, professional anymore. I was wondering—are you available this Saturday?”

Another pause. “Yes, why?”

He tried to keep his voice casual as he asked, “How does dinner at Truluck’s sound? My treat. You can keep psychoanalyzing me, just over salmon this time.”

“Okay!” she answered immediately, her voice noticeably higher. “I mean, yeah, absolutely. Just call me. Call me whenever.” He could clearly picture her, bolting to sit up straight, eyes wide and face flushing like she always got when she was excited, and he smiled.

“All right, it’s a date, then.”

“It’s a date,” she parroted, the disbelief and joy still apparent in her voice. “Talk to you later, I guess.”

“I’ll call you,” he promised, and hung up. “How about that. It actually worked out,” he said to Lily, who had woken up and was nudging at his stomach with her horns. “Ow, ow, c’mon,” he said, petting her right side to placate her. “You better not bug Alice for attention like that. You’re gonna be seeing her a lot, so you better be nice.” She leaned back against his touch, closing her eyes contentedly and making that happy little half-moo, and nudged her spiky little frill against his stomach again. “Spoiled,” he chided, giving her the scratches behind her frill that she was demanding. But he couldn’t force himself to be genuinely annoyed. All afternoon as he worked, he gave in to the little dinosaur’s demands, because all he could think about when he petted Lily now was how happy Alice would be to get to play with her if she came back to his apartment after their date.

***

Alan Grant’s GPS took him on a wild goose chase all around Austin before he finally found Ian’s apartment complex. He’d visited once or twice before, but that was several years ago, and he only had a faint recollection of what the place looked like and how to get around it. He asked the lady at the front desk what Ian’s number was, took the elevator to the third floor, and scanned the rows of identical doors until he found number 322. He rang the doorbell once, twice, three times, and waited patiently before trying the door handle. He knew Ian was there; even after several years, he still remembered the distinctive red convertible that the chaotician was so proud of and that had been out in the parking lot when Alan arrived.

Surprisingly, the door was left unlocked, and he rang the doorbell two more times before slowly and carefully twisting the handle. “Ian?” he called, peeking into the apartment. Memories of his last visit returned to him as he looked around; the place was just as minimalistically elegant and book-stuffed as always. “Ian? Are you home?” He cracked the door just a bit further. When he turned his head all the way to the right and caught sight of the couch, he grinned from ear to ear and quietly shut the door. He’d come back in a little while—he didn’t want to wake Ian up by breaking into his home.

But clearly the man was enjoying Alan’s gift. He was lying across the sofa, his head leaned back in slumber, and curled up on his lap was the little hybrid dinosaur that Alan had sent him. He would drop in later—for now, it was best to just let Ian spend time with Alan’s first surprise, which he quite obviously loved.

JP Topps Comic #1

I know I planned on doing a Fanfics You Should Be Reading for my next post, but this week I got a gift in the mail from my friend Fourth Mrs. Malcolm, and I thought it was too amazing not to share. If you’ve never read the first comic series, you’re in for a treat. But before I get to it, I have two announcements to make.

First, I wish I could report that FX is making a Jurassic World TV show, but unfortunately I can’t. As Sickle_Claw on JPL quickly debunked, FX bought the movie’s TV rights, but that was only in order to broadcast the movie, not to expand it into a whole TV show. Sorry.

Second, our own DinoReviews101 and Lord Kristine have started a new JP/JW podcast! Their first JW celebrity interview podcast has just come out, and it features an insightful interview with Stan Winston’s son, Matt Winston. Give it a watch, and keep on the lookout for other familiar faces in the future.

All right, now let’s take a look at the awesome first issue of the Jurassic Park Topps comic line! Before I get into the actual comic, allow me to show you the three trading cards that came in the packet with it. The first two are pretty amusing; one has the Big One making a “say whaaaaat?” face, and the other is the cover of the famous “terrifying faces”issue of the comic.

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But my absolute favorite is the third one, which came with an illustration of brachiosaurs and which features either the angriest or the most stoned sauropod I’ve ever seen in my life. It reminds me of the time a drunk girl from Hoboken got in my face and asked “Whaddya want? Whaddya want?” with the voice of a drunken zombie, or of this.

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Moving on– let’s get to the real attraction.

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Hi there, nightmare fuel.

Just like the original movie, it opens with the raptor-loading scene, goes on to the amber mines and continues on to the dig site, etc. However, one pretty crucial and weird thing was changed about the scene in the very beginning. Namely, Muldoon is replaced with Ian Malcolm, or at least his twin or doppelganger.

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What the heck could that mean? Aside from the possibility that the artist was just really lazy and/or didn’t want to give Muldoon the creepy-face treatment (more on that in a minute), there’s one of two things that Malcolm isn’t telling us in this universe. Either he has a long-lost twin or clone (and what a lucky universe that would be) who’s gone to the dark side, or he has a night job that he’s more than a little ashamed of. Honestly though, I can’t say I blame the guy. He’s a college professor, he probably needs this second job just to buy ramen and roach traps.

I also found it funny how the raptor attack began:

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*Translation– “So am I ripping a ****er apart now, or was this vacation just a waste of time?”

The amber mine scene isn’t really worth mentioning, except for the fact that it introduces us to this artist’s preference for drawing really, really creepy faces. That cover with all the grotesque gargoyles that we previously knew as the JP cast? That wasn’t a one-time occurrence. This guy has some sort of personal grudge against the human form, and it can be seen as either hilarious or horrifying. I personally go for the former. In other words, artistic liberties were taken.

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With Gennaro, though, maybe not many liberties.

We then move on to the dig site scene, which begins by showing off what’s obviously this artist’s strong suit: beautiful landscapes. Just look at what he does with the Badlands:

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I don’t really have any jokes about the next part, which is a conversation between Alan and Ellie that was either cut from the movie or added in. I just wanted to show it to you because it resolves a commonly-asked question: how did Grant know so much about raptor pack behavior if he’d never seen any raptors in action before he went to the Park? This comic shows that he got the information by deducing it from a fossilized raptor pack. (You probably knew that already– it’s not a question commonly asked by enormous JP fans.)

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Speaking of Grant and Ellie, remember all the adorable exchanges they had in the junior novel that were cut from the final film? It turns out there were even more that we didn’t get to see. They just get more and more adorable with every appearance, and the beginning of JP3 gets more and more tragic.

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Well, Alan and Ellie are cute. Ellie is spared the scary-face treatment, but by himself, Alan looks like– well, this:

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His description of the raptor attack in particular is illustrated in a level of detail that I would describe as entirely too loving.

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It’s not just the raptors you should be running from, kid. Hey, is that Lex’s face?

Also, I realize that I’ve made a career out of calling Ian an absolute dork, but in this version of the movie, Alan absolutely takes that cake. Look what his reason is for not wanting children. Look at it:

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I dunno, Alan, have you ever actually met a 3-year-old with a dinosaur interest?

Then we go through the motions of the trailer scene, which includes a glimpse at Alan and Ellie’s work space (it looks like they finally got rid of those “Aliens Stole My Face!” newspaper clippings and replaced them with actual equipment. Good for them):

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As well as a close-up of Hammond’s “scheming face” that I wouldn’t have minded if I’d died without seeing:

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It’s not just the way he’s drawn, but also in the way he’s written– Hammond seems a lot less like a hapless, friendly grandfather in this and a lot more like the version of himself from the original novels. He has a lot more biting things to say (particularly toward Malcolm) and far less wonder-filled promises about making dreams come true. It takes away from the whole “awe and wonder” tone of the original movie a bit, but I actually don’t mind. Book Hammond was an interesting character and a believable villain, and I commend the author for bringing him into more than one canon. If I ever get my hands on the rest of the comics in this series, I’d be very interested to see what else the comic line does with this version of the character.

Next we get a brief glimpse at the Nedry scene. The cafe that they’re in was supposed to be located in is in a part of Costa Rica that’s landlocked in real life; it was portrayed as being next to the ocean in the movie, but here it’s shown in a more realistic way. But background accuracy isn’t what the viewer’s eye is drawn to here. We’re more distracted by what I presume to be the last faces that quite a few people saw before they died.

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Dahmer! We’ve got Dahmer here!

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And then we transition to the helicopter scene, where the artist pulls off a feat that I had previously thought to be impossible– for one brief frame, he manages to make ’90s Jeff Goldblum look unattractive.

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But that’s quickly forgotten as we get a front-row seat to his and Hammond’s bickering. Well, more specifically, Hammond’s bickering and Malcolm’s face of absolutely no regrets whatsoever.

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Then we get a few deleted Ian lines, which is kind of a small thing in the big picture but is like a little ray of sunlight in my day:

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Topps interrupts this program to offer me the opportunity to enter a drawing and win a special “Amberchrome” edition of this comic book. If only, 1993. If only.

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Then we get another beautiful landscape as the helicopter flies over the island…

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…which is immediately interrupted by Hammond telling Ian to put his pessimism back in his pants.

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If you ask me, that doesn’t really fit in with the kind of thing that movie Hammond would have said, but I think it should have been kept in the movie regardless, because come on, it’s hilarious. There are actually a bunch of Hammond lines in here that shouldn’t have been axed. They actually fit in with his movie character, too.

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And then there are a few that were best left within these pages.

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Wh-why do you want to watch them?

But then we get to the best part of the whole comic– the scenery shots of the park’s entrance. Enclosed with jungle plants instead of out in the open like they are in the movie, the gates look much more mysterious and it looks far more like our heroes really are entering a magical nature preserve from the past.

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And then the famous brachiosaur scene is upon us. It’s presented a lot more like it was in the novel than as it was in the movie, but it doesn’t take away any of the wonder and joy– it just portrays those feelings with different visuals. I seem to remember this being in the novel too:

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Self-guided tours! Unsuspecting tourists driving cars all by themselves through valleys of dinosaurs! NOTHING could go wrong!

The brachiosaur scene in particular is drawn in a way that could have gone directly to the screen and looked just as good as the movie version did; its tease-and-reveal is fantastic. I took pictures of the entire scene because it’s just that great.

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Oh hello there, Alan. You look… different.

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Compared to “It’s a dinosaur!”, Comic Alan is a bit more eloquent.

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Don’t mind me, there’s just *sniff* something in my eye.

And that brings us to the end of Part One. Aside from the world of tie-dye dinosaurs, there’s a little section about how the movie was adapted from Crichton’s novel to the movie we all love.

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I mostly mention it because it includes my very favorite picture of Steven Spielberg.

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And aside from a couple of advertisements for Terminator and Spider-Man comics, that’s all, folks. If I were reviewing this as a collectible item, I’d definitely recommend owning it if you don’t already; at most it’s a lovely keepsake of one of the best parts of the first movie, and at least you’ll be able to own a photo of a pissed brachiosaur, possibly to keep in your wallet. And as an art piece, it’s just as wonderful. The scenery and dinosaur art in particular are great, and the comic as a whole conveys the spirit of JP in a way that I love.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to check in my closet and under my bed for Comic Hammond.

An Interview With Fourth Mrs. Malcolm

Welcome back to my series of interviews with Jurassic Park fanfiction authors! Today I got the pleasure of speaking with Fourth Mrs. Malcolm, writer, blogger and aficionado of the JP character– well, you can guess. She’s the author of a lovely series on Archive of our Own, and by far the most prolific and dedicated Ian Malcolm blogger I’ve ever seen.

Hello, Fourth Mrs. Malcolm. It’s great to be speaking with you. I’m a big fan of your work!

Thank you, RD, for the opportunity to visit your blog and chat about writing JP fanfiction. I love following you, and I absolutely adored the pictures from the birthday party you threw for your tiny Ians!

As evidenced by your name, social media presence and fanfiction work, you’re obviously Ian Malcolm’s biggest fan! What about Ian inspires you to write about him?


Well, I’ll get the obvious out of the way first: I have a huge crush on him 🙂  Aside from that, I have always been a fan of any science fiction that involves biology. For example, I love author Robin Cook (“Coma”, “Outbreak”). While medical thrillers are my first love, Crichton’s techno thrillers including “Disclosure”, “Airframe” and of course, “Jurassic Park” captivate me. It’s the combination of science and ethics. Ian stands out as the “voice of ethical reason” in both Jurassic Park the book and film.

 

Where do you get the inspiration for your work? 


My first story was inspired by another fanfiction that was posted on Archive of our Own. It was so well-written that it stayed with me for days after I read it, and eventually my thoughts began to turn into ideas for another story. This became the first of the “Alice” stories. (That story was “Chaos” by thedevilchicken on AO3).

For tumblr, I generally take screencaps of unique/interesting/cute pictures of Ian or that are JP-related from eBay or elsewhere online and repost them. I also like to reblog others’ posts and add comments.


What’s your opinion on the changes in Malcolm’s character between his two movies?


It’s understandable given what happened at Isla Nublar and how he was treated by InGen after speaking out about the incident. Ian’s character development is deeper than typically happens in techno thriller series (for example, the Laurie/Jack Stapleton arc developed by Robin Cook in his novels from the early 2000s to now). While part of me is sad to “lose” the Ian we met on Nublar, I also love it because it provides more depth to the Jurassic Park saga as well as giving fanfiction writers a good jumping off point for exploring his character.

 Ian is present in several Jurassic Park canons– the movies, the books, the comic books and several video games. Do you, in your mind, blend all of those canons to make up the same character– IE what he says and does in the books somehow happened “off camera” in the movies, etc– or do you have a particular favorite canon that you run with? Do you combine any two or three?

Interesting question. I would say I do a bit of blending, in other words I take into account the different aspects of his character that each canon illustrates. For example, we see the more cerebral, brooding aspect of his character in The Lost World than in the original Jurassic Park. While I prefer to write stories set in the world of the first film, I refer to his character development in other canons, and even other fanfictions, to give him depth and keep him in character.

How do you channel Ian’s voice in your writing– do you watch the movies, read other fanfics, etc. to “get into his head”? How well do you feel you’ve gotten his voice down?


I watch the movies on a regular basis, and I read other fanfictions and RPs on tumblr. I also participate in RPs and brainstorm story/scenario ideas with my beta reader, which really helps with getting to know his character.  I think I’ve gotten his voice down pretty well, but if I’m in doubt, I run my dialogue past my beta to make sure it passes muster.


You’ve written a romance series about Ian and your OC, Alice Sigrund. Tell us more about Alice. What’s she like? How does she fit into the JP universe?


The “When Ian Met Alice” series is a fluffy romance without much character development for Alice on purpose. OCs are controversial for many reasons in fanfic, and personally I can’t stand Mary Sues. I wanted Alice’s presence to make sense without being a rip off of either Ellie or Sara, which was admittedly difficult.

The concept of a “paleo social worker” was not at all fleshed out when I began writing. Both parts were finished and my beta asked “what exactly does a paleo social worker do?” Borrowing from the broad social work practice of building capacity for individuals and groups, a paleo social worker would study relationships and communication between humans and dinosaurs (and perhaps also dinosaurs and other species) with the goal of facilitating healthy relationships between all parties.

Though we are not present for their discussion when the party leaves the tour to check out the sick trike, Alice agrees with Ian that InGen scientists have not sufficiently considered the risks of reanimating creatures that have never before lived alongside man and animals.

 What’s the easiest part of writing for you? The hardest?


The easiest part is formulating the basic plot of the story/chapter, which, stereotypically, tends to come in a burst of inspiration. This is typically sparked by reading another fanfiction or tossing around ideas with my beta reader.

The most difficult part is balancing exposition and dialogue. I tend to write dialogue first, then try to flesh out the story by writing description and exposition around it. I mention the following because it’s germane to the discussion: I have a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder (specifically Asperger’s Syndrome) and I “think in pictures” as described by Dr. Temple Grandin. In writing, this means that I picture every detail of the scene like a movie and then transcribe it to paper, almost like a screenplay. I also have weak Theory of Mind skills, which means I have trouble figuring out what others “see and don’t see”, so I rely on my beta to point out where I’ve missed explaining background information clearly. Detail is very important!


What’s your favorite part of the Jurassic Park franchise? (Movie, book, game, comic book, etc.)


Definitely the first movie. I also love the original John Williams soundtrack and the Lego game that came out this past summer. I want to read the comics and am currently trying to track them down without paying $50 shipping from across the border, haha.


What’s your favorite dinosaur of all time and why?


I admit that as a child in the early 90s I was more into “The Land Before Time” than JP. My favourite character was Cera the triceratops and subsequently I always answered “triceratops!” when asked this question as a kid. After renewing my love for JP in recent times, I have a new appreciation for Rexy (her eyes are so expressive in her scene in JP), the raptors in JP and JW (the raptor pack are so cute the way they communicate amongst themselves, other dinosaurs, and Owen) as well as dimorphodons.  The reason for the last is I thought the dimorphodons in JW were pteranodon/T. Rex hybrids until it was pointed out to me that they were actual historical dinosaurs. I still think they look like flying Rexys.


I understand that you’re an avid Jurassic Park toy collector. What’s your favorite JP toy of all time and why?


Can I name one in two different categories of toys? … Assuming that’s a yes:
1. JP Series II Ian Malcolm – of course! I’ve collected action figures and toys from many of my favourite fandoms going back to childhood, and this figure is one of the best I’ve ever seen. The designers truly captured Jeff Goldblum’s likeness and the outfit with the leather jacket is spot-on movie accurate. The two subsequent Ian toys that reused this head sculpt, TLW Ian Malcolm and Glider Pack with Ian Malcolm, are also fantastic for that same reason. I’m not even going to tell you how many of these Ian figures I’ve collected – it’s in the double digits – but sometimes I post pictures of the Ian family on my tumblr blog.

2. JP Series I Jungle Explorer – the iconic tour vehicle. I was lucky to get a complete one on eBay from a town about two hours from where I live, along with the rest of the Series I humans. They make for a fantastic display in my apartment and just looking at it makes me happy.


If someone offered you the chance to go to Jurassic World. would you take it? What would you be most excited to see there?


That would be awesome! I have vacation time coming up in the new year. I’d love to escape my cold city for Isla Nublar in February.

I would love to see the baby dinosaurs, they just melted my heart in the film. It would be like seeing Little Foot and Cera for real! While I would definitely check out all the attractions, I’d love to take a peek at the old Visitors’ Centre. Do you think they’ll have that on the tour?

What are your opinions on the upcoming fifth movie? Do you like the direction it may take, with hybrid dinosaurs and dinosaurs on the mainland?


I understand that many feel the next step may be armed dinosaurs, further developing Hoskins’ idea. If the franchise goes that route, I hope the tradition of questioning the ethics around bioengineering is maintained. I mean, it’s not hard to see how unleashing armed raptors on the world could bring about, uh, chaos.


Should Ian Malcolm come back for JP5, or do you think his arc in the movies has come to a satisfying end?


I enthusiastically join the chorus of fans who want to see him return in a cameo to the current trilogy! However, I am impressed that his book was given a cameo in JW – that’s more of Ian that I expected to see in the new film, considering that none of the original main cast appear.

Do you have any ideas for what you’d like to write next? Will you continue your series?

I’m glad you asked. Since publishing the Alice series I have been working on a few things with my beta/collaborator. I have read most of the Ian fanfictions that are out there and I assure you, we are working hard to create a new universe and it’s gonna be a wild ride. Alice will be back, and her sister Laura is part of the drama as well. We haven’t decided if it will be published in chapters or as a whole, but it will be posted on AO3.

Thanks for the interview, Fourth Mrs. Malcolm. It was a pleasure!

You’re welcome and thank you for the opportunity to talk JP and Ian with you. Hey, maybe we could collaborate some time in the future!

Raptor Does Orlando

I realize that I’ve updated in even longer than I usually do, and while I apologize for that, there was definitely a reason: I was out in Florida, turning 18. That’s right, I had a birthday celebration and it was awesome! As always, there’s more JW news under this post and I understand if you don’t want to look at vacation photos, but this is on topic, I promise.

My adventure began the day before my birthday; I went to CityWalk, the shopping center in the Universal Studios complex. Doesn’t mean I didn’t get at least a bit of the Universal’s Jurassic Park experience, though. For instance, the lot we parked in:

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In the area between parking and the actual park area, there was a giant screen where a virtual reality simulation was playing. It was sponsored by Chase cards, I think, and it involved projecting computer-animated scenarios onto a certain area. One of them was an alien abduction, and one of them was Jurassic Park. That person you see kneeling next to the compys is me, as if that weren’t evident enough from the Ian Malcolm costume and the aura of total dorkiness.

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The scene also involved a special visit from the queen:

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What you don’t see in those pictures is me cooing happily and reaching out to watch myself pet the triceratops on the screen. You also don’t see me throwing my arms out and yelling “Come at me, Rexy!” Yep, I’m a mature adult now, all right.

I didn’t get to go to any actual Universal parks although I would’ve liked to, but that’s not to say I didn’t have an awesome time while I was there.

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For instance, I’ve said before that I got to visit Margarita Guy’s house, but this time I think I actually got to step into his permanent residence, since the official Jurassic Park theme park is less than a mile away from the place.

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And the guy has a sense of decoration that’s, well… unique.

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Did he kill all those stuffed sharks with alcohol poisoning?

That was all of the especially JP-themed stuff at that particular place, other than the stuff at the Universal gift shop, where I found a beautiful, well-made, Universal-exclusive Blue plushie. We had some good times, her and I.

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She’s such a flirt.

To go slightly off-topic, the mini-golf course at CityWalk was truly phenomenal and if any of you live near there, I recommend checking it out immediately. It was like a theme park ride in golf form. The theme was “alien invaders” and the designers truly went insane with it. And when I say insane, I mean giant ****ing robot and Area 51 set insane.

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They also have an extraordinarily detailed Forrest Gump-themed restaurant there called Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. (Some of you may have been to one, but I’m told they don’t exist outside of this country.) Here’s my awesome dad outside of it.

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The next day (my actual birthday) I went to Downtown Disney, which is also a shopping center on theme park property. They did have a couple of JP screen-used props, and while they aren’t too momentous, they are pieces of original-trilogy canon.

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They have a map of Isla Nublar that was used on screen. Surprisingly, it isn’t as detailed as the maps made by fans such as the encyclopedia people at JPLegacy. It showed dinosaur paddocks and locations of facilities, and not much else.

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They also have a brochure used in the film. I think the art on the front might be one of the original, unused ideas for the movie poster, and I believe the art on the inside is what would eventually become the mural on the Sorna production facility’s wall (the one Nick Van Owen finds).

There were a lot of awesome props there (lots from The Hunger Games) but a couple of them stood out. For instance, the miniature for the alien ship in Independence Day:

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As well as a Brundlefly puppet from The Fly:

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I gotta say, seeing that Goldblum monster in person was a huge highlight. It was so detailed and so wonderfully scary. Here I am grinning like an idiot next to it.

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Doesn’t mean I’d wanna meet it in a dark alley, though.

The last major, awesome thing I got to see was the T. Rex Cafe. It’s like the Rainforest Cafe except bigger and with dinosaurs, and it’s exactly as awesome as it sounds. I must’ve spent two hours there, marveling in the sets and cooing at the baby dinos. I normally don’t advocate for touching animatronics, but it was my 18th birthday and I was going to pet some freaking baby dinosaurs.

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The whole place was beautiful in general– it did a great job of replicating a prehistoric forest, complete with pteranodons on the ceilings, prehistoric trees and dinosaur families hidden among the foliage. The prettiest part of it, though, was the ice cave. It shifted colors and everything, and it really drove home the Ice Age feeling of one section of the restaurant.

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There was also a very lovely aquatic section, featuring a giant octopus with moving tentacles.

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I’m, er, not the biggest fan of giant octopi.

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This was my personal favorite baby: an apatosaur. I named him Fred, and what we had was special.

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His mother wasn’t as happy, but I managed to earn her respect with an offering of side salad.

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The dinosaurs, flying reptiles and woolly mammoths there may not have been the most accurate, but they sure were amazing.

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There were several tyrannosaurs and the same went for them, but c’mon, who can argue with a life-sized T. rex that bellows at you?

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Or a cute little rex baby, for that matter?

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I made a few good decisions regarding proximity to the animals–

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One of the little paras turned and honked at me. My heart melted.

— and some Sarah Harding decisions.

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But considering who I was, there was no way I wasn’t going to take care of the animals Ellie did. Specifically, the adorable triceratops, of which there were many.

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The fact that I was dressed as Ellie also afforded me some awesome cosplay photo opportunities, such as:

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Paleontology…
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…showing off my specimens…
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…and feeling conflicted as a feminist.

And that, friends, leads me to my final photo and story. At the beginning of the day, when my dad was getting a coffee at Starbucks, a man walked behind us who looked just like John Hammond. Beard, white shirt, hat– all that was missing was his cane. I whispered some sort of joke about wanting to tell the guy off about not recognizing the power of this place, and I thought that would be it. But what did my father do? He flagged the guy down and asked for a picture. Luckily, the man was very sweet, and that’s how it came to be that my Ellie costume came in a lot of handy.

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God bless you, unintentional Hammond guy.

Special thanks to my parents, who got me Jurassic World on DVD and a set of 15 blindbag dinosaurs for my birthday; and to Fourth Mrs. Malcolm, who is an angel/ precious cupcake/ all-around wonderful person and who sent me a set of vintage JP hatchlings, an Ellie figure, a lego Malcolm and the JP soundtrack on CD, along with all sorts of other awesome things, for my birthday. You rock, guys.

Happy Birthday, Ian Malcolm!

There has been a lot of Jurassic World news coming in lately, and I’m going to cover it, I promise– it’s fascinating, and those who haven’t seen the latest news will be thrilled. (In other words, I will do sane things again, I promise.) For today, though, it’s Jeff Goldblum’s birthday and I thought I should celebrate! So I threw a little party for my Ian Malcolms who, hopefully, are turning something a bit under 63 today.

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First I got them cake, punch and party hats.

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Then the guests showed up! Frank the Pug, ET, Bellatrix Lestrange and MEIKO were a few of those in attendance. Marie Antionette showed up too, mostly because she heard that people would be eating cake.

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Then it was time for them to open presents!

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I gave them puppies of their very own, which they proceeded to name Heisenberg, Lorenz and Mandelbrot.

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Then it was time for a dance party! There was lots of Bon Jovi and… well, actually it was pretty much all Bon Jovi.

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And here they are with all their presents and guests, including a tiny TV I got them. They’ll be watching and correcting science programs in no time.

My friend Fourth Mrs. Malcolm (who you may know as Last Mrs. Malcolm on JPLegacy) also threw a party for her Ians! Her collection is far more extensive than mine, though. I bow to her.

Happy birthday, Jeff Goldblum and Ian Malcolm, and many happy returns!

Jurassic World: Operational Again?

Not everyone takes the official Jurassic World website as hard-and-fast canon– and considering the movie advertisements that pepper the main page, neither do I– but lately it has been showing us some very, very interesting things. The least of which is the “technical difficulties” banner: it’s been taken down, and now we’ve regained this:

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If that were the only thing on the website that changed, I wouldn’t be making any assumptions now– I’d say it was because the Blu-ray is out, and Universal didn’t want to spoil the movie for people who were about to watch it for the first time. That might still be the case. However, there are a couple of other additions to the website that make me wonder if there’s something different going on, and if the park might be open once again.

Go and take a look through the park map on the website, I promise it’s worth it. There’s the gyrosphere ride, the bamboo forest, the pachy arena– hey, what’s that?

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Ohhhh my–

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Well, who knows whether or not it’s open to the public, but that’s the original visitors’ center, all right. Right now I’m going to talk about this and the rest of the additions through the lens of them being a part of canon; it won’t be as simple as the obvious explanation (it’s a tidbit that could be added now that the original VC’s presence isn’t a surprise) but they must be in World canon for at least some logical reason, so I may as well look for it.

The reason Simon Masrani kept the building up in the first place, presented in the movie, was that he wanted to humble people and remind them of why they needed to work on making this park different from the last. But I thought the people he was trying to do that to were his employees, not every singe visitor. I guess I could see him doing that, but if he has the same philosophies about the old park as Claire does, why would he open a symbol of the disaster that JW was built on, which according to her morals, would be the epitome of disrespect?

If it were treated with reverence and as more of a memorial than anything– if it were an attraction in the same way that Ground Zero is an attraction in New York City– then I could understand it. The pictures on the page seem to emphasize this, focusing on small details such as the relief above the door and the front of an old JP jeep instead of sweeping shots of the building. Maybe Masrani really did want to create a memorial to something he saw as a great idea, and wanted nobody to forget where the park came from and where it could go. Or, and this can be in conjunction with the rest, Jurassic World was reopened with a “nothing is hidden” policy so that the public could keep the eye on security that it demanded. Either way, it could be interpreted one of two ways– sweet, or worse than Lowery’s shirt.

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How much do you think THESE will get on Ebay?

A couple other things have been added, which don’t have full attraction pages but which are tucked away with the rest of the attractions nonetheless:

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Well, this just raises more questions. Since it doesn’t have a full page, I’m assuming this is either restricted to the public entirely and exists on the map only as a placeholder; it’s only available to tourists for viewing and not visiting, and Masrani thought it’d be distasteful to advertise the site of somebody’s death as an attraction; or there will be a page and it just hasn’t come up yet. (I hope it’s the last one. I’d love to see what the old Rex paddock looks like after all this time.) You know, I would say that showcasing the site of the T. rex attack– which was most definitely described to the public in as many accounts as were written– is saying something disrespectful to the people who survived the original “InGen Incident”, but really, the whole existence of this park is saying that already. I do have to hand it to these people. When they piss off Grant, Malcolm and Sattler, they do it big.

There’s one more addition to the park map (or more of a revision of an existing attraction), and it opens up even more possibilities:

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I’m guessing the 4-raptor thing is either an oversight by the park management, and they just forgot to update this part of the site; or unwillingness by park management to show every bit of damage that went down in the park, and they can get away with it since no visitors see the raptors in the first place anyway. They seem equally logical to me. Also, 73% training acceptance? The girls have a rebellious streak (which we knew already, but still)!  Born to be 27% wild, you go, girls!

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“Born 1/4 as free as the wind blows, born 1/4 as free as the grass grows…”

We (speaking as the assumed, in-universe audience for this site) also get a glimpse at the raptors, where before all we could see was a bunch of empty harnesses:

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The raptors appear to have had their colors enhanced a bit, and I love the way it looks. Or am I color-blind, and each raptor had those distinct colors and markings in the movie from the beginning? I noticed only the slightest differences between the non-Blue raptors when I saw it on the big screen, and I couldn’t tell them apart at night, so maybe I just wasn’t looking closely enough. But if the girls didn’t look as different in the movie as they do in that picture, I really wish that they had and that the Blu-ray has amended this. I love how Echo looks in particular.

That’s it for the park map, but not for the rest of the site. There have been four new Raptorpasses since the movie was released. First, let’s see my favorite:

This is a really awesome and sweet ad that works very well with the rest of the in-universe advertisement, and I wish it had aired on TV during the leadup to the movie. It’s very well-done and cute, although I can see why they waited to air it, as it shows pretty much every shot of baby dinos in the movie. You can probably imagine how I feel about this, since it has baby dinosaurs in it, so I won’t bother with the fangirling because there’s only so much screaming about babies that I can do before aaahhhhhhhh look it’s the shot where the baby licked her hand! It’s the sweet little baby apatosaur AND THERE’S THE DINOSAUR HUG! THE APATOSAUR HUGGING HIM BACK, THERE IT IS, AND THERE’S ALL THE LITTLE TRIKES AND AND AND–

And here’s my second favorite– technically it’s 2 passes’ worth, but whatever–

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I believe the first 2 posters come as a Barnes and Noble exclusive with the Blu-ray, and the other two are about to become exclusives that come with my school’s color printer. I like the second two best, partially because they feature original art and not vectors, and partially because just look at that mosasaur! They look like something that should be hung up in a queue area of an Epcot ride or something. I don’t know who designed these, but kudos to whoever did.

The last one is a 360-degree, “interactive” (I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to rotate the camera or interact with the video in any way, and if anyone does, I’d greatly appreciate if they’d tell me) video of Chris Pratt riding his motorcycle. You get to watch him film his jungle ride sequence from the roving camera on the back of a truck while Trevorrow shouts orders from an undefined location in the background, so that’s fun:

Unrelated to any Jurassic World news, I finally got the Mosasaur toy I’ve been looking for for ages! I didn’t do one of my ridiculous photo shoots (yet), but I did arrange a meeting.

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He heard she killed the hybrid, and it was love at first sight.

And unrelated to that, I drew something for JPL’s Last Mrs. Malcolm this week. World, meet Malcolmosasaurus.

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