Tag Archives: Raptors

Well Smack Me With a Halibut, It’s Real

There’s a reason for that title and I’ll get to it, but I’ll get to it at the end because I have a really good joke so stay with me, all right? First, Sesame Street did a Jurassic Park parody and it’s absolutely hilarious:





It features Cookie Monster as Hammond along with a couple of adorable little Lex and Tim puppets, and they do a bunch of silly stuff after the necessary homage shots. And it also has a really good message– “if you’re feeling anxious, you’ll be able to think more clearly if you do something that makes you feel better, like hugging yourself”– that I was pleasantly surprised was in there. Is that a regular thing that the show is doing now? Giving advice to kids with anxiety? That’s really awesome. Heck, maybe I should start watching Sesame Street again.

The Waterloo Station raptor crate has been improved!



Honestly, I would probably go there and touch one of them even if it meant getting kicked out, just for the chance to pet a raptor. There don’t seem to be too many color differences, so this might not be the Raptor Squad– have we been graced with the presence of wild Nublar raptors? There’s other stuff too, like an audio tour, giant posters and “park guides” walking around, but this is by far the coolest part of it. Note the advertisements for Claire’s GLE Coupe. I like to think that every once in a while, Claire would just put giant banners with her cool car up all over the island, just to show everyone what she could afford. She needed to cement her status. She needed power.

The official JW Facebook page released this today:


So Owen needs to shoot something in the visitors’ center? I want to think he’s going after the pteranodon flock, because the alternative makes me want to bang my head against the wall. So right now, I’m going with the assumption that he’s not shooting at the I. rexthat I. rex is not in the visitors’ center and that there will not be a re-creation of the famous VC scene from the first movie with I. rex taking Rexy’s place. I’m ignoring that possibility. Hear me doing it? It sounds like me sticking my fingers in my ears and singing. La laaa la laaaa, la la laa la la la laaaaa…

Finally– and here’s where the title comes in– a new featurette was just released, featuring paleontological consultant Jack Horner and some new footage:


“…so you see, what the scene culminates in is– stay with me here– there’s this dummy, right? A real stupid-looking dummy. It’s in one of the store windows on Main Street. Just a real dumb-looking thing, and it’s dressed like Robert Bakker. It’s got the beard and the vest and everything. And just in case no one gets the reference, there’ll be a sign on its neck that says ” the ROBERT BAKKER collection”. But wait, it gets better. So T. rex is stomping down Main Street, she’s just destroyed the Spino skeleton. And she stops and just looks down into this window, and when she sees the store mannequin– which, again, is Robert Bakker– she lunges down, picks it up and eats it. Just swallows it whole. And when she’s done, she looks right into the camera and says, “SEE, I’M NOT A SCAVENGER.” It’s genius, right? See, what I’m going for here is subtlety. It’s symbolic, you feel me?”

There were a couple of new shots, like this one of Dimorphodon having none of anyone’s ****:


And Hoskins yelling at Masrani about how I. rex is a killing machine, while Masrani just stands there and regards him with the “ugh, plebian” look that I’ve grown to love him for:


As well as AIEEEEE, more babies!


Aww, how cute! That one kind of looks like a little iguana, but at least she’s realistic. She looks quite a lot like an animatronic, actually– just look at the way her skin folds. And awwwww, she’s closing her eyes when they pet her just like a little puppy! It would be nice to see how the movie ends, but clearly this scene is where I’ll keel over and die.

And here, finally, is the main point. We got a shot of Wu’s mad-scientist laboratory, which is just as cool as I’d imagined it. Very dark and creepy and dare I say slightly morbid:


Wait, what’s that on the computer monitor?…



I called it! Didn’t I totally call it? I forget whether it was here or JPL, but I totally said that Stegoceratops would probably just make a background cameo on a screen. Well, the wait and speculation are over. Stegoceratops is canon! This is shown right before a blueprint shot of I. rex on the same screen, so it’s distinctly possible that Stegoceratops may have been already created as well. He did it. The crazy son of a *****, Wu did it. I’m actually very excited for where this is going– if it’s not in this movie, there’s still Jurassic Park 5 for Stegoceratops to show up in. And I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to our new Stegoceratops overlords for what I’ve called their kind on this blog in the past, “ugly abominations” being the least of it.

Raptor Dash gazed up at the enormous face. Ten months it had taken her to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the two curved horns. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving dinosaur breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of her nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. She had won the victory over her lack of suspension of disbelief. She loved Stegoceratops.


I. Rex Clip & Viral Marketing Done Right

Honestly, I expected to have a ton of work on my hands at this point. With 4 days until the movie comes out (at least where I live, but my local theater likes to do a few things under the table) I thought we’d be inundated with news, new footage, etc. But less than a week until the movie comes out, here we are with barely anything. There are still a couple of things to cover, though.

First is another 30-second clip featuring the I. rex chasing Zach and Gray over the waterfall:


Dramatic music abounds as they run for it out of the forest, with the I. rex close behind them. Indominus rex really does have a terrifying design and it’s very menacing and dangerous just like Claire intended, and it’s also perfect for movie villainy purposes. It’s fast and dangerous enough to catch and eat minor characters like Lee and the worker in the breakout scene, but at the same time just slow enough that it can’t outrun any major protagonists. Truly a work of genius.


The CGI is also quite good. It isn’t as exquisitely detailed and thoroughly convincing as the animatronics, but it isn’t from a SyFy movie either. I think what throws me off is that I. rex is so bright white– wouldn’t stalking prey quietly out in the jungle be a perfect time for her to camouflage, anyway?– and it just doesn’t look too natural for a dinosaur to be that color. But doing the best I can to set that aside, I like the way I. rex looks here.


Predictably, they come to a waterfall. I know he hasn’t had an opportunity to take it off since the whole attack thing started, but you’d think Zach would have done something about that hoodie by now. Considering that they’re, you know, on a tropical island in the middle of summer. Price of fashion, I guess.


Zach says they’ll have to jump, but Gray insists that he can’t. To clarify: he doesn’t want to jump, fall about the length of your average waterslide past no rocks whatsoever and land in a pool of deep, clear water. When it’s the only alternative to a giant monster dinosaur eating him.


Zach does the smartest thing we’ve seen him do so far by grabbing Gray’s hand and jumping just before I. rex gets her lunch. This is after 10 long seconds of just standing there, but all’s well that ends well, right? That’s the end of the clip. I like it for what it is and it’ll be cool to watch on the big screen, but I am slightly disappointed about it. I. rex chasing them over the edge sort of showed that this wouldn’t happen, but I didn’t really consider it until now. I was kind of hoping to see a scene out of the first novel with I. rex attacking the kids as they hide behind the waterfall; the dark waterfall shot from the first trailer was what implied that, I think. If it isn’t happening, okay, there’s no point in shoehorning it in; if there’s a different waterfall attack scene later or I. rex makes it to the lake, even better. It just would have been nice to see.

Possibly the best viral marketing stunt ever came out this week:


This care appeared in the Waterloo Station in London recently. Growls, shrieks and velociraptor sounds come out of it, and it’s generally very cool. I don’t think anything worth looking at is actually inside it, but that doesn’t stop everybody from sticking their face in the little windows, no siree.


If anyone lives in London and would like to make a pilgrimage to the holy site, pictures would be greatly appreciated. I seriously want to know what there is to see in that crate.

Thanks to Jurassiraptor on Tumblr for sharing this. On June 20, head to a Toys ‘R Us and make a Jurassic Park gate from Legos for free!


And this isn’t official news, but I can’t resist sharing baby dinosaur pictures. Lord Kristine has slaughtered me once again.

Her widdle face while she holds her cow!

Lastly, I’ve been thinking about how I’ll go about reviewing the movie and I’ve pretty much decided that on June 12, I’ll do a review with my immediate reaction. What I thought of certain plot points, how the story progressed, my all-encompassing rage if Rexy dies and an “oh that’s sad, but good riddance” if I. rex loses the fight, etc. I’ll dig deeper over the next few weeks– it’s not like there’ll be too much new JW news after the movie’s out, so I might as well take my time. But that’s the plan for the moment, and rest assured that this blog will still continue after the movie’s over– it’ll just be more focused on fan work (Fanfics You Should Be Reading, fan art expos) and my creative endeavors, as well as merchandise news and Jurassic Park 5 rumors. If you have any different ideas about how I should handle my movie review (which, to be completely honest, might consist mostly of “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH” for the first few days) don’t hesitate to let me know in the comments!

New Jurassic World Clips & The Meme Lives

Two new clips from Jurassic World were released over the past two days, and according to Jurassic Park Legacy we’ll get a special 2-minute one tomorrow night on NBC!

EDIT: Ugh, what a ripoff. There was no clip, it was just a bunch of footage we’ve seen before.

The only new thing I could discern was a half-second shot of two raptors chasing the Mobile Veterinary Unit, which is pretty cool:


But oh well. We’ll all see the whole movie in 5 or 6 days depending on where we live, so there’s no point in crying over spilled clip.

For some reason I can’t find the first clip, #7, on Youtube at all. Not a single second of it. It was removed by the original poster for some reason and now all that remains are a couple of pasty guys reviewing the clip but not showing it. Anyway, the clip was another one where we’ve seen most of the footage already. It was Owen and Barry releasing the Raptor Squad from their cages by waving meat in front of them and then opening the doors for them to run out. The only important things I could discern from it were that the team’s strategy seems to be just letting the raptors out and letting them run ahead and track the scent like bloodhounds, and that all of the raptors were in fact wearing those black electronic headpieces.

I hate those things.

The headpieces are more than likely for tracking purposes so they don’t just run off and do their raptor thing in the jungle, but if Vic uses them to take advantage of the dinosaurs I will be very, very pissed.

Here’s the second clip, #8, featuring the boys in the restricted zone:


Gray looks understandably upset and Zach looks like the consequences of his actions might just be coming back to him for once in his life. Gray sulks, “We shouldn’t be here, and there’s five dinosaurs.” Not quite sure why the dinosaur count would be the biggest issue facing them at this point, but okay. Zach says, “Aren’t you supposed to be a genius or something?” This is a Jurassic Park movie, Zach, at least one of the required children has to be a genius at something. Get with the program. Then he points out 4 ankylosaurs.

“You came to the wrong %*&$in’ neighborhood, kid.”

And then Gray looks at the reflection in the gyrosphere and says, “Five.”

When you see it…

The camera very slowly pans up and then we see the I. rex standing right behind them. She roars– and it’s actually her roar this time and not T. rex’s! Hooray– and the clip is over.


I like this clip a lot and I sincerely hope that it resembles the rest of the movie in terms of suspense. The cinematography is very cool– especially when we see I. rex covered in sunlight– and it’s great with its suspense. The pacing is just right and very little music is used, and even then it’s only a chord or two. This scene could have been played up in a ‘spookier’, more obviously suspenseful way, but it wasn’t. It was suspenseful in a quiet, distinctly Jurassic Park way, and it reminded me of the leadup to the trailer attack in Lost World. Kudos all around! Now let’s just hope the rest of the movie is this good.

Some new footage also came from TV spot #24:


I. rex bites down on the ‘sphere just a few seconds after the boys get out. I’d call it implausible that she would take that long to attack, but she may have been momentarily distracted by the ankylosaurs and she doesn’t have a lot of context to figure out that there are humans in the big rolly balls, anyway. It seems like her primary motivation in this scene is to establish as much of the Restricted Zone as her territory as she can– a dinosaur’s roar probably had a few meanings, the primary one being the communication of “GET OFF MY LAWN”– and she’d probably see other dinosaurs as a threat before she’d notice a big piece of glass.


Some pterodactyls give this helicopter the business before it crashes into the aviary. I wonder if their goal was to get it there in the first place or if it was just incidental that the copter ended up there? Or I’m reading into it too much, and the pterodactyls just wanted to head home and their lunch followed.

On top of that, there’s a new GLE Coupe commercial if you’re into that sort of thing:

I hadn’t noticed it earlier, but in the scene where Owen investigates the Gyrosphere, you can really clearly see the Mercedes logo on the car behind him. Oh well, better that than including product placement in the dialogue.

You may not know this, but I have a terrible habit of laughing at old memes. I still think “I crave that mineral” is funny and I still follow Tumblrs that revolve around neckbeard jokes. So I still think the “70s sexist” meme is funny. And now I’m glad to say that it’s been brought back from the grave.

A masterpiece that speaks with the voice of this generation.

Trevorrow responded to Joss Whedon’s tweet a couple months late by saying, “I wasn’t bothered by what he said about the movie and, to be honest, I don’t totally disagree with him. I wonder why [Universal] chose a clip like that, that shows an isolated situation within a movie that has an internal logic. That starts with characters that are almost archetypes, stereotypes that are deconstructed as the story progresses.” There we go. That’s basically what everyone except the clip truthers have been saying since the clip debuted– it’s an isolated clip that doesn’t represent the rest of the movie. I’m also very happy that he’s breaking down walls and doing something different with the ‘types’ of characters that Owen and Claire are– showing that they’re actually people who may appear to be stereotypes but who aren’t all surface. And then he said something even better.

“The real protagonist of the movie is Claire and we embrace her femininity in the story’s progression. There’s no need for a female character that does things like a male character, that’s not what makes interesting female characters in my view.” Yes, yes, yes! I’m so thrilled about this and I couldn’t agree more. Not only does she completely bust the smarmy-scientist archetype and go through an Ellen Ripley character transformation, she can still act however she wants while she does it because being feminine doesn’t make someone any less capable. I know you guys aren’t here to listen to my feminist joy, but please know that I’m still squeeing on the inside.

Now here’s something interesting regarding JW’s sequel. JPL member Oviraptor found this in an article in the Radio Times recently (emphasis mine):
“I really like the idea that this group of geneticists aren’t the only people who can make a dinosaur. You know, when you think of the differences between Apple and PC – the minute something goes open-source, there are all kinds of entities and interests that may be able to utilise that technology. It would be like the way we have relationships with animals on this planet right now – there are animals that are kept in zoos, like Jurassic Park, but they are also used in agriculture, and medicine and in war. We are the Alpha now, and we dominate all of the other animals. But when you throw in animals that were the Alpha on this planet for far longer than we’ve ever existed in with us… I don’t really know who’s in charge there.”

Sounds pretty terrifying – and Trevorrow deliberately leaves the door open for these possibilities in Jurassic World with one key scene (which we won’t discuss in too much detail to avoid spoilers) involving dinosaur embryos being smuggled off the island, and which Trevorrow described as an attempt to “leave possibilities open that were relatively endless.”

Well, isn’t that interesting. Not only is it possible that there will be a “tech race” between different companies’ dinosaurs in the sequel, but there seems to be a scene in Jurassic World that involves somebody getting embryos off of Nublar. I would think Hoskins of all people would probably do this. I’m not gonna speculate or pry too much about this– we still haven’t seen the fourth movie yet!– but if this turns out to be a reality, I’m 100% in support of it. I’ve wanted to see dinosaurs being integrated into the mainland and becoming widespread yet under human control would be like for a really long time, and to see that explored in an actual movie would be phenomenal. And I don’t care if it’s a shot for shot remake of the first movie, I want Hoskins to get eaten by a dilophosaur. Read the article here.

That’s all there is for official news. I found a neat little quiz on BuzzFeed that lets you find out if you’re more like Dr. Grant or Dr. Malcolm. (Warning: it’s kinda unnecessarily sexual, which fits in with the spirit of Malcolm now that I think about it.) I think you guys can guess what my result was. As an added bonus, someone said, “Seriously! As I was answering, I’m like oh sweet, I’m totally getting Dr Grant. But NO, I got the Chaos SLUT!” in the comments section, which made me laugh for ten straight minutes. Actually, I’m pretty much still dying.

Matching icons–
–for you and your friend!

I went to one of my local malls today and was a complete dork at the movie theater:


I also picked up this little beauty at the comic book store:


Yes, that’s a polar bear on the cover. This woman chases down pterodactyls and one lands in a dusty zoo (hmmm) and fights a polar bear. The bear wins. It’s weird.

Drop what you’re doing and follow and/or go read Lord Kristine’s new blog called Lord Kristine Does Some Things. It opened with a hilarious mocking of a terrible JP fanfiction and it’ll only get better from there. Also, the blog was kinda my suggestion. She might be able to make me like toys, but I can make her start blogs. Score’s even, Kristine.

Happy Jurassic June, by the way! Make sure to do any JP-related creative stuff you can or at least just post some selfies of you in your Park shirt! Only one more week to go. We can do this!

Lots O’ New Footage

We’ve got a bunch of clips and new footage to check out! First is a thingy featuring the Samsung Innovation Center, provided by Best Buy. It’s worth mentioning that if you go to a Best Buy and ask a salesperson about whatever new Samsung TV they’re showing this on, they’ll give you a bunch of free stuff like a park brochure and trading cards. So go jump on it– older people are laughing their way to the bank because we all bought their JP Topps cards off of Ebay, so in a couple decades let’s do the same to the next generation. Here’s the video:


Here’s Zara chillin’ out with her sign and generally not giving a single **** about what’s going on. And wearing Helena Bonham Carter shades, no less. I bet she’s hungover from too many Bloody Ellies.

The clips follow the boys and the reluctant Zara (I like her just from this clip; it’s too bad she has to violently die, but such is the will of the Mighty Mosasaur and ours is not to reason why) as they go through the Visitors’ Innovation Center. There isn’t anything terribly worthy of note– mostly just the movie showing off its CGI chops by all the awesome displays and toys the place has– but it’s visually appealing if nothing else. And Gray is pretty cute in it.


I found it worth noting that this is exactly what the elevator from the parking lot to the security checkpoint at Universal Orlando looks like, as well as the elevator between the upper and lower park sections at Universal Hollywood. They think they’re being subtle, but I see what they’re up to.


Zara trails along behind the boys on her phone and narrowly avoids losing them. On one hand, I want to say, “Zara get off your phone, those are human children under your care” but on the other, she just doesn’t care. She’s just too chill to be bothered. Oh well, at least Zara’s negligence and carelessness won’t be what gets the boys in danger, ZACH.


Cool, maybe in 50 years they’ll let natural history museums borrow these kinds of displays for a little bit. Also, what the heck is the pink-and-white thing on the screen behind them? The Indominus Rex Spinal Distortion Experience?


“Hey Vic, check out this Samsung Galaxy tablet I bought for the low price of $49.99 at the Samsung Innovation center on Isla Nublar! Hey Vic Hoskins, dinosaur trainer, wouldn’t you say this tablet is dinoriffic? Give me your Skype name so I can contact you on my Samsung device, Vic!”

That’s it for that one, except for a couple of little snapshots. Next we have another short clip featuring Owen and Claire!

This isn’t too astounding; it’s a clip of the two of them walking up to the I. rex pen, and most of the quotes– Claire’s about corporate, Owen’s about dinosaurs being wow enough– we’ve heard numerous times already. It seems to take place after the bungalow scene, after a short car ride. Hey, look at that! Look what Owen did! I even made a special ribbon just for him.




If I had to choose one favorite thing about this movie besides the dinosaurs, it would be the faces Claire makes when she’s annoyed. Look at her. They’re priceless.


She says they needed a name like Indominus because it was scary and easy to pronounce; “you should hear a four-year-old try to pronounce Archaeornithomimus.” This is a crucial stage in Claire’s character development because it’s where we find out that she clearly dislikes children, and has in fact probably never been around a four-year-old at all. Have you ever been in the same room as a dinosaur-obsessed preschooler for more than ten minutes? They’re like little dictionaries when it comes to dinosaur names. My dad works at a primary school and mentioned that I like Tylosaurus to one of his classes once, and a first-grader immediately pointed out that tylosaurs were a kind of mosasaur. Never underestimate the power and determination of a four-year-old. Anyway, Owen says, “You should see you try to pronounce it.” (She pronounced it flawlessly.) Owen, you watch yourself or you won’t get another ribbon, young man.

Next is another featurette, called “A New Vision”.

It’s mostly about Spielberg talking about how Trevorrow was a great choice to direct the movie, and anything Steven says I will agree with (even though Trevorrow won’t direct JP5, so maybe he isn’t totally invested in the franchise). We see him directing in places like this:


Hooray! Old maintenance shed! It looks like the boys will be pretty thorough in their search through the ruins. Speaking of which, look at the official page put up the other day:


This might be a bit of a shoehorned thing, but I really don’t care. ♫♫ T. rex paddock, we’re going back to the old T. rex paddock, with the ol’ wrecked Jeeps, oh yeah ♫♫

Bryce Dallas Howard and a few others gush over Trevorrow, and then we see a behind-the-scenes look at the apatosaur animatronic (thanks to Jurassic Daily for pretty much every GIF here except these two, which were made by Indominous Rex):



Wow. It could just be me, but that looks 100% real to me. We are way out of the first-movie brachiosaur level here. This is some wizardry. Look at how it blinks and how the neck skin moves. You can even see its nostrils move as it breathes. I’m really, really impressed.

And now I’m gonna ruin it for you. Look at the apatosaur’s face in the first GIF.



That’s it for that video (unless you want to hear a bunch of different people verbally kiss Trevorrow’s ring), but there’s a couple more animatronic shots from this video. It’s in Korean, but apparently it doesn’t say anything we don’t know.

There are some awesome shots of the movie’s animatronics.





Again, wow. That is some seriously beautiful artistry right there. They all look gorgeously detailed– I love the I. rex’s pebbly skin– and they seem to move well too. Just look at that apatosaur’s mouth moving. It’s just like a whinnying horse. CGI is a great tool, don’t get me wrong, but I would be thrilled to see more of these kinds of animatronics in the movie.

We’ve gotten a few more TV spots (and they’re getting shorter and shorter) but #23 had an interesting second of new footage.


The group is reunited and Claire is filthy, so I’m thinking this takes place somewhere around the Visitors’ Center scene or the Mobile Veterinary Unit scene. I’m just wondering what Blue is doing here. No one looks like they’re particularly terrified and Owen looks mostly collected, so it’s possible they aren’t in too much danger, but since Owen’s in his “stand down” position and Blue is facing the group before she turns around, she could still be rogue and attacking them. It would make sense, assuming Blue was trying to kill them, for Owen to stave her off and Claire to protect the boys. But I want to believe that Blue has decided to stay loyal and protect them and that she’s looking to Owen for orders– even though she of all raptors is probably the one most likely to go and stay rogue (hey, if you were fed last for your whole life you’d be bitter too). Either way, I assume she’s turning around to look at one of the ‘rexes and I seriously hope she doesn’t die. Stay powerful, New Big One.

The last video is a behind-the-scenes B-roll (the sound cuts out in the beginning, don’t turn your speakers up):

We’ve seen some of it before and not a lot of it is notable, but some of it is pretty cool. We get to see a bit of Lowery:



I still like his character and I’ll probably be obnoxiously fangirling over and cosplaying him once the movie’s out, but I still think it’s a bit of a jerk move to wear that T-shirt.


We see a couple of scenes where Masrani gets up in Wu’s business. Here we can clearly hear Wu saying, “I never imagined…” Oh my, is Henry Wu about to get converted to the good side? Is he seeing the error of his ways? I want the answer to be “yes”, but that’s mostly because I want to see him fight dinosaurs with a machine gun. But sure, I’ll sit through a philosophical argument first. No rush guys, talk it out.


♫ Can you hear the people cry, cry over Owen and Claire’s ship? It is the tears of teenage girls who only want those two to kiss ♫

And possibly the best part of the entire thing:



The amazing part is that this is right outside the T. rex kingdom. The Lego trailer bit has been confirmed– T. rex smashes right through the Spino skeleton on her way out. I feel like screeching at a decibel level barely audible to human ears. Rexy is queen again!


Not related to videos, another Giaccino piece was released called “Nine to Survival Job”. http://jurassicdaily.tumblr.com/post/120493498312/nine-to-surival-job-jurassic-world-ost It’s beautiful but sad, and it features just a tiny strain of the original theme music at the end. It’s becoming a cliche at this point, but we’re gonna cry, folks.

I saw some pretty cool stuff at Target the other day:





I bought one of the official plushies there, so now I have a small but growing mosasaur collection!

Poseidon on the left and Kraken on the right.


Finally, I went to Dairy Queen tonight and got a Jurassic Smash Blizzard! Their promotion is in full swing, so I got my ice cream in one of the official cups and decided to share it to social media before I ate it like some kind of teenage white girl:


For the record, the Blizzard flavor is really, really good. It’s two kinds of cookie dough and it’s truly awesome. Plus the lady at the counter gave me an extra Gyrosphere cup when she saw my raptor. So don’t be afraid to show off your fandom! It just might get you a free paper cup with a dinosaur on it someday.

Raptor Squad Clip, Among Other Things

Another clip from the movie has dropped! We’ve seen a lot of it already, but at least it’s put together this time. It’s the pig scene with the Raptor Squad, and the name ‘Raptor Squad’ is now canon! Our voices have been heard!


Behold the doomed.


This guy– for all intents and purposes let’s just call him Food– was trying to snag the pig, but instead he just gets yanked to the ground. *slow clap*


Owen debates whether to dive in for a minute, and Barry and Vic Hoskins watch from outside. Hoskins is probably sticking his nose in Owen and Barry’s business again, and Barry is just sort of hanging out, being no-nonsense.


Owen Indiana Joneses under the gate and two ACUs immediately show up on the catwalk, wielding guns; Owen yells at them to hold their fire because if they shoot at the raptors, the raptors will never trust him again. That is if, you know, they’re not freaking dead from being shot at. 


Barry (who’s wearing a pink button-down and khakis; is he Disneybounding Ellie Sattler? Wow, ol’ Barry’s cooler than I thought) yanks Food out of the pen while Owen stops the raptors with his “stand down” pose that we’ve seen in the trailers. Throughout all of this, Hoskins remains 100% useless, opting to stare at them with the requisite amount of fear. He wants to retrain these raptors to obey him, but he won’t even try to enter a barred-off gate area that’s slightly closer to them but still safe. Yeah, that plan’s gonna work out fantastically.


He tells Blue to stand down, and when she snaps– but doesn’t make a move on him– Owen makes his adorable little stern face and says, “Hey, what did I just say?” Um, Owen, I have some bad news for you. I know this must be tough to hear, but, well… raptors can’t understand complex English sentences. I understand if this takes a while to process.


He says, “Back up!” and they understand that, at least. And that’s the end of the clip. It was short but tension-filled, and if I hadn’t seen Owen being the Raptor Whisperer 83 times before this I’d genuinely be in the edge of my seat watching it. And the musical score reminds me very much of the first film– it’s very effective. (I saw Tomorrowland today, which Giaccino scored as well, and if his work there is an indicator of his usual performance I don’t think we’ll be disappointed with what he did on this one.)

We’ve got a new TV spot, featuring Claire!


We get a quick panorama of the island. I can see why Masrani owns a private helicopter now– you know, other than being filthy stinking rich.


Those of you with multiple dogs probably recognize this look. The “food is being offered so now we’ll fall into line like a bunch of soldiers, see how good we’re being?” gaze.


The whole clip is a voice-over of Claire getting her daily rundown in the control room. She makes a point of saying that there were more than 22 thousand visitors that day. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again– what do they need to make new hybrids to boost attendance for? 22,000 people isn’t enough for them?


Oh yeah, gimme that lunge! They’re still using the T. rex roar for Indominus. You know, we’ve already played with our Bad Boy toys and those roar, and it isn’t really a big secret what I. rex’s roar sounds like, so I’m beginning to think these scientists take notes from the Jurassic Park Lego game when it comes to their genetics strategies.


Owen talks to the ACUs about how raptors are pack hunters– the significance of the Squad must be explained, for it is sacred– and that’s it for new footage.

A short featurette on the making of the movie was released the other day. People are making a big kerfuffle about it but we’ve seen about 95% of it before, even Spielberg’s commentary. Anyway, here it is:

The only new footage we see in it is a little bit of Owen training his girls from the walkway:



You may notice that Charlie keeps hitting Echo in the face with her tail. I find this so, so hilarious.

In case you’re interested, Dairy Queen has a commercial for their Jurassic World Blizzard and it features the Main Street attack:

RaptorBait10162 on JPLegacy discovered some new Lego JW screenshots!


This looks like the Jeep shed that we see Claire and Owen gettin’ shippy in in the TV spots, so awww, does that mean no wild T. rex? I mean, I’ll take any old Jurassic Park ruin scenes I can get and the scene will still be cool if it’s I. rex attacking them, but I was kinda looking forward to seeing Rexy tearing up her old kingdom. Oh well.

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Owen, you’re not fooling anyone with that stern face of yours. It won’t stop people from calling you Andy Dwyer.

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What did Ankylosaurus do to deserve being mutated in this way? WHAT DID IT DO?!

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“Yeah? YEAH? Come over here and say that to my #^%*in’ FACE, Charlie!”

Actually, that isn’t entirely a joke. I can’t help but wonder if there’s at least a little infighting that goes on with the Raptor Squad– they’ve gotta get those killer instincts out somehow, right?

Some new movie stills were recently released as well. A lot of them feature Claire and Owen, both of whom would like to cordially offer you a ticket to board the Ship Train. Much like the Polar Express, it’ll come by your house late at night on June 11. It will take you to Universal Studios, where one lucky child will be chosen to stand beside Bryce Dallas Howard and Chris Pratt and shout at them until they kiss. The Ship Train will only come for you if you truly believe.

“Oh Owen, you’re so *gasp* strong!” “I was born to ride, baby.”


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Honestly, I think I’d want to punch Hoskins even if I didn’t know about his character.

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Don’t mess around with Barry. His pink safari shirt is very serious.


“Yeah, uh, Karen? I think I might need you to pick me up. Yeah. Him.


Ooh, old visitors’ center! Visitors’ center! I know that mural!!! Awesome, I can’t wait to see them just look around for a little bit! I was wondering if the only scenes taking part there would be fast-paced action scenes, but apparently not! Hooray! You can see the rest of them here: http://blogs.indiewire.com/theplaylist/over-30-new-jurassic-world-photos-plus-2-new-clips-lots-of-new-tv-spots-20150525?page=1

If you’re feeling thirsty, here’s someone’s tears that I’ve enjoyed drinking and that I’d be glad to share: http://legalinsurrection.com/2015/05/feminists-freak-out-over-jurassic-world/

That’s all for today, folks! I won’t be on here for a couple of days– I’m going to MoMoCon in Atlanta! If you see me there, hit me up; I’ll be wearing either a Malcolm, Ellie or Vinyl Scratch cosplay.

Random News: Just Let Me Die at Universal Edition

OK, first of all, a couple of new tracks from the Giaccino (am I spelling his name right? I always feel like I’m spelling it wrong) score were released last night and you need to listen to them right now.

The first is As the Jurassic World Turns, the second one doesn’t have a name and they’re both gorgeous. As the Jurassic World Turns has my full seal of approval. It’s exactly what a Jurassic Park soundtrack should sound like– soaring and full of wonder with little undertones that make it seem just a bit dark. I hope this is the main theme, because it’s evoking just the right feeling with me. It’s the sound you’d hear when you walked through the park gates onto Main Street and saw apatosaur heads in the distance. The other one is nice too, very creepy indeed. It’s giving me sort of a Restricted Zone vibe.

TV spot #19 has hit the air! By the way, has anyone actually seen these during commercial breaks on actual TV? Which ones have you seen? I don’t have cable (living that Roku life) so I haven’t had the opportunity to see one and hit the roof.

There’s really only one new shot, and it’s of I. rex’s eye-rex:


She looks a bit green– looks like she can camouflage after all! Good for you, I. rex! Unless she’s actually feeling green, in which case she should probably visit the I. rex hospital along with all the I. rex toys who have gaping Dino Damage wounds that take great effort to close. My Natasha’s flies open with a single touch.

Thanks to Sickle_Claw of JPLegacy, who didn’t loose this Hero Mashers commercial upon the world but who I do blame for bringing it to light:


I. rex knocks T. rex apart with a drumstick because all forms of good on the Earth are dead.


Mosa-Spino takes the drumstick instead. Light has vanished. All that is left is dark and cold.


There is no such thing as beauty anymore and laughter is nothing but a distant memory. A voice hauntingly chants, “You take your old head off, you put your new head on,” as civilization marches into its grave and all love vanishes into the air, trailing away like wisps of smoke.

Hey, I don’t have Stegoceratops to knock on anymore, so all my foreboding and rage has to go somewhere. Speaking of which, Lord Kristine kills me once again:


And now about Universal. Look what they put up in the Jurassic Park section of Islands of Adventure. Just look:

That, friends, is an actual raptor pen where you can get the closest you ever will to meeting an InGen dinosaur in person. It’s an independent (somehow it walks around on its own without a track; there was a dinosaur animatronic called Lucky once that could do that, but I thought that technology wasn’t that widespread) animatronic raptor that does the weird raptor chirps, restlessly moves around, shakes its tail and a bunch of other cool stuff.


Is that awesome or what? If you’re in or near Orlando right now, please take the opportunity and haul butt to that park. I personally would pay the entire admission fee just to sit there all day and watch the raptor. You may also want to pay a visit to this little guy:


When I went to IOA as a kid I used to love spending time with this little trike animatronic. Its trainer carries it around and it moves, grunts and wiggles on its own (and likes to be scratched under its chin). Come to think of it, this may have been something that contributed to my baby dinosaur obsession today. Anyway, please go check it out if you have the chance, and tell me about it so I can live vicariously through you.

Finally and also Universal-related, I dug something interesting out of my computer files today. If you’ve never been to the park, there’s a Visitors’ Center replica called the Discovery Center, where you can watch a “baby raptor” hatch and play trivia games and stuff. There’s also a bunch of machines there that let you see what you’d be like as a dinosaur. It “takes a DNA sample” by taking your fingerprint, takes your photo and asks a bunch of questions about what kind of dino you think you’d be. I said I’d be a solitary herbivore with armor as defense (this was a few years ago and I was a young child in the early stages of my velociraptor awakening). I therefore present to you Raptor Dash in her dinosaur form:




More TV Spots, Holy Cow

Three more TV spots with new footage came out in the past couple of days. As you can guess, most of it we’ve already seen, but the scraps are what I’m here for. Here’s the first:


Now that I’ve gotten a better look at this raptor, I’m pretty sure it’s Delta. I guess Blue lets the other girls pretend they’re as cool as her once in a while.

Now here is the best part out of these three spots, and the part that’s had the JPL forums in stitches since it’s come out. Owen and Claire are out in the jungle, about to go I. rex shootin’, and Owen points to a giant pile of poop and says they need to “cover up that scented lotion”. And instead of daintily dipping her finger in the pile and making a face, or doing something else that you’d expect a prim and orderly scientist to do in such a situation, she proceeds to do this:




My apologies if your computer spontaneously combusted from the sheer concentration of sass in that last photo. Look at her face– “There, I did it. I am COVERED in crap. Boom. Get on my level.” I no longer have any worries that she’s a “stiff” or that she’ll be the butt of “LOL prissy woman” humor. That came out of nowhere, and it’s hilarious. She’s spontaneous and funny! She can pull out unexpected stuff like that! I know we already knew she isn’t a two-dimensional character, but I’m thrilled whenever we get a reminder. Go Claire!

Owen immediately follows this with, “You didn’t have to put it on your face.”

“Audience. Look. Look what I put up with.”

Oh well, at least she didn’t pull a Lego Ellie and do an Olympic dive into it.

TV spot 17 doesn’t contain any new footage, so it’s dead to me, but you can watch it here if you’re so inclined:

Here’s #18:

It begins with Gray in the visitor’s center, running up to meet his aunt Claire:



First of all, that hologram Parasaurolophus is awesome and it’s probably what my Patronus would look like. Second, see the look on Claire’s face in the second picture? You may very well recognize it; I know I do. I have spent my share of time with kids and thus spent time with other adults around kids, and I’ve gotten to know this look. It’s the look that says, “Hey, little buddy, I have no idea what to do with you!” It says, “Children are beautiful little miracles but get this one off me right now please.” This is the face of a woman who will desperately try to look busy and, when she sees the excitement shining in the kids’ eyes, will hold a very awkward conversation and try desperately to find a way to communicate with the tiny human that has been thrust upon her, all while never quite figuring out what tone of voice to use. In other words, I’m really curious to see how Claire gets from this frame of mind to being a protective mother bear later on.


Zach, apparently the one piloting the Gyrosphere, parks them at the edge of this very clearly-marked Restricted Area fence and smirks, “Dude. Off-road.” Dude, terrible idea. I mean, sure, stupid teenagers do stupid things and he’s probably just looking for a little excitement in this place he didn’t want to visit in the first place, but how did they even get to this area? They must have driven for a good quarter mile of empty plain at the very least to even get to this fence, which would take long enough that a dinosaur-loving little kid like Gray would probably have started whining his little head off to go back to where the dinosaurs were. And if they have the whole invisible-fence technology thing installed in both the Gyrospheres and the dinosaurs, wouldn’t some kind of warning or alarm system that they couldn’t turn off be going off above their heads by this point? You’d think that some factor would plant the seed of an idea in Zach’s head that not only getting to this point but also going past that heavily-marked, huge, intimidating-looking fence might not be such a good idea, but clearly his desire to get eaten overcomes all bounds. You know what, this deserves some special recognition. I’m dethroning Nick van Owen from his position in the Movie Stupidity Hall of Fame and giving his medal to Zach:



Here they are in the restricted zone; apparently these are wild Ankylosaurs, born free as the wind blows. This is probably about where the I. rex catches up to them. Can’t say at least one of them doesn’t deserve it.


Probably around the Main Street attack sequence, Gray says, “Can we stay with you?” to which Claire immediately responds, “I am never leaving you again.” That could be love for the kids or a desire to not get murdered by their mother talking, but either way it’s pretty sweet. Until both kids point to Owen and say, “No, him.”


He is the guy with the shotgun, after all. Also, the picture above that one made me want to turn this group into a heartwarming CBS sitcom. Maybe it could air on Tuesday nights right after “Rambles and Mumbles”,


That’s it for this TV spot, but I saw something in TV spot 14 that has either been added recently or that I’ve missed for a really, really, really long time.


What’s wrong with this picture?


That wouldn’t be such a big problem– an Apatosaur wouldn’t have any reason to get really close to a visitor, they know their place– but this shows that the “invisible fence” technology might not prohibit dinosaurs from entering the shallowish water next to kayakers. And guess what else lives in the Cretaceous Cruise area?



I know I’m thinking into this too much and the animals wouldn’t still live in the attraction if they’d shown themselves to eat people, but I still can’t help but think the whole setup is phenomenally stupid, even in Jurassic World. Maybe that’s why the ACUs are so necessary– their job is to contain and cover up animal incidents, and this would definitely fall under that category.

Here’s the aviary from a distance, where the I. rex is apparently inside and a certain helicopter is cruisin’ for a bruisin’:


Finally, Claire’s reaction to the dead apatosaur:


Don’t stifle your emotions, Claire. A stiff isn’t who you are.

New TV Spots, Clip and More of My Art

Yet another TV spot has dropped upon us, and this one is raptor-centric! http://www.forbes.com/sites/benjaminmoore/2015/05/21/jurrassic-world-tv-spot-chris-pratt-raptor-names/


Owen introduces the raptors by their names to the kids while everyone is still unscathed and calm. He says that Blue is the beta, and when Gray asks who’s the alpha, Owen says, “You’re looking at him, kid” with this look on his face. You know, this really makes me uncomfortable. First he sleazily hit on Claire and now he’s referring to himself as an ‘alpha’– guys, I think Owen might be a closet pickup artist.


The new tagline “Our park, their world” flashes on the screen as Owen does this (apparently Reddit Guy was right about this shot happening, and we’ve been waiting for that confirmation for quite a while). That looks like a downright draconian headpiece, and he’s getting a bit too close to the mouth area. Any other human would get a thorough and complete chomping for doing either of those things, let alone both. Better watch your back, Owen– that Star Lord charisma can only get you so far.


Indominus chases the boys out of the forest. I’m beginning to think the Gyrosphere attack scene happens, they abandon ship (a bit late if you ask me), I. rex chases them and that ends with them jumping down the waterfall. If Gray doesn’t get thoroughly Tim the Human Piece of Toast-ed after all of that happens, then wow, he might be more than an annoying twerp after all.

Another purely beautiful and scary TV spot came out. This makes #15:

You can guess from the start why I love this so much. That’s right, it’s got a precious tiny raptor baby! And she’s hatching!



(Edit: this is the I. rex. I have realized my mistake.) Aww, she’s just hatched and already she’s learned to tap her claws ominously like a true villain– they grow up so fast! I don’t know which one this is, but if this is in the actual movie, then it might confirm my greatest dream and hope for the future. We could get a full scene of Owen raising the Raptor Squad from hatchlings and taking care of his babies from birth. We could get an entire scene of cuddly raptor babies thinking Owen is their mother. If this is a thing that actually happens– I’d pretty much given up on it until now– then the movie is perfect already in my eyes. I will have no complaints whatsoever. Give me my baby raptor scene and I will huddle up with it in the corner and never say a word against the movie. I mean, there’s a whole plot and 14 years of waiting and memorable characters and everything, but look at her widdle baby claws!

On a related note, here’s the newest promotional art from Lego Jurassic World:

“Hee hee! In the source material, this is the last time any of us smile!”

That’s all the new footage from there; we also got a short clip of Masrani seeing I. rex for the first time.


The first thing he says is, “You didn’t tell me she was white.” Oh my gosh, Simon, you can’t just ask people why they’re white.


Claire says her, “Think it’ll scare the kids?” line and he responds with, “It’ll give the parents nightmares.” And he thinks this is a “fantastic” thing. For shame, Masrani, here I thought your inner good guy was shining through. I guess the self-awareness comes later, and if not, there’s a special spot in a dinosaur’s jaws reserved just for him. I love the way this scene looks. It’s very quiet and suspenseful in a way that a meeting between two ominous scientists should be, the pacing is just right and I can hear some notes of the Giaccino score in the background that I duly approve of. Two thumbs up.

The last video is Chris Pratt goofing off in the visitors’ center set, doing that weird dance again and singing the theme song. The cast, apparently, had gone stir-crazy by this point. I can’t say I blame them.

Well, I felt like doing some art today, so I did. In no way, shape or form am I good at drawing, but I felt like doodling so I drew a cartoon about the prehistoric animal that’s easiest to draw (and one of the coolest pre-dinosaurs if you ask me). The scan didn’t come out perfectly, but here’s my magnum opus, Things Dimetrodon Hates:

Dimetrodon 1

Dimetrodon 2

And finally, I did it again. I abused some coloring sheets, this time off the Lego site:

Lego 1

Lego 2

Lego 3

Oh, and look at the little cutie that hatched in my backyard this week!


He’s so tiny– he’s starting to grow his first coat of feathers and started vocalizing just the other day. It’s like there’s a little baby dromaeosaur right on my fence. I’ve named him Buckbeak.

Another Beautiful Lego Trailer

All right! It’s time for another trailer from possibly the best video game ever, Lego Jurassic World! I’m going to sound really sarcastic and annoyed here, but that’s just how I express my happiness. I’m really, really pumped for this game.

Before I cover the trailer, here’s the newest piece of promotional art for the game:


OK, first of all, no. No. No, Spinosaurus does not get to be the iconic dinosaur who strikes the iconic roaring pose through the iconic gates. I like the rest of the art and the game, but I will not accept this. Second, I’d like to applaud this artist otherwise, because in a single image, they’ve managed to perfectly show the complete scope of what an utter dunce Amanda Kirby is. Even Sarah Harding is running from the Spino, and if even Sarah Harding knows to run from something, you know it’s something seriously dangerous. Yet Amanda trips and lies sprawled on the ground, looking only mildly disturbed. Perfectly captured.


Aww, he doesn’t take his sunglasses off. 😦 I like how Ellie still has her fern, though. Study those vein arrangements, Ellie!


OK, I’ll admit I was wrong about the way this game handles this scene. They kept the wonder in it, I’ll give them that. It wouldn’t be a Jurassic Park game if we didn’t feel all Spielbergy at some point, after all.

“The %$*& you lookin’ at, Grant?”

Here’s our first look at a Lego compy, the coloration of which I absolutely adore. Also Eric Kirby, the least adorable kid in these movies. Just in case anyone cared.


Oh please oh please oh please let this be T. rex destroying the Spino skeleton in Jurassic World. That’s all I want. Oh it’s such a beautiful thought.

“Hee hee, look what I’m doiiiiinngggg!”

Hooray for more Lost World! In this scene, Sarah befriends the gentle Pachycephalosaurus after setting it free from its captors, along with the other herbivores. Surely such benevolent creatures will forgive, forget and cause no damage! What an example Mother Nature will set for us with these animals. Surely they would never–


–yep, thought so.


You have my full attention!


Here it is, folks. The most beautiful thing you’ll see all day. A newborn baby velociraptor jumps out of its egg while amniotic fluid sprays everywhere, much like a gorgeous mermaid leaping from the ocean with sea spray showering her in a watery halo. Ian Malcolm and Henry Wu make priceless expressions of disgust, and all of this drama plays out in Lego form. Let us join hands and celebrate this moment together.


Of course they had to include this, and somehow they made it even funnier. Note the bottom right corner, where it appears that Sarah is observing her imminent doom with a magnifying glass while Nick tries to get her to run. Will this game have a running joke where Sarah does even stupider stuff than she does in the movie? I hope it will.

babyyyyyy stop

–begin All-Caps Feelings Rant; this blog is occasionally where I post about my personal feelings because I don’t have a Tumblr–




–end Feelings Rant; this is my life and these are my choices–

In the background we can see Lego Roland and Ajay, who may be running but in this frame appear to be strolling along side by side, making idle chitchat.


Oh hey, look what hatchet the game just dug up! This is a totally safe scene to toy around with and it’s definitely not material that’s ever caused gigantic flame wars even 14 years after its release, no siree!


*through tightly gritted teeth* Here is a very fun fact. This seems to refer to pterosaurs, and pterosaurs are not flying dinosaurs. Because pterosaurs were not dinosaurs! Isn’t learning fun?



What happens to the pig? Is he gonna eat the pig?


…I mean, sure, okay, they are trained attack dinosaurs for the specific purpose of controlled killings, and they do seem to be trained to hold back from eating the pig until Owen gives the green light. I guess it’s not too bad to let them hunt live animals under those conditions. But wouldn’t letting them learn to hunt, attack and kill living creatures with great efficiency on a regular basis be just a teensy bit dangerous? I could be wrong, but I really wonder how well this was thought through.



All right! Lego Mosasaur! All hail Queen Lego Mosasaur! I love what we’ve seen so far of her underwater area, it seems very dark and ominous. It’s quite an appropriate lair and revenge-plotting location. On another note, I seem to recall that another red-haired female scientist, Dr. Sorkin, dies in a Mosasaur tank much like this one in Jurassic Park The Game. Hmmmmm.


Yay for tiny babies! This one appears to be on a rampage along with the I. rex. Gotta learn to kill all humans somehow, right?


Owen does a wicked motorcycle swerve along with Barry while a voice-over in his voice says, “That thing out there, that is no dinosaur.” (What is it, then, a fern?) I’m assuming he’s talking about the I. rex, but if he were discussing a Pteranodon or Mosasaur, I’d be very proud of him. He’d be much more correct about what is and isn’t a dinosaur than the rest of this trailer.

And that’s the end of it! Wow, that somehow made me even more hyped for this game. I didn’t even know that was possible! Next I’ll review the newest Raptorpass video, either tonight or tomorrow. It’s a doozy.

I Got Toys!

I finally got my hands on all of the Wave 1 toys that I’ve wanted for so long! I got all of them at Toys R Us except the T. rex, which I found at Kmart; if you live near one, you might want to check it out, I also found some Basher-Biters and Brawlasaurs there. Let’s begin with a little toy review from probably the last person in the fandom to get her hands on these things!



The first one I got was Ankylosaurus, my favorite herbivore since I was a kid and now one of the centerpieces of my collection. It has a lovely sculpt, the face isn’t misshapen like I thought it was and the Dino Damage wound is the least conspicuous in the whole line (and the screw holes are the least conspicuous as well). It’s also very playable, having a neck that sticks out when you move its leg and a swinging tail. I’m still deciding what to name this one; I feel the strange and inexplicable urge to nickname it Ham.


Next is the Stegoceratops which, as I’ve said before, has the best sculpt and paint job in the line. If you’re buying for quality, you’ve decided to accept a very possible movie-involved reality like I have or just want a nice herbivore in a brand where they’re fairly rare, this is a must-buy. It sticks its neck out as well, much like an iguana. I’ve named mine Stegoclaireatops for obvious reasons.





Next I got the I. rex and gyrosphere set. If you want an I. rex but don’t want to pony up $35 for a Bad Boy, this is for you. Of course, Bad Boy is still far superior, but this isn’t a bad alternative at all. Of course there are design flaws, like the screw holes and the extremely annoying Dino Damage slider (seriously, that thing gives a new meaning to ‘on a hair-trigger’) but it also looks great overall and has a very nice head sculpt. It might be the poor man’s I. rex, but it’s still a pretty great toy.

It came with a Gyrosphere and a very tiny ACU:



The ACU is, well, expendable (more on that later) but the Gyrosphere is great. It looks film-accurate and it’s sized pretty well with the larger figures and Anky, so you can reenact the Gyrosphere attack scene easily. And my mom is fond of it, so it can’t be too bad.


From Kmart today, I got the Chomping T. rex! Honestly, I have to say that this doesn’t deserve all of the flak that I and others have given it. It’s actually a pretty decent toy– not anywhere near Kenner level, but good enough on its own. The body is nicely colored and detailed, and the much-bemoaned head sculpt isn’t so bad up close:


If for no other reason than as a placeholder until the Mega Strike rex comes out this fall, I’d recommend getting this one. It’ll look nice and menacing on your desk or as a prop in your to-scale Jurassic Park River Adventure model. I thought it was appropriate to name this one Sue.


Finally, I got the Blue raptor growler! Out of all the toys, this one is my favorite. The sculpt and paint job are phenomenal– I’d even commit the heresy of comparing it to a Kenner raptor– and the sound effects and lunging-claw attack are very cool. The only problem that I have with it is that it can’t seem to stand up on its own for too long. If you get the balance juuuust right it might stay upright for you for a bit, but a stiff breeze will knock it right down. But don’t let that discourage you– it’s an otherwise great toy. Here’s the best I could do, with my incredibly shaky camera hand, of capturing her light-up wound:



Here’s a close-up of the new brand-name leg tattoos, a squarish JW that all the dinosaurs have in some color or another. They were very enthusiastic about their ink, and demonstrated the tattoos’ significance by telling me they cared about my soul and offering me free copies of The Watchtower.

But what are toys for if not for playing? I had some fun with mine for sure. I don’t know why, especially since I normally take huge care when handling any of my JP stuff, but I felt that this ACU guy needed to be shown his place, possibly because he dared to be the sort of human who’d shoot at a dinosaur without provocation. I needed to take him down a peg. He needed to be destroyed.





Even my truly horrible, years-old attempt at a Mosasaur statue hesitated before accepting him as prey.


Meanwhile, I. rex (name TBD; I’d welcome suggestions, has anyone got ideas? I’m going for something death-metal yet feminine here) and Stegoclaireatops were having a very productive meeting of their support group when Sue came in and crashed it, thinking it was a party. T. rexes do have a terrible habit of crashing into buildings without prior warning.


Immediately after I took these, Ian began requesting that everyone call him either “Malcolm the Dinosaur Slayer” or “Ian the Great, Beast-Tamer”. Fearing the power of the guy who before this called himself “Chaos King”, the dinosaurs complied.




There was a family reunion, and the whole gang got back together!


It was, however, not without disputes. Tensions mounted. I fear things may come to blows sometime soon.


But everything turned out okay in the end. Here is a dark but mostly all-encompassing (there’s a vehicle and two hatchlings missing) picture of my collection, solely for bragging reasons:


Just because I felt like it, I put on my Ellie cosplay and took a couple of shots with Sue. Luckily I live right across the street from some very Nublar-like woods; I have a whole cosplay album with Ellie, Ian and Alan and maybe sometime I’ll post it here.

Don’t judge too hard, I didn’t have enough daylight left for a decent makeup job.



That’s it, and as you can see I’m very happy that I finally got my dinos! If any of you guys have gotten yours yet, please feel free to put them in ridiculous situations and send me pictures, there’s no end to the possible hilarity! Especially if you have a similar need to abuse the ACUs. And speaking of cosplay, I’d better not be the only one in the fandom going to the midnight premiere in cosplay. I’ll probably end up going as Malcolm; I’d love to see some kindred spirits and I’ll probably keel over from happiness if I see an Ellie there with me. So if you’ve got a similar plan, send your pictures so at the least I can gush over them and at the most I can feature you in a cosplay post! We’ve got a huge opportunity here and I for one plan to explain chaos theory to at least six people that night. Let’s not just see this movie. Let’s freakin’ storm it.