Tag Archives: Novels

Jurassic Park Junior Novelization

As some of you may know (I legitimately don’t know how much I’ve posted about this in the past) I’ve been looking for a Jurassic Park Junior Novelization for quite some time now. Mostly this was because I wanted to see if it showed any deleted scenes like the Jurassic World novelization did, but also partially because of the Jurassic Park Legacy Encyclopedia article that says that Ian Malcolm was described as an ex-hippie in it (he was not). But I was unsuccessful in obtaining this bit of unique canon until my friend Mike Jenkins graciously sent me a package of Jurassic Park stuff that included a copy. Let’s dig in, shall we?

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The book comes with some cool full-color photos. As you can see, there are a few shots of the cast members, the only prelude to which could possibly have been, “Picture time, get in character and make it snappy, we’re on a schedule here! Smile!… Eh, or don’t, the kids won’t care.” It also includes a snapshot from the deleted scene where Ellie grabs the fern. This one:

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Just like the JW novelization, a couple of short deleted scenes and lines are included. For instance, the explanation of the sick triceratops’ ailment. Just like in the novel, Alan and Ellie figure out that the root of the problem is the triceratops swallowing West Indian lilac berries when she gulps down her gizzard stones:

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As for deleted lines, there are quite a few of them. Muldoon drops some sick puns:

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Malcolm snarks it up. Everybody say it with me— IAN, YOU COMPLETE DORK:

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Hammond makes an offer that no sane person could refuse, yet everyone does. Why? Who hurt you, scientists, why would you throw away the opportunity to pet a dinosaur:

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Nedry hurts the poor dilophosaur’s widdle feelings! He deserves what he gets:

Dilophosaur hurt feelings

And we learn why there were kids at the dig site, a question that people who are just into the movies enough to thoroughly question the logic in them but not enough to actually make an effort to find the answers to their questions have been asking for a long time:

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Plus Mr. DNA gets one of the creepiest lines he could possibly have had—“I’m Mr. DNA. I come from your blood.”

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“I live inside you at this very moment. I run through your veins. Do not try to escape.”

But the novelization also leaves out some of the most memorable parts of the movie, leading me to think that most of said lines were either added at the last minute or ad-libbed (which would be awesome— can you imagine Bob Peck being really into character and surprising everyone, even himself, by saying “Clever girl”?). For instance, Ellie’s line about sexism in survival situations is gone (as well as the part where Malcolm took over instructing Ellie and reading the schematic despite being out of his mind on morphine; thanks for throwing out one of the most bad*** things he does in this, novel):

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As is “Clever girl”:

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Oh yeah, and “raptor” is always capitalized in this. I suppose they’re very dignified and high-ranking creatures.

It also leaves out something that bothers me as a Malcolm fan: it just says that Ian ran from the Jeep and got hurt (it doesn’t even mention the flare), therefore negating the extremely important reason why he did it. I realize that this is told largely from Grant’s perspective (which I’ll get to in a little while) and that this wasn’t exactly the time for deep character analysis, but it bothers me nonetheless. It’s a huge part of Malcolm’s characterization that he was completely willing to risk certain death to save two kids he’d known for less than a day, and that he was distracting Rexy with the flare to buy Grant time to get the kids to safety; this could’ve been shown with a quick mention that he was yelling “Get the kids!” while running. But eh, what are you gonna do:

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Malcolm isn’t the only one who isn’t shown getting the redemption and character development that the movie gave him. In this version, Lex doesn’t hack the system, everybody does:

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Yaaaay, TEAMWORK!

But what’s left out doesn’t ruin the book at all. In fact, compared to the JW novelization, I’m thrilled with how this handles the characters, as well as the scary subject matter. The scenes are very suspenseful and well-described, and it isn’t afraid to get a little gory now and then:

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It should also be noted that the way it shows Rexy’s comeback is fantastic. The mighty T. rex!:

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“I’m a mother****in’ T. rex!” *wicked guitar riff*

As for the different types of non-kiddie subject matter, this reminds me a lot of how the JW book handled Claire and Owen’s relationship. For instance, it skips over Malcolm’s incredibly awkward flirting attempt:

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But it’s totally fine with showing his far less appropriate line about lifting up the dinosaurs’ skirts. No problem there at all, why on earth would they cut that out:

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As I mentioned, this book is very much told from Grant’s perspective.

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Although it doesn’t even pretend to know about his profession.

It shows a lot of really, really sweet moments between him and Ellie, which I would’ve loved to see in the movie. Heck, I would’ve even taken some of this adorable banter if it had happened in JP3:

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Of course, Alan. You’re leaving your girlfriend alone with an attractive, flirtatious mathematician and the Wizard of Oz’s Cowardly Lawyer. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

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Interestingly enough, we also discover that it wasn’t that Alan didn’t mind that Ian was hitting on his girlfriend in the car less than 2 feet away, it was that he legitimately didn’t notice. Interpret freely:

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By far, though, my favorite parts of the book are the extra bits where we see him connecting with the kids and really growing to love them. If you ask me, he had plenty of development in that department in the movie, but this goes the extra mile with it and I love it.

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Shh, shh, he’ll take care of them!
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He uses psychology on them!
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The drainpipe scene from the novel!
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He lets Tim hold his other hand!
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He comforts them!
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HE FREAKING KISSES THEIR FOREHEADS! AWWWW!
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He hold their hands while they snuggle!

In addition, Lex’s crush on Alan is played up a lot more, and although it’s cute, I can kind of see why some of it didn’t end up in the movie:

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And in the final scene, the book does a great job of capturing the spirit of the movie’s end. You can hear the soft piano theme playing as you read:

Ending

So overall, I love this book, even more than I loved the JW one. Its writing was enthusiastic and fun, it kept the heart of the movie and I’m not kidding one bit when I say that I laughed and screeched out loud at the parts that weren’t included in the movie. I don’t know where you could get one besides Ebay, thrift stores or having an amazing friend unexpectedly send one to you, but if you can get your hands on one, this would be a great keepsake for any fan of the first movie. Oh yeah, and kids might like it too.

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Everything I Got Wrong About Jurassic World

Time for a long, long post! I do apologize for the break in posting, but now that there isn’t exactly a flood of Jurassic World news, I’m gonna have to start on a schedule of posting every few days instead of daily.

Up until a little more than a week ago, the primary purpose of this blog was to speculate about Jurassic World and what would happen in it. And boy, I did a lot of speculating. Some of my guesses were hits and some were misses. Well, actually the majority of my guesses were misses. Here, starting roughly at the beginning of The Jurassic Adventures of Raptor Dash’s archive and ending at the point where I pretty much gave up on guessing because the movie was coming out so soon, is everything I got wrong about Jurassic World, and a few things I got right. I should point out now that there were no wild raptors in the movie—if I addressed every single time I speculated about those, we’d be here all night.

That right there is an albino dinosaur […] Maybe that’s its ‘in-between setting’ for when it’s not camouflaging to match anything […]  it’s appropriately fearsome and looks part- allosaur, part-giganotosaur and part- carcharodontosaur. Lego Dinosaurs Leaked

I was right about the color thing, but wrong about the genetics. I would’ve been right if Allosaurus, Carcharodontosaurus or Giganotosaurus were abeliosaurs, but unfortunately they are not. I still think she looks like a Giganotosaurus in a few ways, though.

Futuristic pod-monorail things! Jurassic World Website, Part 2

You guys remember what this was like? Knowing so little about the movie that we didn’t even know the names of the Gyrospheres? Whew.

I guess we know where that shot of the fallen East Dock sign came from now. Looks like they found that Barbasol can after all, or at least went looking for it.

Sadly, we didn’t end up getting any Barbasol can action. With the merchandising tie-in you’d think that Barbasol would shell out a couple million to promote their product in a franchise where fans would actively want their product placement, but I guess that’s their loss. Maybe Trevorrow knew it would never happen and wanted to give a previous-movie shoutout that he knew wouldn’t end up in the final film.

 If there’s a spino in the movie, maybe it’ll be aquatic.

The fact that Trevorrow didn’t put a Spino in the movie, aquatic or not, proves to me that there actually is some inherent good in mankind.

Second, Pratt has said in the past that his character was a cross between Malcolm and Grant, and I see that now, along with a pinch of Muldoon. He might not be too original, but hey, we loved those three characters. If they’ve got a winning formula, why not use it? WE’VE GOT A FULL-LENGTH TRAILER!

Looking back on this, I think Owen was a lot more Muldoon and more Grant, and less Malcolm, than we expected. His hitting on Claire and speeches about the impossibility of dinosaur control were about where the Malcolm ended; the way he feared and respected the animals was very Muldoon, and his sheer enthusiasm for dinosaurs (especially since his specialty was raptors) and how he looked at things realistically and from the animals’ perspective, was the Grant part of the equation. He was Muldoon enough to realize that his raptors were dangerous animals and to know how they behaved, but Grant enough to love and accept them for what they were.

(Referring to an I. rex chase) Is she trying to eat one of the movie’s obligatory kids? Is that the older brother with the Bieber cut running from her?

Nope, she was trying to eat Owen, although my guess was accurate later on in the movie. Also, both boys had Bieber cuts, just in different lengths.

And then, oh look, another throwback. This time it’s to the tent scene in The Lost World; Gray appears to be in a tent, and the shadow of a large, growling animal falls over his face. 

This refers to the scene that we now know involves the boys hiding with Owen in a gift shop. I think there was really only one major Lost World reference in the whole movie (Barry hiding in a log as Blue attacked); given the general public’s view of Lost World, I can’t blame Trevorrow for not bringing it up a lot.

Could… could it be? Do I dare to believe? Is that a Malcolm cameo by a different actor? 

It was not—the guy I was referring to was actually the boys’ father— and I’m still a little conflicted about whether or not I would have been okay with this. All in all, the book cameo was a good compromise. It seemed like a way of telling us that Malcolm was doing fine (and probably rolling in cash) in-universe without dragging him kicking and screaming into another dinosaur incident. I would have loved to have seen him in JW, of course, but not played by someone other than Goldblum. (Amusingly enough, the night after I saw JW for the first time, I had a dream about that very thing happening.)

[…] what if a portion of the sharks that they manufacture is released into the wild, and Jurassic World is helping to rebuild the world’s great white population? What if the conservation side effect of that facility helped convince the government that Jurassic World was a good idea, and excused the fact that the park actively feeds members of an endangered species to one of their animals? New Jack Horner Interview

This would have been pretty cool if it were made canon—if Masrani is such a philanthropist and he’s the only one in the world with advanced cloning technology, he could at least do one little thing to help the environment outside of Nublar—but it wasn’t. In fact, last I checked, people were still whining about the shark-eating scene. I love animals and support conservation, and even I don’t think that one portrayal gives harmful messages about great whites. What, is someone going to see the movie and decide to imitate it by killing a great white and feeding it to their mosasaur?

 I wonder if this means Tim was involved in the creation of the park after all, like some people have speculated? Another Hammond Statue?

For all that the movie had, it was sorely lacking in the Tim department. Some believe this was a good thing.

[On the rumor about I. rex having human DNA] This has to be fake. Whoever wrote this must be messing with us, because this doesn’t make any sense. If it is real, though— which is very unlikely—wow. The plot just thickened.More About the Story/ What?

I don’t know if I was wrong or right about the human DNA, because it was never confirmed or denied; the fact that Indominus had thumbs and her primate-like problem-solving hint toward this rumor being true, but since the movie never even brought up the possibility, it’ll probably be the subject of many, many arguments to come. So I can’t tell you if Nuke the Fridge was messing with us. Sorry.

https://raptordash.wordpress.com/page/13/

Some pictures of napkins and paper plates from a Jurassic World party set or something were leaked recently. They showed the I. rex, Dimorphodon and Pteranodon. The design on the first two was…  well, amazing. The I. rex looked incredible. Incredible. It even had feathers, guys. Not many, but feathers. I. Rex Leaks

Yeah, remember when that went down? I did make a bit too big of a deal about it when it happened because I love to sit back and watch chaos/ riots/ ****storms unfold, but it was still a big part of the leadup to the movie and thus has its place in the history books. Also, I did not notice a single feather on the movie’s finished Indominus.

There’s no mention of plesiosaurs anywhere on the website or in the leaked brochure, but the plot of the entire movie does revolve around the fact that the park’s scientists are creating entirely new dinosaurs in their lab that no one else knows about. Keeping the Rumor Train Chugging

This was referring to the vaguely-identified source who told Sickle_Claw on JPLegacy a few details that he claimed to have gotten from seeing the unfinished movie. The source’s account was hotly debated at the time, with some people believing him totally and others scoffing. We now know that the guy was completely and utterly full of crap. Not a single thing he said was true; that doesn’t upset me, but it is nice to clear that up in retrospect. If things were more exciting in this fan community, I’d think it was a rival fandom pulling one over on us. Do we even have rival fandoms?

omfg

New Toy/ Another Trailer Leak; The Plot Thickens

*sigh*

[about I. rex] Wow, I thought she’d have a paddock, but apparently she’s the center of an arena attraction. I. Rex is Official/ LEGO game/ Jake Johnson Speaks

Nope, she had a paddock, the exterior of which would have looked like an arena had it ever been completed. An arena show probably would have been the next step, though. Man, and we thought I. rex’s life sucked the way things were. Can you imagine if the poor animal had had to perform for people on top of everything else she went through?

[…] absolutely no dinosaur will ever be cooler than T. rex in this franchise. Sorry, it’s just never gonna happen.

One thing I did not and will never get wrong. (Or at least that I didn’t get wrong until Blue showed up.)

Hopefully they let the poor animal out for exercise sometime when there aren’t visitors gawking at her. That or, even in-universe, it’s pretty much a foregone conclusion that she’ll break out at some point.

Well, the only exercise the poor animal ever got was chasing Owen and Unfortunate Portly Man #1, and Masrani did have a foregone conclusion that something was going to break out sometime or another, so I guess I was sort of right. It’s kind of funny how my sympathy for I. rex and ability not to hate her as a villain was high at around this point, it got lower and lower until after I saw the movie, and now it’s spiking again. I’ve noticed a similar trend with a lot of other people, too.

(Can we nickname her Indy? I would really like if we could all get together and decide to nickname her Indy.)

Happily enough, that’s I. rex’s most popular nickname right now!

Since we’ll need to do a lot of reality-facing if this turns out to be canon, I might as well talk about what Stegoceratops in the movie might imply. Obviously it would have to be created by the same scientists who made D. rex, and probably with the same intentions. Either that or it’s a failed genetic experiment, a splicing mistake that came to be before they perfected DNA mixing. If it’s the second, it’ll probably break out of its containment/enclosure and get its revenge on the scientists, driving home the movie’s moral–  come on, can you see this animal’s story arc ending any other way? I can also kinda see Owen finding this hidden away in a lab, and that being the moment he realizes that messing with DNA is never OK, or whatever. However it turns out, this animal doesn’t look like it lives a pleasant life. I have a feeling it’s some kind of representation of the darker side of Jurassic World. Hero Masher Pictures

I was totally right about Owen finding Stegoceratops (or at least a representation of it) hidden away in a secret lab, and it was made by the same people who created I. rex, so hooray! Unfortunately or fortunately depending on who you ask, Stegoceratops didn’t make it into the movie in the flesh—Trevorrow says he was planning to put it in, as a failed hybrid living in the Restricted Zone, until his son convinced him that it was a bad idea—and it didn’t go on a rampage and symbolically destroy stuff. However, there are always sequels, and I. rex’s story arc definitely involved a rogue hybrid destroying the evil corporations that gave it its painful existence. It wouldn’t be too out-there for that to happen again.

For instance, someone just felt like it was really, really necessary for us all to sit down and watch the goings-on at Maintenance Alley 6. More Website Features

I may be wrong, but the second time I saw JW, I realized something—they probably included a maintenance alley on the park-cam rotation because Claire, Owen and the boys were in a maintenance alley right after the Main Street attack. The scene where Owen backed up the car took place in one, and Claire and Owen might have driven through one on their way to pick up the boys. One of those was likely #6.

Oh boy, an aquatic park! I bet Mosasaur really likes that big dinner tray the park designers made her. I’m waiting with bated breath for I. rex to slash the line and eat the gondolas like the Grinch gathering Christmas wreaths, and does this aviary thing mean there’ll be a novel-like aviary scene to go with the waterfall scene? I really hope so.

Although every single one of these is a beautiful concept and I would have cried if I’d seen them in the final picture (we didn’t even see the inside of Aquatic Park, and Mosasaur definitely didn’t have her snacky time there; I find this the greatest injustice) they simply were not meant to be. Also, I seem to have forgotten when I wrote this that we did get an aviary scene straight from the first novel—it was in JP3. Oops.

That’s a really clear expression, I wonder if she has a wide range of facial expressions– and if that could come from human DNA. Super Bowl Trailer

I. rex didn’t seem to have any distinct facial expressions other than the one she pulled at the end of Claire and Masrani’s viewing scene. That doesn’t necessarily rule out the possibility of human DNA, but it makes it less plausible considering that even the raptors could make several facial expressions. But then again, that could just be because the skin on I. rex’s face was stretched within an inch of its life. She was so shrink-wrapped I’m surprised she could even dislodge her jaw.

Again, it’s cool if she’d rather be indoors, but I hope it’s not a big plot point that she’s prissy.

Claire wasn’t any prissier than she needed to be, and there was really only one comment made about her disdain for the outdoors, thank God.

In that case, someone will probably have to go after an escaped Mosa in the movie, and they’ll have to do it somewhere bigger than her tank. I assume that means she’ll get into the ocean… Katie McGrath, Mosasaur Toy & I. Rex’s Mommy Issues

Even more sadly than the Aquatic Park letdown, Mosasaur did not swim off to find brighter horizons like some kind of unspeakably terrifying Free Willy.

[About a raptor picture in a JW gift shop] The trained raptors are clearly featherless and I doubt they’d put photos of wild Nublar or Sorna raptors in their gift shop, so what is this? Either time will tell or I have a severe lighting-related wishful thinking problem.

Today I found out that I have a severe lighting-related wishful thinking problem.

If [Masrani is] a rich playboy who flies helicopters like a maniac, is full of himself and likes to prance around in designer suits because he can’t help being fabulous, I am positively floored because, not only will we have a human villain to hate instead of focusing on how EVIIIIL the I. rex is, he won’t be a Hammond expy like I feared. He’ll be a unique character– an insufferable character, but a unique one. Simon Masrani: A Profile

I was right about everything except Masrani being full of himself (as far as we know) and being the main villain. He flies helicopters like a maniac indeed, which I’ve gotta say I’m glad made it to the final film. By the way, please click on that link, because I can’t be the only one who ever notices the amber ring thing.

I’m being cautiously optimistic for now, but as always, things can change. (If they do, please please please let T. rex beat both I. rex and Spino in a 2-against-1 fight. I would love that more than words can say.) Better Toy Photos

Well, I mean, T. rex sorta did

But we now know that at some point, Mosa will probably have an all-access pass to the entire park and will be dining on rich people until her monstrous tummy has all its yum-yums. Meet Vic Hoskins

No giant mosasaur tummy yum-yums— truly, the most wasted potential in the entire film.

My personal guess is that he’ll go one of two ways. Either he’ll try to steal a dinosaur and take it to the mainland/ sell it/ genetically alter it in drastic ways (less likely) or he’ll be so enamored with defending the dinosaurs that he’ll even kill people to keep the animals safe […] Oh, and let’s not kid ourselves: he’s dino chow.

Guess I was right the first time.

For the sake of time and unnecessary worrying, let’s just assume that this is the least disgraceful option possible—that the headgear is only for transporting the animals and they aren’t lead around like dogs with muzzles on, or wearing some sort of Raptor Google Glass high-tech headgear. Toys, Toys Everywhere (Yes, There Are Legos)

I’m pretty happy that, of all the things that the black harnesses on the Lego raptors’ heads could have been, they only turned out to be cameras. I mean, we saw the raptors getting immobilized and muzzled for a good few minutes, and as a fan of the wild, murderous raptors in the first and second movies, that really got my goat. But at least it wasn’t terrible. At least they didn’t have to run around with their jaws clamped shut.

I know I’ve said this before, but enjoy this post while it’s up, folks; if I’m ever getting C&D’d for a post, it’s gonna be this one. Jurassic World Costumes

Welp, that didn’t end up happening either.

As you can see in the bottom left corner, someone’s activated the park system’s master control. Something’s telling me Owen did that, and really, I can’t see that turning out well. Either the hero of the movie will just get into the computer system and automatically know what to do to re-contain the dinosaurs and/ or save the day, or we’ve got an animal trainer who seems to have little to no experience running every system in the whole park, and things can pretty much only go downhill. New Jurassic World Pictures!

The “master control” thing must have just been a background thing, because it was never brought up; considering that the screenshot I discussed here was from the scene where everyone in the control room watches the ACUs get eaten, it may have had something to do with Vivian putting out a park-wide alert. Anyway, no hacking was involved, though I really would love it if Lowery was a hacker. Heck, he operates computers all day and he’s easily the biggest nerd on the island—there’s no way to prove he doesn’t play around with old UNIX systems in his free time.

Let’s see, we’ve got a carnivore with a high aggression index that definitely eats terrestrial animals and not fish, is tall enough to wade through deep water and who probably isn’t allowed to kill the herbivores around it for food… oh, I know, let’s put it in the one place guests can get really close to dinosaurs without any fences! New Jurassic World Dinosaurs & New Masrani Video

Since I wrote this, I’ve pretty much accepted the explanation that there was secure invisible-fence technology between kayakers and dinosaurs, and I’ve also pointed out that apatosaurs could freely wade through the water, as close to visitors as they wanted. Neither of those matters now, because the only look at the Cretaceous Cruise that we saw in the movie was the two-second shot from the trailer—and what a cop-out that was, huh? I’d still like to find out how they kept guests safe from Metriacanthosaurus, Suchomimus and Baryonyx, though, and why those carnivores were even there in the first place. (Probably because they were scavengers and only there to pick off dead herbivores, although that would raise the question of why there were lots of corpses to be disposed of in the first place. But the issue was never addressed in canon, so it’s an argument that I’m looking forward to listening to for the next few years.)

Wiesner, by the way, is the CFO of the company. Some are saying he’ll show up in the movie, but nobody knows for sure at the moment. More Masrani News

Weisner didn’t show up in the movie, but he was originally set to. A few months ago, someone posted on Wikipedia that Weisner was supposed to be played by James DuMont. What role the CFO of the company could possibly have played that Masrani couldn’t, I have no idea, but that’s probably why the part was cut.

I think Hoskins might have had the idea to train raptors for his own ~sinister reasons~ and just got Owen and Omar to do it for him. I’m fairly sure he’s planning something, being the villain and all, that involves using raptors as weapons and that’s fairly nasty. Maybe the raptor training is what the mysterious Project IBRIS from the Masrani site is. Also, maybe Hoskins will get eaten because he underestimated the raptors’ relationship with Owen, or because he saw them as controllable machines instead of volatile wild animals (a major theme from the first movie), or even thought they were stupid (in a way similar to Nedry.) Calling it now– the raptors will take him down somehow. Omar Sy: Raptor Guy

Aww yeah! Called all of it! We never got confirmation as to what Project IBRIS was, but I called the rest!

Perhaps it’s actually intended for their well-being; dinosaurs might still be coming down with ancient diseases, and park management could be hiding this fact from the public.Random News: Henry Wu: The Comeback Tour Edition

This was in regard to a Masrani update about InGen making new discoveries in the field of ancient diseases. As it turns out, paleopathology had nothing to do with the story line. I can’t imagine how they’d fit that into the movie anyhow.

Now this is really starting to excite me, if it means what I think it does. If the boys– AKA potential I. rex chow– head back to the new park after tromping around in the jungle (where we know I. rex goes at some point), that means she will in all likelihood follow them back. Pair that with a fence that’s at least temporarily non-electric and the fact that this is far enough into the movie that Claire’s probably already released the T. rex, and we’ve got a mid-park T. rex/ I. rex showdown. “Major Leakage

Well, I was sorta right about this. We did get a mid-park showdown (which I’d hoped for since it was officially confirmed that the two of them would fight) but Rexy didn’t get to tromp around the Restricted Zone until the very end. I would be disappointed by this if her entrance in the final fight scene wasn’t so unspeakably epic.

Look at these children. They have just been attacked by an enormous, mutant monster. They nearly got ripped apart, and look at them now, they’re injury-free and clean as whistles. Some New Pictures

This still bothered me in the final film. I realize now why Claire was the only member of the main group to get really dirty or torn-up— it was symbolic because she represented the park, and as Jurassic World fell to pieces, so did her appearance—but the boys and Owen looked like they’d just been out for a short jog and they’d gotten slightly inconvenienced, causing them to sweat a lot but not much else. I mean, the boys crawled around in mud at one point and they still looked, at worst, like a couple of kids who’d played outside for a little too long.

We’re pretty much in agreement that the visitor’s center is getting attacked at some point, presumably with lots of visitors inside, right? Now look at the design of the VC in that picture. It looks kind of like an ancient Mayan pyramid where humans were sacrificed. Hmm. New TV Spot

Nobody died in the Innovation Center in particular—although the pteranodon attack took place very, very close to it—but I still think the Mayan pyramid thing was kind of intentional.

How long has this I. rex project really been in development, and could it have been a secret project (maybe led by Hoskins) that they just decided to put on display as a cover for their real intentions?

Given the mysterious nature of Wu and Hoskins’ relationship, I don’t think it’s too far-fetched that this is true. It’s a little suspicious that Henry gave I. rex the exact genome that would make her into an ideal weapon; sure, there was adequate justification for adding cuttlefish and tree frog DNA, but he used the exact species that would produce those results and give him a justifiable reason for adding them (he could’ve added the cuttlefish DNA for the camouflaging ability but told Masrani that he added it to help I. rex withstand accelerated growth, even though lots of other species grow up quickly). Pair that with Wu’s line about a “deal” with Hoskins, and it’s most likely that Hoskins made a deal with Wu, and Wu built a dinosaur specifically to be weaponized and just let her be displayed as an attraction for the time being.

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Buckle Up, It’s Merchandise Time

It was never directly addressed in the movie and we didn’t see a lot of Henry Wu’s lower half, so I’m not sure if he actually has one foot or not. Maybe he just wears a really good prosthetic.

Other than the fact that Claire and Owen will be awkwardly paired together in the movie and turn out to like each other in the end despite their differences (like two of your friends on a blind date that you set them up on both telling you that the other is a very nice person through a forcibly polite smile, or two Barbie and Ken dolls’ faces being shoved together) Books and Eggs

Some may disagree with me, but I think I was wrong about this, and for that I am truly grateful. Do Claire and Owen have a ship name yet? Is it called “Gradearing” now or is someone gonna come up with something more clever?

I’m really conflicted here. Is he a good person that just sort of acts creepy in this scene? Jurassic World Clip Analysis

Thankfully, I was right about this, and the clip did make a lot of sense in context. With the rest of the movie in mind, it didn’t seem nearly as creepy or uncomfortable—just showing another side of Owen’s character that we didn’t really get to see for the rest of the film. I’m glad the production team didn’t cut this because of everyone’s complaining at the time it came out, because it helps develop Owen and sets up the romance arc in a fairly nice way.

So the two people in this movie that for all intents and purposes will fall in love by the end… have already dated and found that they’re incompatible? I mean, it was only one date, but did they really spend a couple of hours together once and decide that they can’t stand each other?

I probably should have mentioned this by now, but in Jurassic World Builder, it’s revealed somehow that Hoskins sabotaged their relationship. (Also that Owen spent time in military prison once, a reason for which is not provided.) I can’t source that because I’m going off the word of a JPLegacy member in a thread that’s probably gone now, but if you have JWB on your phone, you’ll see what I’m talking about.

I’m calling it now, by the way– at the end of the movie, they’ll have lots of fun on their “second date” and Claire will laugh giddily as she does something only slightly spontaneous. Perhaps Owen will make a Pratt face and say, “Well, um, that’s a start.” I’m serious. I will put actual money on this happening.

Not only am I glad that that didn’t happen—the resolution they got was both sweet and open-ended (which, since Alan and Ellie’s ended that way in the first movie too, probably means that Claire will be off somewhere having 2 kids with some other guy in the next movie, but I digress)—but it looks like I’ve lost some money.

I’d like to make another bet: she’ll have the best and most quoted one-liners in the movie.

Sadly, even though Claire gets the title for doing the coolest and most memorable stuff in the movie, Gray was the one who probably said the things everyone will remember.

The guy in the Alan Grant hat looks like Hammond but will probably end up being another paleontologist expy (like Richard Burke to the real-life Robert Bakker); I feel like they’ll make a few scientific community in-jokes with him. Random News: Entertainment Weekly Edition

The guy I was referring to here was a veterinarian guy from Jurassic World Builder, and I don’t think we saw him in the movie at all. I guess we’re past the stage where Jack Horner needs to knock on his scientific opponents in the JP movies and/ or include characters that are obvious expies of himself, and instead we’re in an era where having him appear in the movies himself is the only way to sate the monstrous appetite of Horner’s ego.

Maybe they’re engineering some next-generation, “better” raptors for easier training like Wu mentioned in the first book? This is really strange and I’ll be looking further into it for sure. Posters, Sorta Trailer & Lego Screenshots

This was referring to a screenshot from Jurassic World Builder, showing Henru Wu in his secret lab, showing off a raptor with some sort of weird feather arrangement on the back of its head. Aside from the fact that I could not shut up about wild raptors these past few months, I don’t think it would be necessary for Wu to do what I described here anyway. He’s got his perfect weapon, his smaller Indominus, finished and ready to go. There wouldn’t be any need to work on raptors.

What I think they may be referring to is an unconfirmed, random rumor that some members of the Raptor Squad go rogue and start attacking people. I think they’re saying that those raptors are communicating with the I. rex and they’re in league together. The Best Jurassic World Trailer: An Analysis

Couldn’t have said it better myself, Past Raptor Dash.

that raptor [the one that jumps on the man in the back of the MVU] does look an awful lot like Charlie. I don’t know why a Raptor Squad raptor would suddenly turn on people, but I would venture to guess that coming into contact with wild dinosaurs– either the escaped I. rex or wild raptors– causes them to go crazy somehow.

I was right about the contact with an escaped I. rex and that that caused them to go crazy, and it was Charlie who jumped on that guy! Two in one!

[Masrani is] Not exactly the type of person to try to killpeople rather than let his assets be destroyed, but the sort of person who’ll sit around while he makes everyone else do the dirty work (based on how we’ve never seen him out of the control room in any trailer). He may not be evil per se, but if it’s a couple of people getting eaten over one of his expensive dinosaurs escaping, he’s just shown himself to favor the former. Indominus Rex Clip

This is true, but I was only partially right about it because this is the beginning of Masrani’s character arc, and he changes into someone a lot more sympathetic over the course of the story.

Second, predatory animals tend to learn that living things like humans can be caught and eaten– it’s typically not an innate thing. If these raptors were bred by scientists and raised in captivity– and therefore didn’t have other raptors as parent figures– then somewhere along the line they had to learn that humans are tasty and easily killed. Extended Footage Description

Well, they sure as heck were taught on a regular basis that pigs were easy to hunt and kill, and humans always stayed on the catwalks above them and were afraid to go near them, so maybe the raptors didn’t need parents who weren’t raised in captivity. They learned that humans were easy to eat by themselves, the smart little buggers.

You know, right now I think he sounds a little annoying, but when the movie comes out I’ll probably refer to Gray as “my sweet, fragile child” like I tend to do with the first two movies’ kids, so disregard my opinion. More New Photos & Ty Simpkins Interview

Yep, pretty much. That kid was so cute it just destroyed me.

Stego is the eaten sibling referenced in the Super Bowl trailer. A Jurassic World Info-Dump

Nope, not true at all. We even saw I. rex’s doomed baby sister hatching in the beginning of the movie, and it had a very distinct Indominus hand. And considering that both I. rexes were backup in case the other didn’t make it to adulthood, it wouldn’t have made sense if Stegoceratops was the sibling anyway. (Hey, the movie only said that Indominus made it past infancy, not that she made it to adulthood, and Wu said in his first scene that she wasn’t fully-grown. Does that mean that everything I. rex did was because she was an angsty, misunderstood teenager?)

Wait, so humans are playing the T. rex? And does this mean there’s more than one rex?! 

Nah. Rexy reigns supreme. And if there were wild T. rexes out on Nublar anyway, now that Rexy’s loose, I feel sorry for them.

I don’t know this for sure, but I’m imagining that he’s about to run into the raptor paddock and the raptors will excitedly run up to him and jump around and screech until he pets them, like puppies. A Bit of New Footage

Puppy raptors were not given to us in the quantities that I’d imagined. And that hurts me. It really, really hurts me.

If it’s the first case, and some members of the Squad do indeed revolt, I bet one of the first things Echo will do is attack Blue. Heck, people have guessed that Blue dies for a long time now– maybe this is how it happens (if it does happen! It’s not confirmed!). Lego’s JW Page: Backstories & Spoilers

There was, as far as we saw, no raptor infighting at all. They were a tightly-bound group of sisters who stuck together until the very end, even as their loyalties changed. But sure, it definitely wasn’t a feminist movie at all.

He’s making the same mistakes that Claire is in that he sees the dinos as just products that can be easily controlled, but I think what will put him off the edge from ‘morally dubious’ to ‘villain’ is mistreatment of the animals. If he sees the dinosaurs as just weapons and he’s generally not a friendly character, there’s a good chance that he’ll push them too far, not care when they get injured, etc., and we’ll hate him even more because the raptors he’s hurting will have names and personalities. Hoskins Revealed, Soundtrack & Brachiosaurs are Coming

Hoskins was a generally unlikeable villain and he didn’t treat the raptors nearly as kindly as Owen did. He didn’t outright abuse them, but he still saw them as nothing more than products and potential weapons, and that was what made him a villain in the end. Plus, he misgendered both Delta and Echo, and that’s a pretty rude thing to do.

I mean, it won’t be fun to watch their mother’s emotional devastation, but at least the movie doesn’t just drop their parents and run off, right? Jurassic World TV Spot 2

The movie did, in fact, just drop their parents and run off. You could even say it dumped them there and split for Paris.

Does she [Zara] live or die? Or does she die in a slightly less gory way?Random News: The Things I’ve Seen Edition

Oh boy, #Armgate again. I got a metric ton of views directed to that post from a forum where people were yelling at each other about whether or not Zara died, so I’ll clear it up just in case I get another batch. ZARA DIES.

Look at that. There’s no way that isn’t a T. rex. Those are T. rex teeth and that is a T. rex roar and that is a T. rex attacking them! 2 New Jurassic World TV Spots!

This refers to the scene where Indominus attacks Owen and Claire in the old Jeep shed. Those were not T. rex teeth. That was not a T. rex roar. That was not the T. rex attacking them.

Seeing as T. rex really only has her lunging attack to fight with and I. rex has two different fronts to attack from, it’ll be especially interesting to see how the rex fight goes down and whether or not her dextrous arms will even matter at all. TV Spot 8

Evidently Trevorrow thought the same thing I did, and that’s why Blue and Mosasaurus were in the final fight scene and fought alongside Rexy. Good on ya, Trevorrow.

Say, for all the harping on they do in this movie about “John Hammond’s dream” and “what Hammond would have wanted”, didn’t Hammond actually realize in the end that he made a mistake? Didn’t he tell Grant that he’d also decided not to endorse his park, and didn’t he explicitly say, “You were right and I was wrong” to Malcolm? New InGen Video & Awesome TV Spot Footage

Apparently I wasn’t even right about the character development in the original trilogy, because in the movie Masrani says that Hammond entrusted him with his dying vision of rebuilding the park, and even told him to spare no expense. I guess he went from capitalist to naturalist and then back to capitalist again.

Also, there’s no frog DNA involved and the animals have nearly 100% genome accuracy, but there are still no feathers?

Judging by the fact that Wu says, “if the animals’ genetic codes were pure, they would look very different” in the movie, I’m guessing this was a bit of a lie. I’d be surprised that they’d lie to the public about something like this and for seemingly no reason (or maybe because they were really invested in keeping up the idea that the public’s idea of what dinosaurs should be like, which the park catered to, was right all along) but considering how often animals broke out and they didn’t let anyone know about it, Jurassic World’s managers probably weren’t the most truthful people in the world.

Zach appears to be driving a ‘For Official Use Only’ van here. I don’t know, maybe he has to step up and be the Lex of the film? I swear, if he cracks one joke about finally getting his driver’s license…Awesome New Videos

Zach was a little bit like Lex in that he was a protective older sibling and that his ingenuity with technology saved the day (Lex with the UNIX system, Zach with the old Jeep). And he did make a drivers’ test joke. Who called it? I called it.

[…] as long as Owen isn’t standing there like, “I think I’ll go out in my TRUSTY, GERMAN-ENGINEERED MERCEDES VEHICLE to hunt that I. rex”, it shouldn’t be too much of a problem.

That didn’t happen (I mean, it probably wouldn’t anyway) but we did get a faceful of the Mercedes-Benz logo on several occasions. They just really, really felt the need to give us a front-on shot of every vehicle, just so we could see the grill and the little logo on it.

I don’t know which one this is, but if this is in the actual movie, then it might confirm my greatest dream and hope for the future. We could get a full scene of Owen raising the Raptor Squad from hatchlings and taking care of his babies from birthNew TV Spots, Clip and More of My Art

A moment of silence, please, for the fact that this never happened. Baby Indominus was a cutie pie, but ever since the first trailer came out, all that anyone’s wanted to see is Teeny Raptor Squad playing with Owen. That’s all we ever wanted, but we didn’t get it and now our souls are doomed to roam this fandom for eternity, crying out for baby raptors that will never come.

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Called Pepsisaurus, too.

And if they have the whole invisible-fence technology thing installed in both the Gyrospheres and the dinosaurs, wouldn’t some kind of warning or alarm system that they couldn’t turn off be going off above their heads by this point? More TV Spots, Holy Cow

Nope, there was no warning whatsoever (at least inside the Gyrospheres). That may have been a pretty good use of a couple thousand dollars, but those were better-spent putting plastic dinosaur heads on all the cups, I’m sure.

They’re still using the T. rex roar for Indominus. You know, we’ve already played with our Bad Boy toys and those roar, and it isn’t really a big secret what I. rex’s roar sounds like, so I’m beginning to think these scientists take notes from the Jurassic Park Lego game when it comes to their genetics strategies. Raptor Squad Clip, Among Other Things

They ended up using an original roar for I. rex in the movie. It wasn’t particularly distinctive or recognizable in the way that the T. rex roar is—if I hear Rexy’s roar in a commercial or something, I know right away it’s her, but I wouldn’t if I heard Indy’s—but at least it wasn’t a copycat.

♫♫ T. rex paddock, we’re going back to the old T. rex paddock, with the ol’ wrecked Jeeps, oh yeah ♫♫ “Lots O’ New Footage

Sadly, my song here was for naught. I said this because of a photo of old night-vision goggles and flares, but those turned out to be unused ones in the old Jeep shed, not Tim’s.

Some pterodactyls give this helicopter the business before it crashes into the aviary. I wonder if their goal was to get it there in the first place or if it was just incidental that the copter ended up there? New Jurassic World Clips & The Meme Lives

Nope, the pteranodons weren’t even attacking Masrani’s helicopter on purpose. They just kinda happened to fly up and get caught in the choppers, and they noticed after a minute that there was food in the ‘copter and casually grabbed a little snack before heading out to do some real damage.

So right now, I’m going with the assumption that he’s not shooting at the I. rexthat I. rex is not in the visitors’ center and that there will not be a re-creation of the famous VC scene from the first movie with I. rex taking Rexy’s place. I’m ignoring that possibility. Well Smack Me With a Halibut, It’s Real

There actually was a recreation of the famous original VC scene, but it took place in the original Center and it was only momentary. I mean, it was still a great insult to the Rexy loyalists out there, but it didn’t try to be more iconic or spectacular than the original. It was just a throwback.

Well, that’s pretty much the entire archive. Even though I was wrong about so many things, I really enjoyed all the anticipation that came with this movie, and it was great to look forward to it with all of you. Since this seems like an appropriate time, I’d like to make my first prediction for Jurassic Park 5. Three words: zombie Vic Hoskins.

(P. S. Lookie here. It me.)

Jurassic World Kids’ Books

Another wave of JW merchandise is beginning to hit stores, and that’s its line of children’s books. Other kids’ books have already been released– such as the InGen Dinosaur Guide and Ultimate Activity Book– but the most recent one was the junior novelization, which I’ll get to in a minute. I don’t know how long ago the other two that I’ll be showing you were released, but I hadn’t seen them at all until I went to Barnes & Noble today. (And what kind of impression did people get from an adult woman taking pictures of, and giggling over, a bunch of kids’ books in the middle of a Barnes & Noble? The things I do for this blog.) The first is Danger: Dinosaurs! and it’s your typical easy-reader, filled with some of the most basic dinosaur facts known to man or child.

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Seriously, it’s stuff like “Triceratops had three horns!” The cover says it’s step 3, but I knew everything in it when I was 5. Anyway, I’m reviewing for a different audience than the book’s intended one here, so I won’t go on about it. My favorite part of it is the final page which, if you’ve seen JW, pretty much speaks for itself:

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Next is The Park Is Open, which is on a bit more of an advanced level:

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I know it’s a kids’ sticker book, but if you happen to see this in a store near you, I would actually recommend buying it. It’s not a narrative, opting instead to present itself as sort of a guidebook for the park. It’s got maps of the island, information about rides and tours, and lots of full-color art from the website. It also comes with a bunch of awesome little stickers (which could be nice for a laptop if you feel the need to do something mature with them; personally I’d put ’em on my forehead) and ‘visitor passes’ for the park. Finally, it’s ‘narrated’ by Mr. DNA, and we could all use a little more Mr. DNA in our lives.

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You just read this page in his voice.

So overall, it’s a pretty nice little collector’s item and worth the 5 bucks. Finally, there’s the official movie novelization.

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Before I get to the text, I should point out that it includes what I think is an exclusive photo:

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So there’s the inside of the aviary. I would’ve liked to see this in the movie, even for a second; the set decoration with the waterfalls is pretty cool, and the dome of glass between visitors and huge, dangerous creatures gives it a cool Shark Encounter vibe. As for the text, I don’t know what it is, but it seems a little… underwhelmed. It describes the movie pretty well and in a fairly age-appropriate way, don’t get me wrong, but something about the writing style just didn’t seem so exciting. It was a lot of, “CRASH! The huge dinosaur stomped into the room and roared” but it didn’t engage the reader so to why that might be scary or exciting, you know? There just wasn’t any attempt at suspense or wonder. For instance, here’s the final scene:

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And how dare they call our one true dinosaur queen a ‘king’.

Maybe it’s because the writing needed to be simplistic, or it’s just me. But I felt like, if I were a kid and I read this before seeing the movie, I’d think “Oh, it’s another dinosaur monster movie, big whoop.” Something about it just wasn’t so engaging.

It also made some interesting choices in what it added and left out. For instance, it uses the phrase “oh God” just as often as the movie does, which one could argue that a lot of religious parents could take issue with:

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Yet it somehow feels the need to downplay Owen and Claire’s relationship status as much as possible, as if that could somehow be inappropriate for kids. Gray doesn’t make his “your boyfriend” comment, the couple’s past is only referred to as “some history” so their romantic involvement is pretty much ambiguous until they kiss, which makes it seem a little out of left field, and their “first date” conversation is cut entirely out of the bungalow scene:

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Plus, their kiss is mentioned as hurriedly as possible:

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The book totally leaves out Lowery’s kiss attempt:

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And the shirt-rolling thing is gone (although I guess it would be a bit tough to word that in a way that made sense to ten-year-olds):

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But it does make up for it in unexpected ways that, I’ll be honest, made me squee. People who ship Claire/Owen actually might want to buy this, at least more than people who don’t. For instance, this wasn’t in the movie:

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Wow, that picture looks like a JP version of one of those artistic book shots– you know, the ones that just show a single romantic line from Harry Potter through a sepia filter. There’s this, which I’m actually kind of glad didn’t show up in the movie (gotta keep up that feminist cred) but is absolutely adorable nonetheless:

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This is the number one reason why I’d recommend any fan to buy this book (and I’m posting the entire section here, but a paper copy might still be worth it for posterity): it includes a full description of the poop scene that never was, and it’s everything that I ever wanted from it. Claire has an “I underestimated you” moment that furthered their romantic development, Owen starts out smearing the poop on her but she takes the initiative and overcomes a personal obstacle, and Owen says that Claire smells like rosebuds and sunshine. I can’t take this, my heart can’t handle that. He thinks she smells like rosebuds and sunshine. Someone put that in a fanfic ASAP.

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Also, there’s a bit of a deleted scene where Claire and Owen talk over Blue before they release the raptors. If you ship Claire/ Owen, it’s a sweet little exchange. If you ship Owen/ Blue (and people do; Archive of Our Own is full of examples), it’s a cute moment as well.

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The novel does the same thing with Gray and Zach’s relationship– it cuts corners in odd places and makes up for it in deleted scenes. The monorail scene where they talk about their parents’ divorce is cut way down:

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But we get a couple of funny deleted scenes as well. Like this one, which is a different and funnier take on the Gyrosphere line scene:

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Speaking of the Gyrosphere scene, I’m guessing this was written based on a version of the movie from a couple of months until release, because Jimmy Fallon isn’t in the instructional ride video. In fact, the narrator sounds more like Robert Muldoon than anyone else:

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He was a very funny man.

This scene, where the boys are walking through the woods to the old Visitors’ Center, is extended; Gray discusses eating caterpillars to survive (it also leaves in his “root beer in the toilet” line, which I think is one of his best):

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By the way, some people in the fan community have been wondering what was up with the abandoned vehicle near the old Center. The book doesn’t tell us how it got there, but it does provide a few new and gory details:

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Zach gets a couple more funny one-liners, which personally would have made me like him more from the get-go:

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Masrani also gets a few more character insights. This is because of the format– you could never hear his exact thoughts in a movie– but it gives some valuable information. Such as this tidbit:

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Great of you to share, Simon.

He may be sympathetic to his workers, he may just really enjoy courting danger, he may think a bit highly of himself, or any combination:

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Either way, it’s made pretty clear that the ACU attack scene is a major turning point for his character and that he has to rethink everything when it happens, when in the movie it wasn’t so clear:

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Speaking of the ACUs, Hamada gets some background! He’s a former SWAT team leader.

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And I didn’t notice this before, but the movie made the most morbid reference to the first film that I could possibly ever imagine. Two drops of blood fall on Hamada’s hand, but they go in opposite directions– just like Malcolm’s water-drop demonstration of chaos theory.

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…was Indominus hitting on him?

Once again, I was wrong about the order of events and how they concerned the raptors, but at least now the death order has been sorted out by canon and people can stop freaking arguing about it. Delta did not kill Hoskins. She was actually the first to die:

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Charlie killed the solider in the back of the van:

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And she attacked with Echo, not Blue:

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None of the raptors are thrown on grills (again, probably an earlier version of the movie) but Charlie appears to be the one who was killed by being thrown:

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Which leaves Echo as the one who got toasted, though in this version she dies– well, I actually don’t know if it’s worse this way or not:

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Echo is the one who kills Hoskins, though, so she does get her moment in the spotlight.

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Owen has a moment with Blue in front of the Innovation Center right before Indominus shows up, and it’s probably one of their sweetest moments. I wish it had made it into the final cut, because a baby raptor mention is a baby raptor mention, no matter how small:

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The world can never have too much Raptor Daddy. Ever.

And it’s confirmed that the raptors have been taught to hunt pigs on the regular, thereby allowing them to sharpen their killer instincts and keep their murdering form in top shape. Nice job, Owen:

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Wu makes a bunch of really weird stuff in his lab, including actual Wizard of Oz flying monkeys. I kid you not one bit:

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Plus, Stegoceratops shoutout! And possible confirmation that there are indeed Stegoceratops embryos being smuggled out (as well as that Owen doesn’t need to feel bad about dating a dinosaur, because apparently ‘Ceratops isn’t a real dinosaur):

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Lowery gets a bit more time in the limelight. We were deprived of additional Lowery, everyone. Riot time? I think it’s riot time.

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And a few random tidbits were thrown in. I. rex did indeed unhinge her jaws during the movie, specifically when she bit down on the Gyrosphere:

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Owen’s “We do it my way” line wasn’t in the final film, but it was here:

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They dropped a perfectly funny line, but to be fair it probably would have cut down some important tension:

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The destruction of the Spino skeleton is tragically downplayed, and this momentous event has not been recorded in print for future generations, forcing us to pass on the word of Rexy’s ***-kicking to our children’s children in our own ways:

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And finally, in a shocking and plot-changing twist, Claire takes off her heels.

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That’s it for the book. I didn’t show you all of the good parts, so you’ll have to buy it and read it yourself to get the full experience, but as you can see it has its ups and downs. There are reasons to buy it and reasons not to, but overall, I think it’s a good investment. You could get it for a younger relative and read it first, at least. Or just walk into Books-A-Million like a boss and buy it for yourself, because someone has to preserve the poop scene. As a generation, we have been shouldered with the responsibility of keeping record of Claire’s poop-smearing, and it’s something that we all must join together and pass on to those who were not alive in this glorious time.

On a final note, if you’re cool and have the same fandoms as me, I hope you’ll appreciate this. Satsuki Kiryuin has her own Raptor Squad. Bam.

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Jurassic World Arcade Game Trailer

EDIT: Apparently this trailer is for two separate Jurassic Park arcade games. I assume one is a trip to Nublar and the other is to Sorna. That does explain a lot.

That’s right, a doozy of a 2-minute trailer has been released for the Jurassic Park arcade game! It involves a trip back to Islas Sorna and Nublar, which goes about as well as you’d expect. Here’s the trailer:

Heli

The same helipad and waterfall from the first movie, and what looks like the same model of helicopter sued by Roland’s team in the second movie! Engage nostalgia, this is not a drill.

Do you want to see red, vibrantly-colored, vaguely macaw-like raptors on Sorna? Well too bad, sucker, because they’re here and they are pissed:

Raptors

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Not sorry.

This game is pretty much in a canon of its own already, but I can actually see a reason for this sudden color change. The raptors in JP3 had already started to develop blue and red on their skin:

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Maybe what we’re seeing here is just a continuation of those changes. Possibly it’s for display and intimidation purposes, which raptors definitely would need in the wild. Their drab coloration might just not have worked for them, and it’s not too hard to see why. This is either a gimmick or it raises a lot of interesting questions– were there underlying genes for bright colors and feathers in the raptors’ DNA all along, and was it really recessive and dormant until they started to breed freely? What kinds of sexual dimorphism goes on with the color patterns? What kind of environment would make them need to take rainbow baths? I’m intrigued.

Archaeopteryx

Archaeopteryx is in the game too, and it would be much more hilarious to watch them disappear in puffs of feathers when you shot them if they didn’t appear to be frantically flying away from you in this shot. Why is the player still shooting at animals that have no intent to attack them? For an arcade shooter game, this is raising some uncomfortable moral questions.

Frreze

You can freeze velociraptors solid with a freeze-ray and then explode them. That sentence was as amazing to type as it was to read.

Chaos

Boy, when is it ever not?

Explode

If I didn’t adequately drop the hint before, there are kind of a lot of explosions in this game.

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If you’ll ignore for a moment how metal this picture is, two things are apparent– the pterodactyls got their inaccurate teeth back (ugh) and they got the Rainbow Brite treatment too. For the mostly gray pteranodons we saw in JP3, this is a little less plausible, but maybe all the predators on the island had some kind of disadvantage with gray and brown coloration and had to amend it immediately. I can’t imagine why, especially since they’d be a heck of a lot more visible to prey looking like that, but this is a video game about shooting genetically engineered super-lizards in the face. Whatever. Pterandon has become fabulous, I’ll learn to live with it.

Poof

This is my best attempt to capture the exact moment that an Archaeopteryx explodes. Poof!

Spiders

GAAAH! What is that?! Are they Japanese spider crabs? Actual gigantic spiders? I think I found something I’m actually scared of on this island full of giant, bloodthirsty theme park monsters. Geez, I thought this was Isla Sorna, not Australia.

Motorcycle

This is my favorite part of the trailer because it’s something I’ve wanted to see for a long, long time. If you’ve read the Lost World novel, you’ll remember the part where Sarah and Kelly shoot a bunch of raptors while weaving in and out of a herd of apatosaurs and riding a motorcycle. It was the best part of the book, in my opinion, and I really wish it had been included in the movie, because how awesome would that have been? And now, finally, we get to see it. And it looks just as incredible as I’d pictured. (I’m not crying, you’re crying, shut up.) Note the array of rainbow colors on the raptors. I’m thinking the more colorful ones are the males.

Hardcorre

We have entered hardcore mode.

Trike

Spelling dinosaur names is hard, you guys. Also, I love the red stripes and the absolutely demented look on its face. Triceratops is done messing around. He’s here and he wants blood.

Spino

At first I wasn’t too thrilled about Spino being in the game, but then I realized she looks like a demon and might actually be scary in this setting, so I’ll let it slide.

Jump

This is an actual, real thing that happens. A guy in an ATV does a huge jump, a T. rex leaps into the air after him and both rexes’ eyes glow red. This is incredible. I’m not going to complain about accuracy because clearly the only intent here was to be gleefully, truck-smashingly, Micheal Bay-brand insane. For that reason, wow. They’ve out-Jurassic Park 3ed themselves. I really want to pat someone on the back for this.

Smash

Everybody’s gotta beat up on T. rex. What did she ever do to anyone?

Plane

Spinosaurus smashes one of the planes, possibly from JP3. I don’t have a joke, I just thought it was cool.

Diving

You can go parasailing over Isla Sorna, because it ended just great the last time someone tried to do that.

Spidersback

AAAAAAGH THEY’RE BACK THEY’RE BACK GET THEM OFF ME GET THEM OFFFFFFF!

Mistake

Here we see the quintessential facial expression of someone who’s made the worst mistake possible, ever.

Jaws

Oh man, are those metal gauntlets on her claws? I need this game. Give me this game and this T. rex. I’m ready to go.

Logo

And that’s the end of it! It may have a tenuous story and take a few liberties with its dinosaur designs, but I love everything else about this game. It’s shaping up to be fantastic. I’ll definitely play it, provided I can make it past the first level. Usually I can’t, but for the Park, I will try.

In other news, we got a glimpse at the Funko Pop figures for Claire and Owen:

B-0zyOOWsAA99d1

D’aww. I just wanna squeeze ’em.

More on Security & Brawlasaurs

To follow yesterday’s new video, there’s an information section on the Masrani website about InGen’s security division.

Security

Oooh! Oooh! I know that railing! I know that railing! At least I think I do. Looks like a raptor pen to me!

“There is a reason why we have the safest theme park in the world. We’ve hired the best field professionals in every discipline to ensure Jurassic World’s success — that includes security.” – Simon Masrani

Mmmm hmmm. Tell me more about how the park’s security measures are guaranteed to work. Really. I’d love to read the warranty on those I. rex-proof fences.

From innovations in drone technology to the introduction of cold-signature mapping in satellite surveillance

Drone

Again with the drone thing. I’m sticking by my idea that drones will be used to contain or at least chase pteranondons at some point during the movie.  I mean, pfft, as if it would actually work, but maybe they’ll take a stab at it.

Headed by Mr. Vic Hoskins, InGen Security has evolved from a once small, private service into a vibrant multi-national security organization of the highest caliber. Vehicle modifications and military training are just some of the operations at the very core of the company’s expertise.

I’m assuming that InGen security before this consisted of personal bodyguards for the stegos, and no one can stop me.

With the number of reported Central American poaching vessels increasing in the Meurtes Archipelago over the last year, InGen’s security division, headed by Vic Hoskins, has been busy ramping up operations in the Gulf of Fernandez.

Here we go! You know, it doesn’t surprise me in the least that people are poaching from Sorna. I mean, it’s possibly the stupidest thing you could do in this universe, but I imagine stuffed raptors are pretty hot products.

Poachers have been known to risk their own lives working in the service of ruthless collectors. It has also been reported that some individuals have been responsible for mishandling captured specimens, with disturbing hospitalization cases on the Costa Rican mainland.

What, do they think they can just steal a freaking triceratops and not get a scratch or two? I like this bit for several reasons, but the main one is that the hospitalization thing opens the door for the first scene in the first novel to be included in this movie. If you haven’t read the book, it begins with a doctor in Costa Rica treating a guy who’s been mauled by a raptor. I know it doesn’t sound too exciting, but the more leftover novel material in this movie, the happier I’ll be.

There have been rumors circulating for a while that this movie would make The Lost World and JP3 non-canon, but this site dispels them. Gimme some of that sweet, sweet continuity:

A seasoned security contractor, Vic Hoskins was involved in overseeing the infamous flying reptile “cleanup” operation over Canada in 2001. Due to the professionalism his team displayed, he was hired personally by Simon Masrani to re-develop InGen’s Security Division, which helped oversee the protection of workers on Isla Nublar during Jurassic World’s construction.

I had kinda hoped that pterandon landings on the mainland would have become a common occurrence by now and that they’d be slowly integrating into coastal ecosystems, but this works too, and I guess it’ll make the pteranodon attack on the island much more exciting. And by “cleanup” I assume they mean “deadly anti-aircraft missles” which I suppose is a good thing for the residents of Unlucky, Canada. Can you imagine a pteranodon flock landing in Canada? And you thought ice hockey was violent.

Unpredictability is the only circumstance that is certain in any dangerous conflict or combat situation

OH, SO NOW THEY…

…we have been able to focus on the protection of civilians, human rights, and environmental sustainability in the numerous-affected regions we have been involved in.”

So they want to protect humans, huh? I know one way they can do that. Say, not opening a murder-beast zoo.

That’s it for the Masrani site. Now I’d like to show you some more toys. There’s been a trend recently in basically every toy brand to make toys that go with a video game– you know, like Skylanders. Augmented-reality toys are getting bigger, which means our friends the dinosaurs will soon join the virtual gaming world. Say hello to the Brawlasaurs:

Brawlasaurs_rapvsallo

I’m guessing a good bit of the licensed species won’t actually be in the movie, but it’s still nice to see more Allosaur toys. Allosaur would win in this fight, by the way.

Brawlasaur_rexvstrike

Did I mention that these toys are hideous? Because they still look like dollar-store knockoffs. I imagine they’ll look better in the game they’re for. These two-packs are about $10 each, and the rest are $6.

Brawlasaurs_cory

Yay for Corythosaurus! Even if it has fangs and an entirely non-herbivorous thirst for blood in its eyes. It’s okay, Cory! You are who you are!

Brawlasaur_Spinoraptor

Again, probably not in the movie. That doesn’t make it any less… pitiful comes to mind.

Brawlasaur_stego

Nothing to see here, folks. Just a stego with ankylosaurid spikes instead of plates. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Brawlasaur_carnoraptor
“Kill… me…”

And finally we have the Carnoraptor, which looks part raptor, part carnotaur and part spinosaur. It looks like a sloppy mishmash of dinosaurs, and it probably isn’t in the movie and therefore isn’t anything to worry about, but eww. Look at it. Who thought this was a good idea? The I. rex looks like a seamless blend, but this just looks like LEGO genetics. If you’ll let me state the obvious, this whole dinosaur-hybrid thing may have gone too far.

Here’s part of their description:

Brawlasaurs are particularly exciting because of the multiple ways to play, whether physically by winding up their tails and setting them to battle in the arena, or by scanning the codes on their legs and battling them digitally in the new Ludia Jurassic World game. Visit the official website of the game at ludia.com/jurassicworld!

The premise is simple – following the premise of Rock, Paper, Scissors the toys have Slash, Bash and Bite attacks. Choose your attack in secrecy from your opponent, send them into battle and see who wins!

Image

So the game doesn’t look so bad. I can live with this. Rock-paper-scissors might not be the most fun game on the planet, but everything’s better with dinosaurs, and I’m sure there will be at least one different game using these toys. It’s too popular a premise to only license one game with them.

So I don’t like the look of these toys, but I’ll really enjoy playing the game that goes with them and having actual toy dinosaurs to go with my virtual ones. They might be ugly abominations, but they’re our ugly abominations. So stay tuned for the latest news in ugly abominations. Thank you for reading The Jurassic Adventures of Ugly Abomination Dash.

Source: http://www.jurassicworld.org/?id=243

Keeping Up With the Raptors

There comes a time in every person’s life when they must sit down and have an honest conversation with themselves about their expectations regarding Jurassic Park’s raptors. The inevitable conclusion is usually that they will never be accurate dinosaurs and will always be featherless scale-beasts with innacurate behavior. This is usually followed by the five stages of grief. However, that blow has been softened for a few people lately. First we got in-universe justification for their featherlessness, and now we have a possible explanation for the fact that they’re trained. From the first novel, a quote:

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If you remember that Wu’s in the fourth movie, there you go. They might have bred raptors to be more docile in order to fit visitors’ expectations. Is this the word of the directors or confirmed in any way? No. Are fans in general thrilled with this concept? Heck no. But is it possible and does it come from Crichton’s source material? Definitely. Of course, raptors are still amazing killing machines. They’re the dangerous monsters they were in the first film; they just hunt alongside Star Lord now. (Trevorrow and Pratt have both said that Owen and the raptors have a tense and complicated relationship, not a pet/owner one.) So even though it might not be the best thing in the world that raptors are trained, and people are still getting upset about it, now we have a reason for why it is. They might have been bred that way. It just might be in their genes. Now we can get on with our lives.

Speaking of Owen and raptors, this is hilarious:

“I reaaaaaalllly want to eat his face!” “Well, I am popular now…”

Stan Winston Studios, the studio that made all the dinosaur effects for all three movies, released this gorgeous thing:

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From Luigi Parentella from Jurassic World Italia:

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From Tumblr’s alienfirst:

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*steadies breathing* Okay, now that I’ve got a hold of myself after that last picture (LOOK AT THAT ONE SLEEPING AROUND HIS NECK! AWWWWWW) The Masrani site has added a couple of little things.

Ingen

Jurassic World is introducing the most dangerous dinosaur to ever live and they need extra security measures– gee, who woulda thought? I wonder about that drone thing. I would imagine they’d have little drones flying around and taking security checks on the dinosaurs and stuff, but I wonder if there’ll be drones in the movie? Because besides guns, I can’t think of a better way of tracking down and subduing an escaped pterodactyl. Assuming it was a strong enough drone, of course, at least more resilient than a flailing person.

30j17qo.jpg
What, too soon?

Masrani

In case you wanted to see another shot of Masrani’s face. More Fortune 500 CEOs should regularly wear purple.

Newssss

I know this isn’t new, but it does answer a question of mine. It’s now confirmed that a 100% capacity and increasing attendance aren’t enough for these people. If they get as many visitors as they want, I bet the island will sink.

Here we have a post from Masrani’s blog (which is almost as good as mine) announcing the creation of the I. rex. Now do something for me: make sure the room you’re in is totally quiet, turn your speakers all the way up, click on that last picture and listen very closely. Do that for a couple of minutes. I’ll wait.

If you did it right, you should have heard faint screams of “GIVE US YOUR MONEY, GIVE US YOUR MONEY” and “YOU DROVE US TO THIS, YOU DROVE US TO THIS” echoing from your monitor. Those are supposedly from InGen’s scientists and the Masrani company, but they were really recorded in a corporate office at Universal by actual Jurassic World marketers! Isn’t it amazing what they’re doing on those sites?

That’s it for now. Assuming no new Jurassic World news rolls in, I’m doing another author interview soon and I can’t wait!

Super Bowl Trailer

Well, that was some trailer last night, huh? It was twice as long and about twenty times better than I expected it to be. Let’s dive into it, shall we? I’m writing this with the assumption in mind that you’ve seen the trailer already, but it’s in the post right below this if you haven’t. Oh, and I got screencaps! Pardon the YouTube stuff, I was taking them in the middle of the most exciting part of the game.

First is a bunch of footage that we’ve seen before, with the notable addition of the mosasaur-is-shy part. She isn’t shy, for the record, she’s just in a food coma from the last tourist kebab she had. Then there’s:

Stegos

I don’t have a gif of this, but I wish I did because this part is adorable. I just love these stegos galloping along on their stubby little legs. Silly stegosaurs, you can’t run that fast, you’re too chubby! Heehee! Oh, and they’re running from the I. rex, and everyone in this shot is either gonna die or get ripped up.

I don’t have a way to watch the trailer and I don’t have it memorized quite yet, so these might not be in order. Over Claire saying, “We have a new attraction. Think it’ll scare the kids?” we see a shot of what I assume is the I. rex paddock:

Paddock

Oh man, are they having a load-in scene like the very beginning of the first movie? I am more than okay with that, as long as it’s not a shot-for-shot remake. Then we get a glimpse of the I. rex, who’s camouflaging:

IRexHatesYou

Man, she looks contemptuous, and I guess her camouflaging looks better to the movie characters than to us, because she isn’t doing that fantastic a job of blending in with those leaves. Speaking of which, this is probably a good time to mention that the special effects are probably not finished. You probably knew that already, but the effects still aren’t Jurassic Park-caliber and people are probably starting to complain right about now. It’ll look better in four months, I can tell you that for sure.

Anyway, look at her face. That’s a really clear expression, I wonder if she has a wide range of facial expressions– and if that could come from human DNA.

And now we see Owen stopping that raptor attack like we saw in the leaked trailer so long ago:

Pratt1

RaptorTime

Is it just me, or are those raptors’ colors almost identical? There’s a notable blue stripe down the one in the middle– I’m guessing that’s Blue– but otherwise they look exactly alike. I think there are two possibilities for why that could be: the colors and features that distinguish them just haven’t been added in yet, or the color differences on the toys were really, really exaggerated. On the toys you can really tell the members of the Raptor Squad apart, but that may have just been a marketing decision so people buy all four toys. Seriously, though, is it really going to matter which raptor does what in the movie? It might not be a big deal.

Next is Owen hiding under a truck or something while I. rex hunts him. Note the Lost World nod:

DatRoar

Ooooooh, look at the blood on her teeth! She just killed! You go, I. rex! Though, for such an advanced dinosaur, you’d think she’d have a good enough sense of smell to tell when there’s a Pratt two feet from her nose. I should also point out that even her somewhat subdued roar sounds great.

Next we see a sick and/or injured apatosaur lying in a field, presumably after the gyrosphere attack. In a voice-over Owen says, “She’s killing for sport.”

SickStego

Here’s another novel throwback, at least a partial one. In the first book, if you’ll recall, there was a sick stego instead of a sick trike, and the various doctors tended to it and saw what was making it sick. This guy was probably attacked by the I. rex and it’s an apatosaur, but it still might be a reference. Maybe they’ll throw in a line about “the poor guy’s breathing like a man on the top of Mount Everest” or something. I dunno. Also, PRACTICAL EFFECTS! WE HAVE A PRACTICAL APATOSAUR! And it looks amazing! See how detailed the skin is?!

Claire jumps when the guy raises his head:

ClaireSoPretty

Again, it’s cool if she’d rather be indoors, but I hope it’s not a big plot point that she’s prissy. Also, she is so pretty. How did I not notice that before?

And here’s the extended chase scene we were promised:

IRex

For some reason, I don’t think this is a big, huge moment. I think this will be before even the gyrosphere attack, and maybe it’ll serve to make Owen distrust the I. rex and set up how dangerous she is. I think this is just a minute-long action sequence and not anything really climactic. That said, it’s freakin’ awesome. I tried to screencap the exact moment I. rex snatches up the guy in the blue suit, and here’s the best I could do:

RunPrattRun

LOOK AT THAT! She just grabbed him up like a TWINKIE! I mean, poor guy, but WOW! I’m starting to like this I. rex more and more. Also, she had gigantic hands. I’m guessing she got that from her raptor DNA.

Here’s a shot of Owen shooting at something, probably the I. rex, while saying “We’re going after it with everything we’ve got,”:

PrattShooting

Please don’t tell me guns need to be involved here. These people have the most deadly dinosaurs to ever exist in the palms of their hands and trained as weapons, they don’t need to go all Rambo. Also, are those soldiers in the background? What did we learn from JP3, people?

After this, we see more Raptor Squad footage. There’s no new Raptor Squad shots, just Owen doing a wicked motorcycle jump in the jungle. Anyway, now we know that the Raptor Squad (man, I love typing that) is going after I. rex.

Next, see if you can spot the subtle nod to the first movie:

Throwback

You know, I think that shot was even taken right from the first film. I like that we’re getting references to the previous films, but seriously, this is a whole new movie here. We don’t want to see Jurassic Park over again, we want to see Jurassic World. On the bright side, though, the nods we’ve gotten so far– this shot, the Gray-in-the-tent scene, Claire screaming “Run!”– have been pretty minute and might not be as prominent in the movie as they are in the trailer. I sure hope so.

All right, now we know why Owen has that gun, or at least we have an idea of why. Check this out:

ShootingIRex

I don’t know why, but I really, really like the way I. rex is walking here. It’s sort of like “lumbering with purpose”. She’s going to #&*^ some stuff up, and she’s completely determined to do so, but she’s taking her sweet time because I. rex does as I. rex pleases. Note that the bullets seem to have no effect on her– supporting my bulletproof hypothesis– and that she appears to be in the wild Nublar jungle. I guess she was bound to end up there at some point.

Once they’re in the jungle, she attacks!

Lunge

Whoa! That’s such a cool shot! That guy is so dead and I. rex isn’t screwing around, that’s for sure. Look at that lunge! The effects might be unfinished, but you can’t deny it, that’s a powerful image. But this isn’t the coolest shot in the trailer– that’s still coming up. (Still no forked tongue. I cry.)

And here come the pterodactyls!

Pterodactlys

Owen says something like, “You’ve got 20,00 people here without any way to get out.” Again, 20,000 people and they say the park is losing visitors? What was their original goal?

This is another part that you really need to see in action to get the full impact of. All these escaped pterodactyls and dimorphodons swoop down on the park visitors like Furies:

Attacking

It’s basically The Birds with flying reptiles. It’s pretty awesome, and the effects look good. Gray and Zack look worried, and rightfully so:

Fear

And then, there is is. The best shot in the entire trailer. I can guarantee you that most of the people who watched this gasped out loud, because I know I did:

OHYEAHHHHH

WHOOOOO! That’s AMAZING! Look at how it grabbed her! There’s gonna be on-screen deaths in this, we can say that for sure now. This ain’t a kiddie movie. It just swooped in and snatched her! WHOOOO!

The logo shows and the theme plays, and then we’re with the boys in the gyrosphere again. Poor little Gray, seeing the mighty I. rex right behind him, says “We’re safer in here… right?”

NoYoureNotSafe

BOOM!

LastAttack
“NO! NO ONE IS SAFE!’

AIEEEEE!

Screamin

And that’s the end!

For one, I think that was a great trailer. It was well-paced, it was exciting and it was just so cool! I feel like it had the same mood as the other movies– part dark, part action-y, part heartwarming. I really loved it, even though the effects don’t look quite perfect. The chase scenes and attacks were suspenseful, especially the one at the end. Speaking of which:

LastAttack

She’s got a sickle claw! I. rex actually does have a sickle claw! That makes me so, so happy.

So basically, I love the way I. rex acts, moves and generally looks. The movie’s doing a good job on her so far. Actually, they might be making her too cool, because I’m already cheering for her. They’re kind of making their audience too sympathetic to the villain of… oh, heck, why fight it.

GO I. REX!

Edit: This site (http://www.slashfilm.com/jurassic-world-effects/) shows how the shots we’ve already seen have been updated with better CGI. Go take a look, it’s like healing balm for your nerd soul.

Assorted Ideas

Since no new Jurassic World new came out today, I thought I’d share a couple of odds and ends that couldn’t quite fill their own posts.

First, I found it odd that this shows up when you google ‘Jurassic World’:

Crichton

It’s very possible that since Michael Crichton came up with the original Jurassic Park story, he gets the story and part of the screenwriting credit. But you’ve gotta wonder—just how much of the movie is made up of deleted novel scenes and ideas that the novel’s author wrote the majority of the story? So far, the stuff in Jurassic World that we know is from the novel is short but significant:

  • Camouflaging, carnivorous dinosaurs
  • A jungle river ride
  • A scene where two kids fall down a waterfall, probably in a raft
  • A scene where two kids are chased/ attacked by a predator in or very close to an isolated jungle river

Could there be more? Or is the story just credited to Crichton because he’s the first on the list of screenplay contributors (and he should be; he built the franchise and they’re still using his ideas, after all)? Either way, I found that intriguing.

Next, I was reading JPL’s encyclopedia (which is incredible and exhaustive; there’s an entire entry about the dish that Baselton was eating during his meeting with Dodgson in the novel. These people don’t mess around) when I found this entry: http://www.jplegacy.org/jpencyclopedia/?page_id=36

The part about the rides caught my eye. Here’s what the section on the rides says:

This universe is a bridge to our own universe to make the rides and events in the JP series to seem more realistic. We can count part of it that references the films for the movie canon and yet we can’t count the rest when it comes down to the rider experience. The rides do indeed serve as a spin-off of the movie series and anything in reference to the films is taken from here with some weight.
Information pertaining to the movies may be withdrawn here somewhat safely without much worry of contradiction with the films unless there is some unaccounted for elements yet to be discovered.

Spielberg was involved with the rides, but when it comes down to the rider experience, animals created specifically for the Orlando or Hollywood attractions, or the overall story for the ride’s creation it cannot be counted as canon events for the films, as no movie has acknowledged a park in Orlando or Hollywood. If there was something here that would contradict anything in the movies then the rides would be off the list entirely of safe sources for the films. Also, worthy of a note is that both rides contradict each other when it comes to rider experience itself as key moments within the ride are different at the Orlando or Hollywood theme parks.

This does make sense, but I had a little idea and I’d like to propose a different hypothesis. Speaking as someone who’s been on both rides many, many times and who bends and twists stories to fit into JP movie canon on a regular and consistent basis, I think the rides fit right into movie canon if you look at them the right way. I’ve been on the Hollywood ride more recently, so I’ll use that as an example; it fits into canon better anyway, and it might be the only one that actually does, because I can’t clearly remember how the ride experiences contradict each other. I’m gonna try my best to back this all up with photos, but not a lot of in-ride pictures are available, so take my word for it for the moment.

I’m starting with the assumption that as soon as the ride starts, you’re basically ‘in Jurassic Park’, on Isla Nublar. Lots of other rides ‘transport you somewhere else’ for the duration of the ride experience. When you’re on Space Mountain, the environment establishes that you’re in ‘space’, not in ‘space in Orlando’. OK? OK.

The basic idea of the ride is that you’re visiting the jungle river ride in Jurassic Park. You go past some herbivores in different areas, and then you veer off into a restricted raptor containment area. It looks like this:

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Your boat veers off its track and goes through a fence, into an industrial-looking area:

jurassic-park-the-ride

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As soon as you’re in, you see the outside of the raptor enclosure from the first movie:

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After that, you see a replica version of the car hanging off the wall from the rex attack scene:

falling-car-on-jurassic-park-ride-n4-hollywood
It even sways, as if you weren’t on edge enough already.

So we’re clearly at a point in time after Nedry’s shut down the fences, between the rex attack and the raptors’ fence breach (we know this because the fence door was open enough to let our boat in, and because there are raptors where they shouldn’t be; I’ll get to this in a minute). Judging by the fact that there are raptors all over the place and they’re not in the visitors’ center or the open jungle, this takes place between the raptors’ fence breakout and the visitors’ center attack. It’s a narrow period of time, but it’s long enough for the raptors to wreak some havoc.

So now we’re in a restricted raptor area, and there are two other species running around: dilophosaurs and compies:

spitter1

Jurassic_Park_River_Adventure_Full_Ride_(HD_POV)_Universal_Studios_Hollywood
In Orlando, these guys are fighting over a bloody shirt. Yeah.

Not sure how the other two got into the raptor area but, again, the fence is torn open and all the other fences are down, so the dinos in the park are pretty much free to move about the cabin. They could’ve reasonably made their way into this compound, especially over the course of an entire night. Before coasting past them—and being spat upon—you go up into an industrial-looking building. It has a mini control room at the entrance, and it’s generally assumed that it’s a maintenance building and not somewhere that dinosaurs are usually allowed to enter:

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But enter they do. You see a couple of velociraptors pop up from the floor, the ceiling and the walls:

raptor

And while it’s scary, it’s nothing compared to what you see when you turn a corner and look up:

universal-studios-hollywood

Rex has entered the building. You see some more raptors and dilos, and then you turn a corner and go face-to-face with the same T. rex (considering there’s only one rex in the park):

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Fun fact: this part of the ride smells really good. Maybe it’s the mist. Or the fear.

That’s where you take a 90-degree nose-dive (you get close enough to the rex that you can reach out and touch it if you’re so inclined) and the ride ends. The fact that the T. rex is there, I think, places this right in canon and even gives an explanation for the visitors’ center scene. What I think happens during the ride is this:

You’re in the river ride in Jurassic Park the day after the rex attack. The herbivores—Brachiosaurus and Stegosaurus—are still in their habitats because they’re comfortable, and their food grows, in them. The raptors have already broken out but haven’t headed into the jungle yet, and the dilophosaurs and compies have found the pen and are chilling there, looking for food because they haven’t been fed that morning. (This would explain the fight over the popcorn.) T. rex, having just woken up from her lawyer-food nap, is headed toward the visitors’ center—this might be for a purpose or she might just be ambling.

The security in the maintenance building has gone down, and a little after the raptors and dilos get into it, Rexy finds it—she’s passing through it on her way to the VC, and she found a building with no protective measures, so why not look for a snack? She pokes her head into the roof and gets nipped/scratched/bitten/whatever by territorial raptors. Annoyed, she stomps off, and that’s the second and final time we see her. She’s got us, her snack, right in her jaws—and we plunge away from her. Whether they’re responsible for not, she gets a grudge against the raptors for our escape. Later, when both raptors and Rexy get to the visitors’ center, Rexy recognizes the raptors that bothered her and/or took her nom-noms, and she decides to give them some toothy retribution.

I could be wrong, but that seems to fit nicely into the movie canon pretty nicely; it works even better if you take away the we’re-park-visitors and rex-wants-to-eat-us parts and just assume that the riders are outside entities, watching what’s going on in particularly good 3D. If anyone else has ideas about which canon this fits into and why—it does have some elements that would fit into novel canon—I would be very interested to talk to them.

Finally, please consider donating your time (or votes, depending on who reads this) to the Give Sarah Harding an Oscar Foundation: http://www.ctvnews.ca/awards/could-golden-globe-winner-julianne-moore-finally-snag-an-oscar-1.2193966

Have any of you seen Almost Alice? Does it deserve a prize? Do I care whether she deserves it as long as an actress from this fandom gets an Oscar? I watch the Oscars every year, but now I have something to root for. Plus, maybe Laura Dern will be there and gratuitously shown like she was last year, even though Wild didn’t get nominated. How cool would it have been if Ellie and Sarah both got Oscar nominations?

Jurassic World Toy Pictures! With Legos!*

*or Raptor Dash is Going So Broke

SPOILER WARNING!

The news just keeps rolling in! I finally found the “leaked” (they were technically found on an Italian toy site) Jurassic World toy pictures.

First we have Dimorphodon, which the watermark assures us is NOT FINAL. When you look at these guys, keep in mind that they’re only prototypes:

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Eh, not bad. The head sculpt could be a lot better and the joints could be smoother– basically, if this ended up looking like the one on the paper plate (currently the most famous paper plate on the Internet, and the one that’s caused the most plate-related drama in the world as of yet), then we’d all be happy. I think this looks a little clunky, but it’ll be polished up by the time it it hits stores.

Next we have a Spinosaurus!

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That looks like a really, really nice spino to me. I can see the design hasn’t been adjusted in light of recent discoveries, but that’s okay; the geneticists made it terrestrial and bipedal to begin with, and Jurassic Park dinos never adjust much to fit current discoveries much anyway. What I’m saying is that this is a pretty high-quality dinosaur and it’ll probably look even better once it’s store-ready. As you can see by that charming little bit of rib on its side, Dino Damage is coming back in some form; that or it’s just continuing in the time-honored Jurassic Park tradition of ripping parts of toy dinos’ sides off just for laughs.

Now let’s take a minute for some paper dishes!

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It’s baaaaaack.

That’s the other half of the leak that I didn’t get my hands on earlier. We’ve seen the rex pictures before, and the raptors look like they’re either really angry or really drunk and stumbling all over the place, yelling about how much they just love the jungle. Not a big deal, but they’re pictures we’ve never seen before, and that’s always a good thing.

Back to toys. Here’s a pteranodon and a helicopter:

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End of JP3, anyone? Also, why? Why does Ptero have teeth? I was so excited when I saw the paper-plate version. My hopes were raised and now they’ve been shattered on the ground. Other than that, the design is a lot like the Dimorphodon’s; clunky, but it could be better with a little elbow grease. And the helicopter isn’t bad either. It looks a lot like the one from the first movie. Someone should take one of these and customize it to look like that one.

If you’ll direct your attention to the little picture under the ptero:

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The resolution is pretty bad, but we can get a general idea of what’s going on. That blue thing is probably a gyrosphere, and you can guess who that white dinosaur is. Judging by the presence of those two, this looks like the gyrosphere attack scene that I posted about earlier today. What the helicopter and the ptero are doing there, though, I have no idea. The copter looks like it’s firing at the I. rex– I’m guessing that isn’t gonna turn out so well. The pterodactyl, though. Is it attacking the helicopter? Is it also headed for the gyrosphere? Is it attacking in conjunction with the I. rex for some weird reason? I don’t know, but this is a toy representation of what I’m guessing is an actual movie scene, so maybe we’ll get more clues soon.

Now for some raptors:

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I think you know what I’m about to say here, but I’ll say it anyway: there are obviously differences between trained raptors and raptors that live in the Isla Nublar jungle, and there’s probably at least one of each among these models. (Notice the orange one’s elongated snout.) These all look really cool. The green one’s my favorite. Really, though, I’m just glad we’re not just getting JP3 raptor repaints like the 2011 ones.

And here’s a whole bunch of Dino Growlers:

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“7 dinosaurs to choose from!” “With sounds, lights and battle wounds! Faithful reproduction!”

Even more raptors! If the raptor’s your favorite dinosaur (ha ha, just kidding, I’m everyone’s favorite dinosaur) then you’ve hit the jackpot. Or the reverse jackpot, because you’ll likely go broke if you buy every single raptor toy released this year. They seem to have moving tails and arms, which is nice but not as cool as Realistic Mauling Action (TM). Ceratosaurus looks like it’s finally getting some justice after that JP3 scene. I like every one of these toys– the raptors even look Papo-quality– except the dilophosaur. It looks like a really lazy repaint of the JP3 electronic dilo. That one toy is the only beef I have with this line. Other than that, a little polishing and everything will look great.

The toy pictures are from here: http://bloody-disgusting.com/news/3328231/jurassic-world-dinosaurs-revealed/

Now I want to show you some things I’ve seen from Google Images. I don’t know if they’ve spread around yet, but I found some Lego set pictures that all appear to be from foreign sites. At least one came from a British site called BrickFanatic and looked like it was officially released (it’s the third one below) but I don’t know where the rest are from as of yet. I’d be surprised if JPL doesn’t have them, really. The sets are mostly T. rex focused:

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EDIT: Apparently this is from 2012’s LEGO DINO line. I’m an idiot.

Here’s the rex design that we saw in that leak a few months ago, being chased and almost being captured by a wicked-looking helicopter. But who cares what’s chasing it– we’re getting another T. rex car chase scene! Woohoo!!

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As is this.

Here’s the rex’s compound, which looks to be in the middle of a good old-fashioned smashin’. There’s copters and jeeps trying to keep her in, but no one is safe from her mighty wrath. In front of the gates are two raptor-looking things, at least one of which might be a compy (see my other Lego post for more details). Are– are the raptors and the rex working together to break out and raise hell? Okay, I officially take back everything bad I’ve ever said about this movie. Everything. If this is in it, Jurassic World is gonna rock.

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Here’s a glamor shot of the second rex design, a raptor and a raptor/compy. I’m interested to know why Rexy’s changing color all of a sudden. Could there be more than one of them?

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And this.

Here’s what appears to be the same person and vehicle form the rex chase photo, this time being stalked by an out-of-proportion raptor. Hey, remember how the movie is using plot points from the first novel, like the jungle cruise and waterfall chase? Maybe this is showing a guy about to shoot a raptor in the face with a grenade launcher, like in the first book. Man, it’s like Christmas came early today!

Again, I don’t know where those came from. For all I know, they could’ve been around for months. Still, they couldn’t look any more awesome.

I’ve saved the best toy set for last. This isn’t even official, but it’s still really high-quality and I can’t wait to get my hands on it. Gaze upon it:

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Any of you planning on buying any of these? Which one is your favorite?

P.S. Shoutout to The Dinosaur Guy– I reblogged his post and now there are 15 separate pictures of Philosoraptor in my photo queue. I was confused and then elated when I saw them. Bless you, Dinosaur Guy.

UPDATE: More! I found more! I found… oh…. uhhh…

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“Become the king of the dinosaurs!”

Wh– what kind of freak of nature is that raptor? I’m assuming by the head coming out of the hand that these are rubber hand puppets, so they won’t look perfect, but I still feel like I need to go wash my hands after looking at that raptor.

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“Ready for combat! Moving head and tail!”

There we go. Nice sculpts all around, except for that ankylosaurus, which looks good but suspiciously similar to a Safari Ltd figure that I have at home but currently forget the name of. And look at that capture gear on the raptor! It looks cool, but has worrying implications. I thought the raptors were trained, not captured and forcibly trained. It’s probably just accessories meant to make the toy look cooler, though, and I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. Rexes have come with capture gear in the past, when no such equipment was used in the movie. I think I see a couple of repaints (pachy, spino), but they’re good repaints, at least. And I want that Allosaur something awful.

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“The strongest hunters in Jurassic World!” and “Parts that move: claws and tail”.

Finally, more raptor pictures. The dark green one is still my favorite, and I still think they look fantastic. Well, maybe not so much the olive-green one, but whaddaya want, they’re prototypes.

More later– apparently there are even more photos I haven’t seen yet.

Source: http://www.scified.com/site/jurassicworld/first-look-at-hasbros-jurassic-world-toy-line

UPDATE: I’ve heard people in this thread (http://jplegacy.org/board/showthread.php?t=27612&page=11) talking about a toy that’s apparently a stegosaurus/triceratops hybrid. I could care less if it’s released as a toy, but that right there is one of the small list of things that I think should absolutely not be in the movie at all. Also, apparently there was an I. rex puppet picture leaked too (it’s in the photo with the other two). That got smacked with a takedown order from Universal, and apparently so did the other I. rex toys. But, again, it’s too late and they’re still on the Internet somewhere. I am still looking for them. If someone wants to help me– either by posting a photo(s) in the comments or by emailing them to me at theraptordash@gmail.com– I would really, really appreciate it.

Another Lego set:

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This too. Sorry.

Again with the capture gear. I’m starting to think these aren’t real movie scenes, which is more than a little disappointing (see: raptor and rocket launcher). Those are some big raptors. Look at ’em, they’re the size of trucks.

This is the bluured I. rex puppet picture:

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Honestly, with the napkins and plates wallpapering the Internet, you’d think censoring images like this would be unnecessary. Everyone who wants to see the I. rex has seen it by now. But whatever, we’ll all see the puppet when it hits stores.

Speaking of which, there’s more plate-related drama going on in the fandom right now than a Shakespeare play put on by stegosaurs. I’m not taking sides and I’m not gonna argue. I just want to remind everyone reading this that, after the leaks have settled down, we’ll still be a fan community and we’ll still all have the same love of dinosaurs. So if you want to look at the leaks, look all you want, and if you don’t, avert your eyes. Do whatever you want and don’t let anyone bother you for it. Sooner or later the fighting will stop, and if we all stop taking part in it, it’ll stop sooner. Please don’t feed the trolls.

UPDATE: Sorry to spam you guys with updates. Found another picture:

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Is this that bad head sculpt everyone’s been talking about? I mean, it’s not that bad, it’s nice in a wow-this-is-pretty-good-for-$6-at-Walmart type of way, but it isn’t great, you know? This isn’t terrible, but it needs work.

Found these, too:

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Yep, those sure are raptor-claw versions of Hulk Hands. I will be purchasing at least 2 pairs.

Fanmade Graphic Novel

I have wanted this to happen for years. A fan or group of fans is making a full-length graphic novel adaptation of the first Jurassic Park novel, and it’s just incredible. Look at this freaking thing:

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As you can see, much better quality than the official comic books– at least the first ones– and a lot darker, which fits the dark themes of the book quite nicely. (Dark themes that’ll show up pretty soon after this part of the story– if you haven’t read the book, a baby gets eaten at one point.) Anyway, this is gorgeous and I really commend whoever’s doing this. I can’t wait to see the rest of the story. Follow the story as the author updates it here: http://michaelcrichtonsjurassicpark.tumblr.com/

I wish I had more Jurassic World news to report on, but you’ve gotta admit this isn’t a bad diversion. Also, I found another one:

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